Is an Arranged Marriage Suitable for You?

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Arranged Marriage

It is almost unheard of in our modern society, but some marriages are set up by the families of a young couple.  The parents of the couple agree to meet and then introduce the bride and groom to each other. In a sharp contrast to olden times, this couple is allowed to converse and decide if they want to commit to the marriage.

Years ago, the couples in the arranged marriage had little to no input and frequently did not even meet until the wedding day. As we all know, each and every relationship needs to adjust, and compromises have to be made so that the couple can move forward.  A question that comes is how long the initial flurries of flirtation and excitement can last, and do we put too much stock and value in these things.

Marriage based on Love

Some people are raised on the idea that a successful marriage is based on a magical love experience.  This sets us up for a serious disappointment.  Marriage is hard work and definitely challenging, even if you are a good match with your partner.  This probably comes from the fact that too often people commit to a partnership based largely on chemistry and sexual compatibility. Thus, when the initial stages of a marriage are over, the couple is left with the harsh reality of day-to-day life together.

Arranged Marriage

So is it settling to disregard sexual chemistry and let someone make the choice for you.  Is there such a thing as good enough when it comes to marriage.  Can family take the struggle out of the equation for you?  Something that is becoming increasingly more common is the consultation of a matchmaker to help find a life partner.

Obviously for this to work a great deal of trust must be placed in the matchmaker and the client must be open to the idea of marriage as a process and work on building trust and a marriage.

Comparatively speaking

Research has shown that most love marriages have a few ups and downs during the first decade of the partnerships.  This may be because it is within the first few years of togetherness the shine comes off the marriage and people get down to the business of living.

Conversely, in the arranged marriage, love and happiness truly blooms somewhere around the first five years.  As the couple gets to know each other, they can fall in love without the blur of hormones blinding them to the maintenance of their marriage.

What about divorce?

In the case of the arranged marriage, it is harder to give up on a relationship. This is because a considerable amount of investment has gone into putting the partnership together, so the couple has many other things to consider. These influences can help a couple make the decision to work out things between themselves.

Could an arranged marriage be for you?

Consulting a matchmaker or asking your parents to find you a match is not the way to resolve your life just because you are having trouble finding a match by dating.  An arranged marriage does have the components of a successful marriage by finding a partner for you that is compatible on other areas of your life instead of fixating on physical attraction.