It’s been for a little while since you dated. You were hitched, or in a long haul, submitted relationship, and after that, for unknown reason, it finished. All of a sudden, you wind up in another world in which the standards of dating have changed and you are uncertain how to begin to find new love.

Online dating for women looking to start over can be scary. Any relationship that is older than a smartphone—that is to say, around 10 years or more—is one that started before a great shift occurred in how people meet their love interests. People have been meeting online for longer than that, of course, but as recently as 15 years ago, it was still (unfairly) considered strange. Now, it is normal, and it comes with its own rules and language.

This can be scary to navigate, especially because after leaving a long relationship—one in which you may have thought you’d be in forever—you can be emotionally vulnerable. Unfortunately, vulnerability is one of the primary sources of prey on the internet: It’s something that the worst among us can exploit for their own bitter or misogynistic ends.

Those kinds of people don’t have to bother you, though, if you are strong and sure of yourself. One way to become the strong person you want to be is to meet with a spiritual advisor to understand your strengths and weaknesses before diving back into the dating pool. It can help you swim.

Online Dating Tips for Starting Over

When you are ready, here are a few things to keep in mind when you decide to dive back into dating:

Be honest, even if you think others aren’t. Starting an online dating profile is an exercise in temptation. I want to be in better shape and plan to be, so it is okay if I say I already am, right? Sure, a little exaggeration is acceptable. After all, we all put our best foot forward when meeting someone.

We might tell a white lie about pretending to like indie movies when we see nothing but rom coms—but making an aspirational profile will just end up backfiring. You are who you are, and there is nothing to be ashamed of. You are a woman who has been out of the dating arena, and now you are back in. Don’t hide what shouldn’t be hidden.

Don’t think the next date has to be “the one. “You’ve been in a relationship for a long time, and for a lot of people, that means there was a certain comfort in having someone near at all times, even if the romance was gone. We are social creatures, and we get used to people. We get used to having someone there in the morning.

When online dating after a divorce, it is easy to say, “Well, I don’t see a long future with that guy; he works weird hours.” But you shouldn’t let that stop you. This isn’t about “he might be the one.” It’s about giving yourself a chance to rediscover who you are when you are dating.

You don’t have to meet a spouse right away. Nor should you believe that that’s the goal. If you do, you’ll put too much pressure on yourself and will never get started.

Don’t take rejection personally. So many people are just flipping through and making snap judgements. You might be doing the same. Others may have more solid reasons. It’s easy to think that any rejection is a reflection of you, but that is a non-empathetic way of looking at it.

Remember that many people are in the same situation you are in. They might be scared, frightened of rejection, or nervous about acceptance. Maybe they are new to this.

Everyone has their own story, and it doesn’t always revolve around you. Shake off rejection and keep moving forward. If you are confident in yourself, it shouldn’t bother you.

Don’t take the jerks personally. You’ve probably heard that online dating can be a cruel world in which bitter and petty people take out their anger on a whole gender and abuse you with names if you have the audacity to turn them down. Unfortunately, that can be true. It’s not many people, but that doesn’t mean it isn’t shocking and sickening when it happens to you.

On many sites, you can report someone for verbal abuse, but remember: It isn’t about you personally. It has nothing to do with you as a person. Don’t let it throw you off from discovering yourself. You shouldn’t let anyone define you, much less the creepiest and the smallest.

Go slow—you aren’t part of the on-demand economy. When online dating, there is a lot of pressure to act. After all, you’ve been matched up with someone, and they are messaging you. But that’s not how it works.

Whether you are using a more relaxed site like eHarmony or Match or a supposed hookup site like Tinder, you are allowed to go at your own pace and turn things down if you want. There isn’t an Uber for dating. You have full agency over your choices, and you can’t let anyone pressure you into anything.

It can be like a normal relationship. You might think that everything has changed, but that’s not totally true. The modality has changed, but not the people. You can go on a date and then talk on the phone a few times before meeting again, just like before. You can talk on the phone first (some people suggest that to get a better feeling — but it is up to you!).

You don’t have to feel pressure to act in any way. You also don’t have to be calm. You can be butterflied and excited and nervous and dreading it and bursting with anticipation at the same time. Human emotions haven’t changed. You don’t have to pretend that we are in a world that is somehow less fraught with excitement, irrationality, and the joy of falling in love.

