One big issue common to countless romantic relationships between men and women is, “Does he ever listen to me?”

It’s common for a wife to complain, “My husband never listens to me!” Or for a girlfriend to vent to her best friends, “My boyfriend never pays attention to what I tell him!” Or for an engaged woman, who’s been discussing wedding plans with her fiancé for months, to ask him a question about a detail they’d discussed earlier, and he has no clue what she’s asking about!

Did he listen to anything she said?

Here are seven common issues men may have when it comes to listening to their romantic partner, along with some easy pointers about how women can address these common issues.

She talks too much. Often, women have so much to say that the pertinent facts get lost in the details of the story. If a man has to listen to his girlfriend gush about that cute top she saw at the store, how her sister is expecting a baby, and that she had a rotten day at work just to find out what’s for dinner, he can be left completely overwhelmed by the end of the saga and wonder what just hit him.

So, try to keep it short. Don’t roam on about every little thing, especially if you’ve noticed that he has little interest in frivolous details.

He’s heard it all before. A man may think there’s nothing new to hear, so he automatically tunes out mid-sentence. According to him, it’s just old wine in a new bottle.

When you have to go into detail, try to make it interesting to him. Grab his attention with a new anecdote or a funny story he hasn’t heard before.

She’s nagging. One of the commonest complaints men have is that their partners nag them. Since they’re used to the general trend, they think there’s nothing different about what she’s going on about this time around.

Stop being predictable. Don’t get on him and nag about the same old stuff. If he hasn’t gotten the message by now, it’s time to change your stance or get him to move his butt by trying a new approach.

He doesn’t like to be controlled. Men feel that if they listen to a woman to follow her instructions, it’s a sign that he’s putty in her hands, and she’ll take undue advantage of the situation. Once he gives in to her demands, he’ll be her puppet on a string.

When you want him to listen and follow through on instructions, don’t order him around. Ask him nicely and check to see if he’s understanding what you’ve told him. Finally, act as if the ultimate decision rests with him.

There are more pressing matters. If a woman is trying to talk while a man is doing something he considers more important, like watching the end of a football game, the last thing he wants to do is turn off the TV and tune in to his partner.

Don’t even try talking to him when he’s got the TV on. Eliminate all distractions or wait until the game’s over before you start having your say.

He has a short attention span. Often, men can’t keep their focus on what a woman is saying for too long. They rarely have the patience to give a woman their listening ear.

So, when you’re talking, try and get him to maintain eye contact with you. That way, if his mind starts to go off on a rabbit trail, you’ll see it by the glazed or wandering look in his eyes. Call his attention back onto you before continuing.

The topic is of little interest to him. If she insists on raving to him about the designer watch her boss’ wife was sporting, or the chandelier earrings her friend’s rich boyfriend surprised her with, that may be something a man has little to no interest in hearing.

Stay alert and pause at suitable intervals to ensure you have his attention. Avoid monologues and give him a chance to have his say too. Actively seek his opinion and ask him for relevant feedback, so that you know he’s not just physically present while his mind is elsewhere.

These easy tips will make the common issues of men listening to women easy to address. They can help the woman he loves become the one he’ll always listen to even when he is busy with his own stuff.

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Something you should consider when you are wondering if you should give someone who has hurt you another chance is whether or not you have been given a second opportunity.

There are certain instances where second chances are not possible. There are also occasions when a second chance could and should be given.  Before you decide to completely move on, you should take a look at a few reasons to forgive.

Someone else is part of your decision

Think for a moment if you are at all being influenced by a third party who may want you to join them in their situation.  If there is someone in your life who is trying desperately to help you sever ties, they may have an ulterior motive.

You may have given up too quickly

Examine the relationship. Did things just get rough or did something major happen? Sometimes it easier to just walk away rather than iron out the rough spots.  Before you move on, take a minute to see if things can be repaired by a second chance.

Apologies were given.

You know what a sincere apology is.  If you have received one of these and it makes note of the specific offense and how it affected you, then the person involved wants to make amends. This type of sincerity deserves a second chance.

You were also in the wrong

It is entirely possible that you were not completely innocent in the events.   If you said or didn’t say something that ended the relationship, it is possible that you both need and deserve a second chance.  If both parties agree, you can apologize and move on.

There are strong feelings involved. 

Sometimes when a relationship comes to an end, the feelings just don’t disappear.  If, after a significant amount of time passes and you still have these feelings, you may want to consider giving a second chance. Just be sure that these feelings are healthy.

Is change possible or probable?

How likely is it that the person will change or want to fix things? Will they be willing or able to make the kind of improvement that will work in your relationships favor? If so, a second chance is warranted.

