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9 Worst First Date Mistakes To Avoid

9 Worst First Date Mistakes To Avoid

Dating can be fun! You get to meet new people and see if they’re a match for you. But the road to love is also filled with bumps and potholes, many of them occurring on the first date!

Check out these nine first date mistakes. Have you made any of them?

 

1. Standing Them Up (Getting Stood Up)

Have you ever had a date with someone, only to have them not show up? Or have you made plans with someone and then changed your mind at the last minute? Unless you can’t get to your phone to cancel your date, you need to show up. Even if you’re not feeling it, you made a promise, and you need to go through with it. If possible, try calling and canceling in advance, but never leave someone hanging because you’re not ready to date, feel insecure, or lack interest.

 

2. Choosing The Wrong Location

When choosing a site for your first date, make sure it’s the kind of location that allows you and your date to get to know each other. Go for dinner, coffee, or head out on a hike. These are all great options. If you’re having a meal together, choose a place that isn’t too pricey or cheap. No one likes a showoff or a cheapskate! How about an art gallery? You can talk about the various pieces on display; that way, you don’t have to talk about yourselves the whole time. Don’t take your date to a noisy club. You don’t want to spend the entire night yelling in each other’s ears or, worse yet, not talking at all.

 

3. Dressing Inappropriately

Make sure you know where you’re going, so you can plan your outfit accordingly. Don’t be afraid to dress up a little and treat yourself to a haircut or facial. But, of course, that means you’ll need to leave the sweats at home (unless you’re doing something physical). Guys, wear a nice shirt. Ladies, it’s okay to show a little skin and experiment with your make-up, but remember, you’re making a first impression, and you want it to show you have class.

 

4. Giving Them Gifts

Guys, you don’t need to show up with three dozen roses and a massive box of chocolates on the first date. Likewise, ladies, you don’t need to buy him a gold chain. These gestures make you look desperate (and a little crazy). Instead, wow your date with witty banter and good manners. Keep it simple. If the date goes well, you’ll have other opportunities to give them or exchange gifts down the road.

 

5. Heavy Conversation

Keep the conversation light on the first date. Avoid the temptation to talk about nasty exes, the medications you take, religion, politics, and money. Of course, you can disclose a little about your past (where you’re from, what you studied in school, your hobbies, etc.), but never offload your life’s baggage on them before the appetizer arrives.

 

6. Being Overcritical

Don’t scrutinize your date too much. Don’t obsess over how it went or what each word or gesture meant. It’s the first date! Don’t dismiss them if they didn’t wow you. Everyone is nervous on a first date, even you. If you go on a second date (and maybe a third, fourth, etc.), they may unwind, and you’ll get a better sense of who they actually are.

 

7. Being a Bad Listener

When it comes to a first date, you should listen more than talk. Move the spotlight off yourself and on to the other person. It’s a conversation, not a monologue! And keep your eyes on your date in an appropriate manner. Don’t look at the hot server or the game on tv. Leave your phone in your pocket, don’t answer calls, and don’t respond to texts.

 

8. Overindulging in Food and Drink

Don’t drink so much that you get sloppy and inappropriate. Don’t eat so much that you spill on yourself or your clothes get uncomfortable. Show a little self-control. No one is going to find you charming if you’re intoxicated and eating everything in sight.

 

9. Not Following Up

If you want to go out with them again, call them the next day. It shows them you’re interested, and if you are, don’t play games by waiting three days to call or waiting for them to contact you. Finally, if you had a great time, make sure the other person knows it. Plan for your second date and ways to get to know them even better!

 

Dating is supposed to be fun! You have a wonderful opportunity to meet new people and explore new venues or experiences with a person that might be a special match for you. By learning 9 of the most common and troublesome first date mistakes, you can ensure you never waste your time or your emotions again!

How to Keep Jealousy from Destroying Your Relationship

Jealousy

Over the years, jealousy has been referred to as a green-eyed monster. Jealousy has often been called the “green-eyed monster,” and with good reason. This creature is created by envy and grows like a cancer and, like this insidious disease it can spread quickly and can kill a relationship.

When it starts to grow it feeds on the jealousy felt by the partner until it turns them into the monster.  This jealousy and envy can turn us against ourselves.  With the jealousy we create tenuous hold on our own self esteem.  This can make us bitter and resentful and leads us into being envious of things that we don’t have that we think are important.