Be Yourself

The most important tip is to be yourself, and the best way to do that is to know yourself. It can be hard to understand who you are when you’re single if you have been part of a couple for so long.

Even people who are fiercely independent begin to see themselves as part of a pair, even if just out of habit. That’s normal and being cut adrift from that can be jarring.

Talk to a Spiritual Advisor

That’s why so many people turn to spiritual advisors: psychics, tarot readers, astrologers, and more. We can help you discover your fears and your hopes, and how to achieve them. We work with you to understand what you need and what your path is.

We give you the confidence to stretch out, plug in, boot up, and start dating. We work with ancient wisdom to give you the most powerful and important gift of all: the power of self-definition.

Dating has always been a rough world, and the rise of internet-based protection can bring out the worst in people. But it can also bring out the best. Tenderness and kindness still exist, they don’t have to be blotted out by cruelty. You can find the joy and the sweet terror of a new relationship as long as you are true to yourself.

Sleeping may appear like an entirely latent action yet with regards to imparting a bed to your partner, you’re napping style can uncover such a great amount about your relationship. Along these lines, what you do between the sheets matters when you’re being personal as well as when you’re getting those daily Z’s, as well.

Check out some of the most common sleeping positions, below, to discover interesting new insight into your bond with your significant other.

Facing Each Other                                                             
You two are super connected, not just physically but emotionally. This position allows you to look into each other’s eyes before you close them for the night, and then gaze at each other again first thing in the morning. If the eyes are the window to the soul, as the phrase goes, you definitely take full advantage of this. You love each other deeply and continue to crave feeling that special connection you have.

Embracing Each Other
For the super passionate—or newly coupled—this position is quite the norm. Sleeping wrapped up in each other’s arms indicates commitment, love and devotion, no doubt about that. (However, in some ways, this position may also suggest just the slightest twinge of clinginess, especially if there’s an expectation that you should sleep like this.)

If this used to be your go-to sleep style in the beginning of your relationship, when things were exciting and fresh, but you rarely sleep this way anymore, this change isn’t a big deal. At some point, you started prioritizing a good night’s rest over having to deal with the all-too-common side effect of this sleep style: waking up with super painful and tingly dead-arm in the middle of the night.

Spooning
Many couples may start the night like this, or roll over in the morning to cuddle, which suggests happiness and tenderness. Holding your partner, and being held, causes your bodies to release the feel-good hormone oxytocin, making you both feel totally blissed out. Both long-term and new couples alike may enjoy the sweetness of this position, whether they sleep all night this way or just spoon briefly.

Head-on-Chest
This position suggests a feeling of comfort and nurture, with one person passively lying on the other. The partner who’s being laid on is a pillar of strength and stability, while the partner who’s doing the lying may be more differential and sensitive. By being the yin to the other’s yang, this sleep style indicates compatibility: You each bring something unique to your relationship that fulfills the other’s needs.

Back-to-Back

It’s easy to label this position as not as passionate as the others—after all, what’s romantic about two people who supposedly love each other retreating to opposite sides of the bed? But, really, sleeping back-to-back is quite benign and shouldn’t be looked at as sign of a lack of intimacy.

Rather, you both respect each other’s needs for sleep, and space, when needed, recognizing that sometimes it’s okay to put one’s own comfort first. As long as you do some snuggling, or something more, in your bed, sleeping like this shouldn’t be a cause for concern about the state of your relationship.

It seems there’s always been a negative connotation with the word single when it pertains to women who aren’t in a relationship. Being a single lady can unfortunately carry with it the stigma that you’re lonely and incomplete. Of course, that’s definitely not always true, and in many cases, being single can actually be liberating and self-esteem boosting.

In a society that seems to be heavily couple-oriented, being single can often be portrayed as being a terrible thing. What’s a single girl to do aside from being lonely and praying or hoping that prince charming will come sweep her off her feet? Well, this is definitely a myth that needs to be shattered immediately, as being single can actually be a positive thing for the mind, body, and soul.

Burdens on Women

Society has put quite a lot of expectations and burdens on women, leading them to tend to be hard-wired to believe that without a partner, they are incomplete. Often times it doesn’t matter how successful a woman is or how hard she’s worked to make a name for herself, she’s defined by whether or not she’s married or in a relationship. There’re also the many negative connotations used against women who have seemingly been single for a long time or are at a certain age and still single.

Words such as old maids and spinsters are used to shame a woman into thinking that she needs to hurry up and find a partner before her biological clock stops ticking or that she has to have a partner to feel whole.