There were circumstances working against their favor

We all know that life can get in the way. Sometimes problems such as family and finances can wear down both parties and one decides to walk away.  If the problems involved survival and unforeseen challenges, they may need and deserve a second chance.

Children are involved

Sometimes there are some relationships that you can’t just let dissolve. This is usually because children are a factor.  As you know, every parent’s decision affects the children.  This means that the relationship between the parents should be taken into considerations. If this relationship has dwindled, an effort should be made to give a second chance or at least repair the situation.

Life is far too short to simply move away from a quality relationship because a wrong has been done. If there is any way to forgive and move on, you should consider giving it a try.  If there is truly a meeting of the minds and genuine feeling, you should give a second chance.

You have probably heard the old cliche about nothing lasting forever.  But what if you had a way to make your man fall for you over and over and over?

It’s not a secret that guys don’t like a routine or a set pattern. The do enjoy having someone who keeps them guessing and makes them work for their attention. They love a bit of a challenge. Here are a few ways to leave a lasting and vivid impression.

• After a brief tryst, don’t overburden him with information and get him out the door as soon as possible.
• Don’t let him know that you would like a relationship. Instead steer him in the opposite direction.
• Once you have dismissed him, begin to reveal a little about yourself. Chances are he will start trying to draw you in.
• Pull away when you see him start to pursue you, but just a little. Some guys relish the thrill of the chase. Pulling back will definitely get their interest.
• Be strange. A wild card is intriguing, and people will wonder what you will do next.
• Pick a unique location for your date. Choose something that he will find exciting or just a little scary.  The fear response is very close to love
• Keep him guessing about your feelings. Let him know in subtle ways that you are being pursued by others.
• Hold back if he suddenly cancels plans. If he acts like he doesn’t care, show him that you don’t either.
• Tell him about your ex but do not overdo it.
• Let him know what you are looking for but don’t be overly detailed on the first date.
• Show some interest but don’t let him think you are throwing yourself at him.
• Text him back if he texts you but don’t always be the one texting first.
• Do not always be available when he calls you. Show him that you are busy and that you have other plans.
• Make plans with other people and do not cancel on them just to go out on a date with him.

Don’t be afraid to let him see he you check out other men. Do this carefully and not at all once you are in a relationship. A little bit of jealousy and playing hard to get will go a long way.

Conclusion

Making a man fall in love with you takes a little time and patience. Learn to love yourself and then others will fall for this and love you back.

Be strong and confident and get what you want in life and in dating. Do not give in and become attached to just anyone but make sure that you keep your values and standards high when it comes to love and dating.

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If you want to be successful in dating, body language is everything. It’s more important even than your physical appearance. Solid body language is the best way to make a strong first impression and get him or her to notice you for the right reasons, so its importance can hardly be understated. Here are some basic but essential tips to help you sharpen your body language:

Eye Contact

In any social situation, eye contact is an important tool for connecting with other people. Looking into someone’s eyes signals that you’re present, you’re listening, and you’re open to creating a relationship.

By contrast, looking away (especially at your phone) while someone is speaking with you can be a sign that you don’t care or aren’t interested. Also, it’s super rude. That’s why eye contact is a key body language tactic for dating if you really want to show someone, you’re ready for more.

Bite Your Lower Lip

A little bit coy, a little bit sexy, this move is especially enticing. It’s flirtatious without being overtly forward and works especially well if you’re a woman. Try it and find out for yourself.

Play With Your Hair

This one is typically more of a female thing—as some guys don’t really have enough hair to do this—and it’s another coy signal of flirtation. Playing with your hair works exceptionally well if you have long luscious locks that your potential partner likely wants to run his or her fingers through.

Graze Their Thigh or Arm

Brushing your hand against your date’s thigh or arm is a harmless way to get some physical contact without being inappropriate. He or she will know that you’re interested on a more carnal level while you’re still keeping everything playful and light.

Uncross Your Arms

Having your arms folded over your chest is a clear signal of standoffishness. Even if you don’t mean to come off as closed off, holding this position will send that message. Be aware of your arm placement and make sure they stay loose at your sides or gently folded on the table in front of you.

Body Language, the Universal Language

Remember, body language is something that most people can understand. When someone smiles, we know that they are happy and when someone is frowning, we know they are sad. The way that you control your body language can tell your potential date or your partner about what you are feeling.

Always be aware of what kind of body language you are giving out to those that are around you so that you can be sure not to run off someone that you hope to have more time with.

True romance is a gamble. While some relationships seem to materialize without any effort, many require us to step outside our comfort zones. Some of us fall for people who seem too good to be true, only to discover they really are too good to be true. Others are intimidated by the idea of taking salsa dance lessons or going on a blind date set up by your brother’s roommate’s cousin to find that “special someone.”