From this tiny seed of envy, a large tree of doubt and mistrust grows towards your partner and for no reason. You may be jealous of people who have a shared history or people who seem closer to your partner.  This can affect your behavior and your partner will definitely notice.

Instead of letting this grow, act positively by getting to know his friends so you can feel reassurance and also learn a bit more about your love. Here are some things you can do to make sure that you do not fall into the prison of jealousy:

  • Do not isolate yourself.
  • Devote free time to other people and not just always your partner.
  • Talk to your friends and colleagues.
  • Have a balance in your relationship.
  • Use self-care and know your own needs.

If you absolutely cannot break this jealousy chain, you can always consult a psychic who uses astrology can study the charts of you and your partner.  They may be able to find out if you really have reason to be jealous. She can also help you understand why you are the jealous type and reassure you that you are just someone inclined to be possessive or jealous. She can help you understand yourself and how to control your jealousy.

Scorpio’s and Jealousy

Scorpio is a sign that is closely connected to jealousy. The feelings in this sign run deep and are not often easy to express. An astrologer will look to see if you have any planets in the sign of Scorpio, especially the Moon or Venus. The Moon in Scorpio creates and possessive and emotional nature, and your sense of security will feel threatened by any ties that your partner has elsewhere.

The Moon in Scorpio will dictate the preference that these things are not displayed. Similar feelings will arise with old friends — especially female friends — and close work colleagues.

Finding love is not easy for a person with the Moon in Scorpio, because no one comes without baggage. Such jealousy can be difficult to communicate and even more difficult to live with, but a psychic can guide you in dealing with these feelings.

Venus in Scorpio

Venus in Scorpio has a slightly different approach. Venus is concerned with looks and romance, so the attractiveness of the exes, female friends, and work colleagues will be a big factor in jealous fears. If you have Venus in Scorpio in your chart, you will feel threatened particularly if your partner’s job brings him into daily contact with attractive women, whom you will see as rivals.

If he has to attend expensive lunches with attractive clients, you will feel threatened and demand that he make up for it by taking you out to dinner. If he has been looking forward to a quiet evening at home with you and does not understand why you need reassurance, it can damage your relationship.

Understanding Jealous Feelings

Understanding why you have these feelings can help you avoid unnecessary bouts of betrayal. He may not understand why you should feel jealous of people he needs to be in contact with every day. He may not understand that you see his contact with his ex in a different light. To him, it is something he has to do because they have joint business interests or children, while to you it looks as if he can’t let go of her.

Final Thoughts

If you can’t let go of these feelings of jealousy, they will molder and eventually destroy the new relationship as well. A psychic will advise you on the best ways of communicating with your partner, either by comparing your astrological natal charts or by reading the Tarot cards.

The key to a happy relationship is mutual understanding. Don’t let your jealousy turn you into another ex-girlfriend.

Love is a Card Game

Love is a Card Game

Just like love, card games, particularly poker, is challenging.  There is a system of highly convoluted rules that change depending on the dealer and the players as they sit down.  This type of player is generally owned by gamblers and those who do not rely on luck and fortune to plot out a win.

Just like in the game of love, it isn’t always the person you expect to win the prize.   It is usually the same guy who walks off with the winnings, seemingly reliant on skill instead of luck.

If you look at romance and love as if it were a card game, you can gain some insight on what you can do to improve your gain.

What is a good hand?

Generally speaking, the cards with the highest numbers usually win.  But, played correctly, low cards can eventually win the day.  If you look at this in the way of love, what initially appears to be a winner may be beaten by someone who is a better match.

Why Is a Jack lower than a King?

If you continue on the lines of this metaphor, the Jack is constantly playing, preferring the quick hook-up to a full partnership. The King, on the other hand has a higher rating because he is a real man capable of real relationships.

The power of holding

In some games, you can always hold, or check. This means you don’t have to bet; you can stand still and take the opportunity to see what your fellow player may be willing to disclose. In this way, you can wait before you make your move on a potential partner so you can see how other people invest in a relationship.  By holding you can see if a bet is worth the investment.

Calling a Bet

At some point you have to decide if you want to take the chance.  This is best seen when you look at what your fellow players bring to the game.  Are you willing to match what someone else is willing to do.