Being Single and Free

These negative stigmas that seem to follow single women don’t have to come to fruition though. There are so many positive and reasons why being single can actually be a good and freeing thing. And once you can come to terms with being happy in the single life, the more likely you’ll be to carry that happiness and positive self-awareness when you actually do find partner.

Being single means having the freedom to do whatever you want. Without the responsibilities of having to take care of family and giving your attention to your partner, you’re free to get out there and explore the endless possibilities that await. And that definitely doesn’t sound like a negative thing.

You have the ability to come and go as you please and spend your time doing things you enjoy. Whether you decide to exercise your freedom with meditation, prayer, or just enjoying the excitement of discovering a new hobby, you have that freedom to do so because of your choice of being single. Of course, that doesn’t mean that having a partner means you can’t do any of these types of things, but it does limit it to a certain extent.

The bottom line here is that there is a positive effect to having the freedom of not having to answer to anyone other than yourself, and it allows you to not only try new things but discover new things about yourself as a person as well.

One of the most important things to remember while you’re out there living the single life is to not let yourself be burdened with the negativity that others will try to throw at you in regards to not having a partner.

The more you embrace the positive sides to being single, the more confidence you’ll gain when it comes to eventually actually finding the right partner. So, cherish that single life while you’ve got it. Embrace it and cast off those negative notions that being single equates to being lonely. Because once you finally do find that partner, it will be all the more satisfying since you learned to embrace the freedom of your single status in a positive way.

RELATIONSHIPS. PARTNERSHIPS & EVERYTHING ELSE IN BETWEEN

There are many single people who are vehemently against marriage. They do want to have happy and fulfilled relationships but do not want to commit out of fear that their relationship won’t work out.  Statistics prove that this is a reasonable assumption.

It does take a large leap of faith to commit yourself to marriage.  You must have a great deal of self-confidence as well as trust in your partner

How to Build Faith

A woman whose marriage had dissolved wanted to marry again, but she was reluctant to follow her heart out of fear that it wouldn’t work out.   Her partner was emotionally available and wasn’t really interested in marriage.   By staying in a relationship with him, she was settling for less than her heart’s desire.  This woman didn’t discard her want for marriage, but she did do some ground work on what it takes to make a solid, fulfilling marriage.

Having a Fulfilled Marriage

She started listening to experts on relationships and learned that couples should stay committed to courting each other by going on dates and even little getaways. She learned how to talk to a partner constructively and positively and how to resolve conflicts as they arise.

Listening to Marital Advice

She made friends with people who are in successful marriages and heeded their advice about successful partnerships.  She learned to pursue her interests and do things that she enjoyed. She learned that she could make platonic friendships with men who had similar view points as she and that she didn’t have to settle for less than what she wanted.

Understanding Your Dating Pattern

Once she recognized that she was in a pattern of pursuing unavailable men, she sought help from a therapist who helped her see that she was pushing away potential husbands out of fear of failure.  After she recognized this, she was still unsure, so she set out to seek spiritual advice.  She learned that there was no such thing as 100% success when it comes to marriage. She learned that she could possibly achieve 97% and to work on that goal.

She built a foundation for a good, solid marriage by changing her perception, knowing herself and not expecting complete success.  This helped her gain faith in herself and in marriage.

Getting Married

When you want to get married, you have to understand that relationships are a lot of work. It takes time, communication, and willpower to be in good relationships. Good relationships always take some kind of work and if you are willing to work hard and to open up your heart, you can find someone that will make a good marriage partner.

Even though marriages do not always work out, do your best to be in relationships that are full of faith and love and you will eventually find the perfect partner for yourself.

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Your relationship with your family and close friends are important, as well as your relationship with your partner. There are things that your family can give you, but your partner can’t and vice versa. The reality is this, your friends and family at times cross the line between you and your partner. It happens because YOU allow them to. Are you feeling stressed out by meddlesome friends and family? Here are four ways to protect your romantic relationship.

Set Boundaries 

Certain topics should be off limits, like how many times you have sex in a week, or how much your new partner makes at their job. Whatever questions or discussions make you or your partner uncomfortable are off the table, so be sure to stop any friends or loved ones—the first time they ask—who are being too curious. If you don’t stop them, you risk bad feelings and resentment down the road, and you don’t want your partner to have negative feelings towards you, your friends, or your loved ones.

