There are some basic guidelines that you can follow in order to determine if you should continue on a path with them, or if you should let them go.
1 – They’re Willing to Meet in Person (when it feels right).
This may seem obvious but with today’s forms of dating apps, social media and general Internet communication methods, meeting in person seems to often get put to the side and worse, used as an excuse not to meet in person within a reasonable period of time. If someone is truly into you they will not only want to see you but they will not be able to wait too long to do so. Granted, sometimes distance or finances can hold up the process of meeting in person but when someone wants to accomplish something, they won’t allow things to stand in the way forever.
Be smart about meeting too. Make sure you are meeting when it feels right and ALWAYS meet in a public location the first time! If someone new is TOO aggressive about meeting in person, they might not be all they claim to be on-line.
2 – They’re Responsive.
Do you often feel you might be too needy or have too high of expectations? When both people are excited about the other, then there is no such thing as “too” needy, or “too” high of expectations. Both people will enjoy talking to the other, respond to texts, e-mails, and return phone calls (people still do talk on the phone these days, right?) Unless you are expecting the other person to check in with you every time they make a move, you are not being “too” anything and should be getting communication not only in return but the other person should be initiating as well (see #5 below for more on that.)
3 – They’re Consistent.
If he or she is truly the one, then they should be consistent with their communication. Long breaks in speaking, e-mails, or texts is a bad sign, regardless of their reason. We make time in our day for the things and people important to us and there is no excuse for a long absence in communication. Give them the benefit of the doubt if it happens once, but if you sense a pattern, it is likely a behavior that is not going to change or improve.
4 – They Show Respect.
The way in which a person talks to you speaks volumes! Whether you communicate in person or other means you should be shown respect and consideration of your feelings and thoughts. Just as you should be mindful of their time allowed for communication and keep expectations reasonable, they too should be considerate of your need for communication.
When someone is truly into you they will make the effort and take time to reach out to you. You should never be the one doing all of the work in a relationship. When someone is into you they will initiate communication, arrange dates, and ask for time with you. Be sure that you allow them time to do so and are not overly aggressive or you could end up feeling they fail to initiate when you are not allowing them a chance to initiate first. Find that healthy middle ground!
The key to knowing if someone is truly the one is BALANCE.
Both people should equally be doing their share of the work in building a healthy relationship and no one should ever feel an absence of the other reaching out or being present.