Folding

If you stop taking a chance before the game is over, you don’t lose as much.  Recognize when you have not been dealt a winning hand.  Instead of trying to bluff your way to the rest of the game, cut your losses before you lose too much.

Wild card

Unless you are playing a professional game, the rules are very flexible.  Sometimes people will toss in the chance of a wild card. This can make a joker seem valuable. In that way, the wild card may have an importance to you that no one else can see. Stick by your choice and you may just emerge the winner.

Go all in?

If you have the best hand and are willing to see how high the stakes really are, you can safely commit to your choice.   If you know that you are the one and only in your partner’s eyes, you can confidently go all in by proclaiming that your relationship is the real thing. This will cause anyone else trying to play in this game to cash in their chips and go home.

Advice for the Newly Married Couple

Advice for the Newly Married Couple

It is very easy to get married. It is much more difficult to be married. As regular life takes hold with its accompanying responsibilities, newly married couples often have to work harder to keep the fun and excitement of the relationship alive.  Here are a few tips to keep your newlywed happy!

How problems begin.

Let your partner know if something is worrying you.  Don’t let the problems build up. Even if you think they will be offended about what you say (such as that you don’t like the fact that he leaves he socks on the bookshelf in front of your college diploma) tell him right away and as calmly as possible. It is much better to face this calmly now rather than scream about it ten years down the road.

Let the small problems go.

People who live together get on each other’s nerves.  This is a fact.  Don’t let the insignificant day to day issues enrage you. Choose your battles and let the little things go.

Talk about finances and family issues early in the relationship.

If possible, discuss your financial and family details before you get married.  Having the details of bills and budget ironed out before you settle in will help avoid big misunderstandings later.  Also discussing the details of how your families will fit in to your lifestyle will save you a lot of headaches later.

Don’t air your dirty laundry.

If you are having problems with your partner, address it privately.  Don’t put them down in front of others. It is a truly bad idea to give anyone a negative view of your spouse while you are fighting.  This will only backfire on you down the road.

Fight Fair

If the two of you are having a disagreement, avoid dragging in old business or past problems. Don’t belittle each other and don’t run away from the fight.  Take a breath and time to think before you speak.   Don’t forget to apologize when the problem is settled.

Don’t Take Them for Granted

Appreciate your partner.  Always remember to be grateful for everything they do for you.  Everyone loves a compliment.

You can keep the romance in your life alive by treating each day as if it were your first date.  This constant care of your relationship will help your love survive anything.

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Is an Arranged Marriage Suitable for You?

Arranged Marriage

It is almost unheard of in our modern society, but some marriages are set up by the families of a young couple.  The parents of the couple agree to meet and then introduce the bride and groom to each other. In a sharp contrast to olden times, this couple is allowed to converse and decide if they want to commit to the marriage.

Years ago, the couples in the arranged marriage had little to no input and frequently did not even meet until the wedding day. As we all know, each and every relationship needs to adjust, and compromises have to be made so that the couple can move forward.  A question that comes is how long the initial flurries of flirtation and excitement can last, and do we put too much stock and value in these things.

Marriage based on Love

Some people are raised on the idea that a successful marriage is based on a magical love experience.  This sets us up for a serious disappointment.  Marriage is hard work and definitely challenging, even if you are a good match with your partner.  This probably comes from the fact that too often people commit to a partnership based largely on chemistry and sexual compatibility. Thus, when the initial stages of a marriage are over, the couple is left with the harsh reality of day-to-day life together.

Arranged Marriage

So is it settling to disregard sexual chemistry and let someone make the choice for you.  Is there such a thing as good enough when it comes to marriage.  Can family take the struggle out of the equation for you?  Something that is becoming increasingly more common is the consultation of a matchmaker to help find a life partner.

Obviously for this to work a great deal of trust must be placed in the matchmaker and the client must be open to the idea of marriage as a process and work on building trust and a marriage.

Comparatively speaking

Research has shown that most love marriages have a few ups and downs during the first decade of the partnerships.  This may be because it is within the first few years of togetherness the shine comes off the marriage and people get down to the business of living.

Conversely, in the arranged marriage, love and happiness truly blooms somewhere around the first five years.  As the couple gets to know each other, they can fall in love without the blur of hormones blinding them to the maintenance of their marriage.

What about divorce?