Don’t Share Everything
It’s really easy to turn to friends and family when your partner’s choices and faults have got you stressed. But what happens once you’ve unburdened yourself? You feel better, forgive your partner, and ultimately forget that you were frustrated.

The thing is, your friends and family don’t feel better, don’t forgive, and don’t forget. You’ve just dumped a lot of drama in their laps and what you’ve said will definitely impact how they view your significant other going forward. How about keeping your fears, concerns and frustrations between you and your partner instead.

Simply Say No
If you are the type of person who has a hard time saying no, you will feel torn between your family, friends and your significant other. Learn balance. If you love your family, spend time with them—but not to the point that you neglect your significant other. And spend time with your significant other—but not to the point that you neglect your family. If one side is too demanding of your time, learn to say no.

Learn to Live Without Consent
You are an adult, and you can make your own decisions. If you love your partner, if they make you feel happy and fulfilled, then it shouldn’t matter what your friends or family think. Learn to live without their approval—if they refuse to give it to you. Learn to trust your instincts. If you know you’re with the right person, that’s all that should matter.

Your Loved Ones are Important

Your family and friends are important to you, and that’s why they can have so much influence over you. In fact, they have so much influence that they can ruin your romantic relationships—if you let them. But you have the power to make or break your relationships too.

You and only you have the power to protect your partners or throw them to the wolves. Don’t let outside influences ruin a good thing. If you are mature enough to be in a relationship, then you are mature enough to protect it and keep it whole.

It’s happened.  You’ve met a guy. He might just be the one to get you to stop thinking about your ex.  You have had plenty of time to get over the break up and you feel that you are ready to move on.  Can you move on if you still maintain contact with your ex and maybe even harbor some thoughts of getting back together?

You can’t change what you feel and it’s impossible to disconnect from what your heart wants, especially if you had a special connection with this person. This might keep you from moving on if you hope they can come back into your world.

Karma and Growth

Why do we keep behaving the same way? Why do we keep returning to the same place? Why does this keep happening? This happens because of karma. Karma is the manifestation of lack of growth.

We are on this plane of existence to move past our limitations. It is the goal of our lives to evolve into who we are meant to be as spirits of the highest nature. We can see our lives as both a challenge and an opportunity.  All of our experiences are a gift, a gift to grow through our relationships.

When we met someone to whom we feel connected, that is a karmic mate.  A good relationship will allow both of you to grow together. It is when growth doesn’t happen that the relationship becomes toxic.  This toxicity leads us to leave the relationship.

Moving On

If you leave your relationship with hard feelings of anger and resentment, you leave with bad karma because you haven’t grown. If you don’t get control of your negative feelings, you will set yourself up for a similar relationship. If you don’t learn your lesson the first time, you will repeat it.

You can move past this.

Meditate on this mantra:

• Bless them for what they brought me.
• Bless them for what they taught me.

Try saying this mantra each day so that you can prepare your mind, body, and soul for what you are going through. Realize that you have learned a lesson but that it is time to move forward. Realize that you learned your lesson and that you are ready to move past all of the pain and hurt and to start something new.

Once you make peace with this, you can let go of your ex without pain.  Once this has happened, you have released this lesson and your karma will change.  You will be able to move on. Asking yourself what you need to learn from the relationship can help you move on. Once you have acknowledged your growth, you can, indeed, move on.

Online dating can feel intimidating. The initial setup of your profile can sometimes make you feel pressured to make it perfect. But here’s a secret: there is no such thing as a perfect profile. No matter what you put out there on the Internet, you’ve just got to stay true to yourself. That authenticity will shine through when the right person reads it.

However, I get asked a lot what a “good” profile looks like, so I wanted to supply some tips today that may help you when you’re getting started.

People Really Meet Their Soulmates Online

I’m proud to say I met my husband (my soulmate) on an Internet dating site. It’s been eight years and we’re going strong. I know for a fact that we would have never met otherwise. But this article isn’t about me; it’s about you! I’m going to help you meet the love of your life on the Internet, because they are out there! Check out my tips for creating the best Internet dating site profile.

Depending on the dating site, there are several featured elements to work on, but I’m going to touch on the big ones all the sites share: your pictures, your stats, and your biography.

Your Picture

You should use recent photos of yourself. Before you roll your eyes at me, just know that plenty of people don’t use recent pictures. I once went out with a guy whose profile picture was 15 years old. In it, he posed with a dog. By the time we started talking online that dog had been dead for 10 years!

