As married life moves forward and kids and bills start to take center stage, many couples struggle to maintain their initial state of contentment beyond the first year. But, just because the wedding is long over doesn’t mean the newlywed bliss has to go, too. As a newlywed, I’d like to share with you my tips for maintaining newlywed bliss.
How Problems Start
If something is bothering you, you need to bring it out into the open and face it head on. Problem start when the issues that arise are not dealt with! Sure, it’s easier to keep quiet and hope that things will improve on their own, but this never works. Actually, it’s the perfect way to let things fester and build resentment. One or both of you will also feel like your needs aren’t being met. That’s when the derogatory digs start and you won’t want to be around one another.
Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff
Don’t sweat the small stuff and be sure to let the little things go. It’s inevitable you will get on each other’s nerves, or one will want to control the other, but pick your battles and ask yourself if all the fighting and hurt feelings are worth having your way.
Discuss Finances and Family
Ideally, you should discuss your finances and your families before you get married. Talk about a budget, bills, debts and major purchases to make together. Talk about the role your families will play in your life together. Do you both want to have children? All short- and long-term goals should be discussed. It’s good to go into a marriage already knowing the answers to these questions.
Don’t Put Them Down in Front of Others
Resist the temptation to put your partner down in front of others. If they’ve angered or disappointed you, you need to discus the matter in private. Dragging family or friends into your business will only give them a negative impression of your spouse, and they may be more reluctant than you to forgive them.
When fighting with your partner, don’t make general statements and accuse them of always or never doing something. Don’t bring up old business just to weaken their argument. Don’t jump in you car and speed away just to see if they’ll follow you. The old adage is true: People may not remember what you said, but they’ll always remember how you made them feel.
Go to your separate corners and take a breath. You’ll relax with some alone time and it will help you put things into perspective. When you’re ready, tell your spouse you love them, you hate fighting and you’re sorry you hurt them. They should say the same things to you.
Don’t Take Them for Granted
Never take your spouse for granted. Tell them you love them. Compliment them when they have done a great job, and make them feel appreciated. It doesn’t take much to keep a relationship happy. But remember, healthy and happy relationships don’t just happen. They require constant work and effort. The day you married that person was a happy day, and you can keep that bliss going for years if you make the effort, have patience and practice love.