In the case of the arranged marriage, it is harder to give up on a relationship. This is because a considerable amount of investment has gone into putting the partnership together, so the couple has many other things to consider. These influences can help a couple make the decision to work out things between themselves.

Could an arranged marriage be for you?

Consulting a matchmaker or asking your parents to find you a match is not the way to resolve your life just because you are having trouble finding a match by dating.  An arranged marriage does have the components of a successful marriage by finding a partner for you that is compatible on other areas of your life instead of fixating on physical attraction.

How Love is Beneficial in One’s Life?

Do you feel yourself falling in love? If so, never resist it. Only few things are better for your health than being in love! Love is good for both physical and mental health. You don’t have to MAKE love to gain these benefits – FALLING in love is enough! Researchers from all around the world have given evidence showing that people of all ages benefit from being in love.

Some of love’s benefits are just self-evident, while other benefits are mysterious, but every stage in an emotional relationship, from the first romantic spark to long-term, deep-rooted relationship, comes with its own rewards. Here are just a few benefits.

Love is Good for Your Heart Health

Love is not only good for the emotional indicator, but it’s also good for that thing beating in your chest. Positive emotional feelings, particularly in the long-term, has been shown to reduce the risk of heart attacks, especially in men. A study in American Journal of Medicine, in which research data was collected for about 10,000 men, showed those who felt “being loved and supported” by a partner had a decreased risk of heart attack, even in cases other factors existed, such as senior age or elevated blood pressure.

Meanwhile, San Diego State and the University of Pittsburgh studies indicated that women in good marriages had a much lower risk of cardiovascular disease than those who were in stressful relationships.

Need more evidence that love is good for your heart health? A 2013 Finnish study by the European Journal of Preventive Cardiology revealed that marriage reduced the risk of heart attacks for both genders men and women of all ages. The researchers studied 15,000 cardiac cases over 10 years and concluded that acute events were 58% to 66% higher in single men, and 60% to 65% higher in single women, compared to those living a stable relationship.

SEX is Good for Your Immune System

Apart from the obvious reasons that sex improves our mood, researchers have found a link between frequent sexual intimacy and how strong our immune system is. A Pennsylvania study showed that participants who engaged in sex once or twice a week had higher levels of Immunoglobulin A—which is an important asset for preventing illness—than peers who didn’t. However, the study continued to conclude that for those who engaged in sexual activity more than twice a week had low levels of Immunoglobulin A, as well.

Hugging Lowers Your Blood Pressure

Did you know that hugging your beloved ones can actually help lower your blood pressure?  Studies have indicated that couples who held one another’s hands for a period of 10 minutes, followed by a 20-second hug showed healthier reactions to emotional triggers, in addition to, lower heart rates and lower blood pressure, compared to those who got involved in stressful situations. In addition to hugging, non-sexual caresses cause high blood pressure-relieving benefits for women.

Love Helps Banish Cancer

A study conducted by University of Iowa researchers who discovered that, ovarian cancer patients who were in emotionally “satisfying relationships” were gifted by increase in frequency of “natural killer” cell activity that smashes cancerous cells as part of immune system’s response in comparison with those who lacked emotional support.

Long Term Relationships Still Have a Chance

In a 2008 TED talk, a biological anthropologist at Rutgers University Helen Fisher revealed that, she scanned the brains of lovers who were madly in love and learned that there was a positive effect for love on the gray matter that produces the neurotransmitter dopamine—a natural chemical that helps send signals in the brain. According to Fischer, lovers who in long-term relationships, have showed “similar patterns of neural activity to those who still in early-stage romantic love.”

Studies also indicated that other romantic activities such as kissing, hugging, and cuddling have also caused triggering the production of the hormone oxytocin, which helps us remain in love. Also, a study by At Bar-Ilana University in Israel led by psychology professor Ruth Feldman indicated that “the increase in oxytocin during the period of falling in love was the highest ever found.”

LOVE may not be the cure for everything that disturbs you, but speaking of your health, Cupid could be cure for many physical issues.

Get Your Questions Answered: Mind Blowing Accuracy with Top Psychic for Love!

5 Reasons You Always Date the Wrong People

5 Reasons You Always Date the Wrong People

Love is one of the most beautiful, natural things in the world. It leaves you vulnerable in the best possible way. It allows you to experience life as never before. It provides a feeling you can’t put into words. But, regrettably, love also happens to be a tricky (and, at times, evil) bitch.