Don’t use pictures from high school or even ones that are six months old. In fact, take new pictures of yourself for your dating profile. Take head-to-toe pictures of yourself, take headshots, and include pictures of yourself doing some of your favorite activities.

If you’re athletic, include an action shot. If you like animals, include a picture of you with your pet. Don’t use Photoshop to make your pictures more flattering. Don’t add more hair on the top of your head or slim your body down. If you want to meet someone and have a relationship, you need to present who you really are, and that includes what you really look like.

Your Stats

Your stats may include your age, body type, religion, political views, income, and what kind of relationship you’re looking for. Like your picture, you need to be completely honest here too because you’re going to meet someone great and if you want the relationship to last, you can’t lie to them. Don’t answer these questions based on who you’d like to be some day; answer them based on who you are right now. If you’re lying, you’re going to be found out eventually.

In my Internet dating experience, I find most people lie about what they look like, if they’ve been married before, whether they have kids or not and what type of relationship they’re really looking for. Unfortunately, there are a lot of sweet talkers out there who are just looking for a hookup. Don’t get involved in that if that’s not what you truly want.

This section is really important because your potential mates are trying to see if you’d be a good fit for them. Don’t lie in order to get more people interested in you. You’ll end up getting your heart broken!

Your Bio

This is your opportunity to talk about who you are in more detail. Think about your most appealing qualities and give details about them in this section. Talk about your hobbies and why you like them. Tell a potential mate what’s lovable about you.

Don’t be negative. I don’t care how many times you’ve had your heart broken; don’t use your bio to rant and rave about how poorly your last ex treated you. This is your opportunity to move on to someone better! Don’t waste this space being bitter and angry.

Talk about what kind of person you’re looking for. You can talk about looks if you have a particular type but spend more of this space talking about what kind of person your soulmate should be. Do you want to be with someone adventurous? Do you want to be with someone who’s excited to start a family? Think about your ideal mate and describe them here.

Your Dating Mantra

You should keep this mantra in mind as you navigate the waters of Internet dating: “There is someone amazing out there for me.” And there is. I don’t care if you’re 40 pounds heavier than you’d like to be or haven’t completed your college or high school degree—there are people out there who will not only accept you, but they will also love you for who you are, at this exact moment in time. You don’t have to be perfect to deserve or find love. You just have to be ready, positive, open-minded, and honest!

Not all relationships involving soulmates have a fairy tale ending.   Just because you are in a relationship with your soulmate doesn’t mean it’s perfect.  No relationship is perfect.

You and your soulmate have a cosmic connection and things flow together seamlessly, but in time your life’s journey with its challenges and lessons may create problems because of your other relationships.  If you and your partner cannot move past the past, it will be too hard to keep moving forward together in the future.

Healthy Relationships

If you have the three c’s- chemistry, compatibility, and communication you can have healthy relationship. Just one block of just one of these components can create a rift in any romance. Your soul connection may be able to recover from this rift, but you have to face that it may not.

Knowing When Things Go Wrong

Not every relationship will be healthy and not every relationship will be good. Learn to take time and sit back and see when things are starting to go sour. Do not expect every relationship to be perfect but when there are more bad times than good times, it might be time to move on.

Moving On

If the partnership with your soulmate dissolves, how can you move on? Take the time to focus on yourself away from the relationship. Don’t let regret and pain hold you back. Let yourself heal alone and perhaps in the future you will be able to mend the rift. If you put yourself in charge of your soul and your own journey, eventually you will see the sense of it.

Finding the Real You

As you learn to heal and move forward from a relationship, find out who you really are. People often get stuck in a relationship and think that they have to be who their partner “created” them to be, and this is not so. You are your own person, be your own person and find out what you like, and you don’t like as a single person.

Some Hope

If you take the steps to protect and heal your soul, your partner may see the problems honestly. They may gain the clarity to work on their own journey which may be just what leads you back together.  Don’t let them go to heal your relationship, let your partner go to heal yourself.  The distance may help your relationship, but you should put yourself first.

You Can Have Soulmates

It is largely unknown that a person can have more than one soulmate.  When people refer to the love of their life, they forget what a journey life can be. You can have more than one great love and you can have more than one soulmate.  If your life isn’t over, you can go on to find another love and find another mate that will help nourish your soul on your life journey.

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