 

Navigating through love and relationships is one of life’s inevitabilities. However, I hear people constantly choosing the wrong romantic partners. Now, this doesn’t directly pertain to one gender over another. Statistically speaking, all genders equally waste time on worthless relationships.

 

If your love life isn’t bringing you happiness, maybe one of the following factors contributes to your poor decision-making when determining a suitable partner.

 

1. You Want What You Can’t Have.

While the thrill of the chase may or may not be part of our DNA, people, especially men, love a challenge. As a result, people who refuse to invest emotionally, or withhold physical or emotional affection as a tool to manipulate their lovers into doing what they want, can become an obsession. Like a gambling addict running a losing streak, men often date a partner long after there’s any hope of breaking even, much less coming out ahead.

 

What You Can Do to Change

The first thing you can try to do is accept suitors are not trophies, they are people, and not all people are worthy of your time. No matter how attractive or accomplished they may be, it’s no excuse for letting them treat you like dirt. So, the next time you find yourself falling for someone who does not reciprocate your feelings, step back and take a look at what you think it is that makes them so perfect. Consider how they don’t meet your needs—or worse, treat you with disrespect. Does a little voice in your head start making excuses for their bad behavior? That’s a sure sign they’re not the one. Turn up the volume on your common sense to drown out that misguided little voice and move on to someone who truly appreciates you.

 

2. Commitment Phobia

Some guys subconsciously seek out inappropriate partners because it gives them an out. As much as they protest, they’re looking for love and long-term romance, the reality is, they’re terrified of being tied down. Why? It often boils down to fear of boredom or the feeling they may miss out on someone who might be “a better catch.”

 

What You Can Do to Change

If you view a relationship as something static that isn’t going to change once achieved, you’re dooming yourself to failure. Healthy relationships grow and evolve, and like a shark, must constantly move forward to remain vital and alive. That said, not even the best relationship is going to be perfect all the time. Are you going to be bored occasionally? Yes. And they will get bored with you, as well. But rather than allowing yourself to fall into a romance-scuttling rut, you can learn to recognize the signs of ennui and shift direction. It doesn’t have to be something crazy. Even a subtle change can get you back on course. And about “missing out?” If you start dating someone who is a good match intellectually, physically, emotionally, and spiritually, what could you possibly be missing out on?

 

3. Beauty as the Beast

Is the media to blame for your poor romantic choices? Partly. Advertising, the Internet, and the cult of celebrity have created a feminine ideal that is as highly appealing as it is virtually unattainable. More and more often, gorgeous women with toxic personalities are seen as the “it girls” of their generation. Physical flaws are erased, while emotional shortcomings are glamorized.

 

What You Can Do to Change

While there’s no quick fix for this, there’s such a thing as too much media. Turn off your devices and reconnect with your moral compass. Think about how you truly want to be treated, as a living, breathing, feeling, thinking human being. It’s OK to be the hero in your own story, but the most authentic and fulfilling lives are lived as non-fiction. Meet people in the real world. Have a face-to-face discussion. You may learn that a charming person is more satisfying to the soul than all that hype you’ve been ingesting.

 

4. Mommy Not So Dearest

It’s normal for those who grow up in a dysfunctional family to subconsciously recreate their parental role models’ unhealthy relationships to attempt to heal the psychological wounds, negligence, or abuse they suffered as children. In the best of all possible worlds, every child would get the love and care they need and deserve, but that isn’t the case. Men who grew up with distant, cruel, or even abusive mothers often continue to seek out love from inappropriate or emotionally unavailable partners to fill a hole in their hearts left by their moms.

 

What You Can Do to Change

People tend to idolize their parents. As a result, the most challenging thing many of us must do is accept our parents are only human and have limitations. Another thing that many find difficult to understand is that you had no control over your parents’ relationships, with each other, or with you as a child. The first step in moving forward is to admit that while your mom may have been incapable of showering you with affection, you deserve to be loved. Reaching this conclusion may require help. There’s nothing shameful about seeking out some sound counseling to guide you to make healthier love choices in the future.

 

5. Sexual Double Standard

Contrary to popular opinion, women aren’t always looking for Mr. or Ms. Right. Sometimes, “Mr. or Ms. Right Now,” is as far as they want to go. Historically, women usually believed that sleeping with someone would lead to a committed relationship and was associated with love—and it was women who were disappointed and heartbroken. These days, the table turns both ways: women might also not be in “relationship-seeking mode” and can be just as interested in the release and pleasure afforded by a quick physical hook-up as a man might be.

 

What You Can Do to Change

All genders can and do enjoy sex without commitment. If you keep getting your signals crossed, confusing love and lust, you may have to update your romantic radar to include partners who “just wanna have fun.” How? By learning to pay attention to what they’re actually telling you rather than what you want to hear. Just as no really does mean no, when someone says, “I’m not interested in a relationship, but I’d love to hook up,” chances are, they are telling the truth.

 

Whatever the reason for ending up in a lopsided relationship, there’s no reason to have to stay in one. Instead, take your newfound understanding, and move forward, knowing that with the right intent and perspective, your forever person will find their way into your life.

Don’t Be Too Stressed for Sex

Too Stressed for Sex

You know how it goes: It’s another evening, you both are home, but you’re tired. Your kids are never asleep. You feel uncomfortable in your body.  Work is stressing you out.  It’s an old story for anyone in a long-term relationship. There are so many reasons not to be intimate, especially when the pillow and the remote are so tempting and undemanding.

A healthy sex life is an important part of a relationship. Neglecting it and your partner can cause your relationship to falter and fray.  Here are a few tips:

Help out

Where does stress come from? Some think that it’s unfinished housework; things that have piled up and other to dos that have gone undone. Your partner may be more pliable if they have less to do before they can relax. Besides, making sure your partner has a bit of wiggle room is always romantic.

Warm it up

Research shows that you are more likely to achieve climax if your feet are warm. It is unknown what the correlation is, but the coziness is definitely key.  It may be that your feet are cold in times of stress. So warm up your feet and warm up the bedroom!

Perhaps a demonstration?

For some reason, it is hard for us to tell people what we want. This can be a problem when it comes to communicating wants and needs to a partner.   Don’t be afraid. If you are close enough to someone to be in the situation in the first place, you should be able to tell or at least show what you want.

Something new

Trying out something new in the bedroom will not only brighten the spark in your relationship it will also go a long way to reducing your stress. You don’t have to go to extremes, like taking a gymnastics class or involving hardware, just change the few things. Maybe select some toys together or watch a spicy movie.  Get a couple’s massage and let your instincts be your guide.

Intimacy is more than sex

Physical contact is just as intimate as sex.  Cuddle and hug more. Close contact releases a chemical called oxytocin that helps put you in the mood for love.

Final Thoughts

Though sex does not make a relationship good or bad, making sure that you are being intimate can really change your relationship for the good. It is important that you take time to be intimate both in and out of bed in order to make your bedroom a place of joy and peace. Try out the things on this list and you can have a happier, less stressful life.

8 Signs You’re Too Attached to Your Man

You’re Too Attached to Your Man

Whether you’re in a relationship or simply crushing on a guy, there are clear signs that you’re too attached to him. Even if he’s as obsessed with you as you are with him, your actions could be dangerous. You don’t want to develop unhealthy feelings or end up getting hurt.

Many people (especially women) equate loving a man with perpetual giving, submitting, and acquiescing. A woman may seem to have an endless supply of love to give to others but little to offer to herself. She tends to submit, thinking her role is to support rather than take the lead. Unfortunately, she often acquiesces her power in the relationship to help her man feel more powerful and remain dominant. A woman’s identity should not be dependent on proving her love. Nor should a man’s identity be defined by how well he provides. When a woman overly relies on feeling fulfilled by doing everything she can to make her man happy, she seldom realizes how little she gets in return.

The following signs will hopefully give you a bit of insight into behaviors that suggest you love your guy a bit too much:

  1. Standing On Your Head To Make Him Happy

If your man is grumbling, distant, and uncommunicative, don’t take it as your cue to jump up and start catering to his needs. Fluffing his pillow or spending hours in the kitchen fixing his favorite meal won’t cure his woes. It will only exhaust you. Yes, he might seem like your everything. But doing “everything” for him demeans and enables him. Should you continue on this path, your man will likely see you like his mother rather than his lover and partner. Women often feel overly responsible for their men’s wounds and moods, worrying that they either caused or amplified them. In her eyes, she must have done something wrong to force him into silence and detach from her. A woman, therefore, sees it as her duty to nurture him into a mood change and may experience unnecessary shame or guilt.

  1. Looking Up to Him and Looking Down on Yourself

Many women put men on a pedestal because of a collective legacy of feminine degradation. After all, myths tell us that the sun shines brightest, and the moon only glows because of the sun. For centuries, women have been brainwashed into believing a man’s intelligence is superior to all other genders. This conditioned belief is difficult to purge even for the most liberated and accomplished woman. If you place your guy on the highest rung, thinking he is more intelligent, capable, and ultimately more important, all that admiration will make you look and feel pathetic. Your adoration will likely only fuel an already too big ego and will only erode your sense of self-worth.

  1. Abandoning Your Friends to Spend Every Waking Minute with Him

The worst thing a woman can do is deny herself time with her friends or from her hobbies. Concerned her partner will miss her too much, unable to fend for himself, she may get anxious over being met with disapproval if she spends too much time away from him. If you are the type to only contact friends when your mate is away or hang up the phone abruptly when he comes through the door, you might be damaging other relationships. For example, your friends are probably annoyed by your rude behavior. You also could be missing out on precious time to develop your favorite hobbies. When things aren’t running smoothly in a relationship, self-care practices like spending time alone or with good friends are essential. Make sure to listen to your friends when they offer support and advice.

  1. Your Goals Don’t Matter As Much as His

Prioritizing your partner’s goals and abandoning your goals, whether a career choice, an educational opportunity, or a spiritual journey, only derail your quest for personal fulfillment. Perhaps you sacrifice too much to encourage him because you believe he deserves success more than you or because you don’t believe in yourself deep inside. However, if you put your personal goals on the back burner too long, your dreams will simmer away, and you may end up resenting both him and yourself.

  1. Kissing Up Too Often

No matter what you believe, kissing up to your man won’t tame the beast in him. On the contrary, he will lose respect for you and complain even more. It is common for a woman to side with her mate, even if she knows he’s wrong, support poor decisions or refrain from giving advice. She may think she is proving her love and faith in him by keeping silent. If you find yourself the one to always say sorry first, taking the brunt of the blame for all arguments, you will lose self-respect, and your self-image will crumble. Sure, you may believe it is easier just to let him think he’s won, but he has lost something valuable too – his respect for you.

  1. Submitting to Sex

Love and sex are simpatico in a woman’s mind. Yet, thinking a man has affection on his mind when he pushes or coerces her to have sex is not “lovemaking.” Letting a man have his way with you doesn’t honor the sacredness of true intimacy. You will likely feel used and even abused if, after countless times of saying “no,” you ultimately submit. Sex is an expression of love, not a duty. Remember, you have the right to say “no” at any point of intimacy, and he must stop, or it may be considered abuse.

  1. He Gets Everything; You Get Nothing

He’s got every power tool available, a basement full of music equipment he doesn’t play, and just brought home a new Harley-Davidson saying it will save on gas. You? Your wardrobe consists of clothing found in the local thrift store, and you bought it with the change you had to dig out of the bottom of your purse. To make matters worse, you can’t help bringing him home “a little something” from time to time. Women who are in the practice of indulging their mates while denying themselves feel undeserving. They appear vicariously gratified just knowing their mate has it all. Just seeing him happy is enough for her.

  1. Dismantling Your Boundaries

Some women let their mates push them into agreeing to do things they know will prove disastrous. For example, inviting his best friend to camp out in your living room for a month because their spouse kicked them out for being a slob. Maybe your guy brought home two stray dogs because they looked lonely should push you to set some limits. But no matter how frustrated you feel, you don’t have the heart to tell him this behavior is disrespectful and forces you to do extra work. So instead, you stay silent, not wanting him to think you are being “difficult.” But if you invariably dismantle your boundaries to accommodate your partner’s fragile heart, your heart will brim over with resentment. Loving someone means you respect him enough to set limits, expect that he treats you with respect, and makes compromises in as many meaningful ways as you give to him. A woman may have to fight her inclinations to submit and sacrifice in the name of love. If she yearns to receive love, she must first love herself enough to ask for what she needs and stop giving endlessly, thinking it maintains her space in his heart.

It is vital in every relationship to have balance, especially when it comes to parity in time, effort, and affection. Love is not an endless supply. It takes hard work, patience, and reciprocity. Set healthy boundaries and make sure you both respect one another’s limits. This will prevent you from overtaxing yourself or getting hurt. Finally, make sure you form your sense of identity and have a clear vision of your dreams and goals. A man worthy of your time and love will find ways to nurture and support you, as will for him.

Does Your Partner Love Your Pet?

Does Your Partner Love Your Pet?

You’ve finally found the smart handsome guy that you have been looking for. You both have a lot of things in common except, he DOES NOT LIKE PETS. But, before you pre-judge your relationship, you need to know a few things and then you can make your decision whether to end the relationship and find another partner who adores pets or to stick to your new relationship and learn how to adapt to the new situation.

Why doesn’t your partner get along with your pet?

Not everyone loves pets, some are allergic, some have a negative experience with pets from childhood, some are just uncomfortable with them, some are unfamiliar with how to deal with them. They already have their own experience, and your precious pet is not going to change it!

BUT what if you are obsessed with your pet? What if your pet sleeps with you in bed? What if your animal sits with you on the couch? What if you bring them with you in your car? However, are you willing to ruin your relationship for your pet? Of course not, nobody wants even to think about it.

Before you let yourself fall in love, pay attention, this is a very important issue to discuss with your date right from the start, just make it clear to any date or even any potential date, that you are a completely committed pet parent.

You don’t have to stay single just because your partner doesn’t like your pet. And no need to get rid of your pet because there is no chemistry between your new partner and your dog! There are so many great men in the world who are proud and devoted pet owners.

Signs that your pet is ruining your relationship:

  • Your partner refuses to help with the pet.
  • If you argue a lot about your pet’s related issues.
  • Your partner started to ask whether you like your pet more.
  • You cancel on your partner, to spend more time with your pet.
  • Your partner mistreats your pet and shouts a lot at him.

What if you are new to having a pet attached to a relationship, there are some techniques for you and your partner to learn in order to adapt.

Compromise

Also having a pet involved in your relationship is good to understand and know your partner more, because pets are good excellent judges of character, and if an animal doesn’t like someone, there’s probably a good reason. You can also learn more about someone by how she/he treats animals, so it’s a good chance for you to know more about your date.

It’s easy to give your pet a lot of attention and care if you are single, but if you are in a relationship, you will have to make compromises. You will need to alter things a little bit such as walks, grooming and feeding times.

Also, sleeping with your pet in bed, may be too much for some people. You can buy a comfy pet bed and put it on the floor or even an ottoman, so your pet is still near you.

Allergy

Your partner may not be a pet person because of allergies. He/she may have a medical condition that prevents them from communicating with a pet. To solve that problem, you simply plan to have your own space away from your pet and consider having an outdoor pet house for your pet.

Being unfamiliar

Your partner is unfamiliar with pets because he didn’t grow up with one. He is not a pet hater, but he hasn’t been taught how to live with a pet in the same place. But as a pet owner, how will you help him adapt with your pet? The answer is very simple: teach him how to deal with them. Help him know how to give them a bath, feed them, walk them, and play with them.

Jealousy

Your new partner may get jealous of your pet. He/she needs to know that they are number one in your world. Help your partner see you have time for everyone in your life before he comes and asks you if you love your pet more!

Adopting a pet

What if both of you like pets? If so, why not think about raising your own pet. Believe it or not, raising a pet together may take your relationship to the next level. However, you need to discuss whether you both are willing to take a pet’s responsibilities together. You need to know who is going to pay for the pet’s food, vet’s bills, and clean after the pet.

You also need to plan ahead and discuss if the pet will stay in an indoor or outdoor house. Also, things like walking the pet and giving him a bath should be addressed.

And the most important thing you need to discuss is if you both have the time for this newcomer or not, and if not, you need to plan ahead to manage your time and share the pet’s responsibilities.

You also should have in detail discussions about why you need a pet at this stage. Is your partner planning to buy a new house with a nice backyard or maybe you are both feeling bored, and you need something new in your life.

To close

Being a pet owner is one of the greatest things that can happen to any of us, but if having a pet will result in ruining your relationships, than you need to make some sacrifices. For example, if you are the one who decided to bring the pet into your relationship, then you need to do a little extra work and spend more time to care for your pet.

It is not necessary that you and your partner agree on everything. You may find that your partner is simply less in love with your pet than you are, and this is acceptable as long as this doesn’t affect your relationship in a negative way.