But the important thing is to keep trying. Here are some places you may have been overlooking as you seek romance:

Online

For the past decade, online dating has experienced a seismic shift from cautious to widespread acceptance. More than 50 percent of Americans know someone who met their partner over the internet through online dating. A similar percentage recommends dating sites as a viable, respectable way to meet other singles. Besides online dating sites don’t overlook general social media as an avenue to find romance with someone that has similar interests to yours.

Mutual Friends

While some couples do still meet through mutual friends, this trend is also dramatically changing. Fewer couples have been meeting through friends over the last 20 years. Many singles automatically rule out the option of being set up with someone through “that” friend who always seems to know someone who’d be “perfect for you! “

And don’t forget that when you make a new friend, you’re not just linked to them, but to their entire social network including their family, friends, and co-workers. All those warnings aside, your friends may know best!

At Work

Though they can be complicated, office relationships still do happen. Even star employees can make the most out of an office romance while continuing stellar performance on the job. Open conversation by offering compliments when deserved or offering help when needed. But always remain aware of your company’s employee handbook or list of policies, which may state that employees aren’t allowed to be romantically involved.

Around Town

Being anywhere outside of your home increases the chances you’ll make interpersonal connections and meet someone new. Go out and spend time in cafes, libraries, and other local hangouts around town. Does your town have a sports team? Become a fan. A book club? Sign up. Biking or running groups? Join in! Bird-watching? Video-gaming? Whatever your interests, find a way get involved. It’s the perfect opportunity to make connections with new people. Those connections may even evolve into something more.

At School

Many couples also still meet at school. Whether the school is large or small, it generally includes people of similar age and background to yours. Some couples only see each other at school. With little time to spend together outside the classroom, trying to be romantic may be a daunting task. But don’t be discouraged. Romance can be created anywhere, even at school. You don’t always need a romantic setting to be romantic.

Anyone who has ever been disappointed in a relationship knows how hard it is to find the “right” person. Making yourself date-able is only half the battle. The other half is knowing where to make that fateful connection.

Marriage is hard work and there is no guarantee that it will be a success. As hard as it is to realize, the early days of blissful romance do not last forever.   But as hard work is its own rewards, an investment in a marriage will yield many benefits.

The things that are most vital to a relationship are communication and connection and intimacy.  The connection helps you feel close to your partner.  This is because your shared values as well as a concern for your needs brings you together.

Communication skills are also important because it helps you understand each other as well as making yourself understood. The vulnerability that accompanies intimacy helps trust evolve and grow. All of these things are generally present when a couple gets married.  Can it be sustained over years? It can if you build in good habits for a good marriage.

Show your partner you are happy to see them.

Really express your love when you see your partner.  Give them a warm embrace along with your full attention and let them know how glad you are to be next to them. Not only is this a physical sign of your love, but it also helps release oxytocin which is a hormone that helps you bond with your partner.

Always be grateful

When you retire for the night, be sure you show your appreciation for something your partner has done for you.  You can even leave a little note for them. This expression of gratitude is a sign of your appreciation and reinforces your own feelings of love.

Be empathetic

Instead of being a “right fighter” and fixating on your side of an argument, take a minute to see their side of the issue.   Take a minute to actually hear and restate their concerns. It is absolutely all right to ask them to do the same

Listen mindfully

Listen to your partner when they are upset. Do not try to fix their problem. Just listen. Many times, they just want someone to hear their point of view. Ask them what they need from you.  Sometimes it’s just a kind ear.

Sweet nothings matter

There are certain things your partner needs to hear from you. These are those words that make them feel valued and loved.  Once you know what these words are, let them hear them from you often. These words are the fuel that will help keep your romance going.

Memories are important.

Share your memories with each other.  Tell them about the things you always think about when they are thinking of you.  Share these thoughts with them. These happy moments will help strengthen the bond between you.

Don’t be afraid of change

Change happens. It’s the only constant in life.  Talk to each other about change in each other’s lives, keep an open mind and an understanding heart. Ask them for their impressions of the change in each other.

Share your dreams

If you feel that you have lost touch with each other, ask them what their dreams and hopes are.  Once again, be open and honest.  Listen to what they are saying without jumping to conclusions.  Ask them what they would like to achieve over the next several years.  Perhaps ask what you can do to help them reach their goals.

Remember that partnership means both of you. Any partnership needs attention and work to survive.  Do not ever stop trying or stop listening to what your partner needs or wants.  This doesn’t have to be hard work. Just a few words and hugs can keep a romance alive and growing.

Dating someone new after a divorce can be a difficult decision to make. Whether your marriage lasted for decades or only a short time, you’ll find that the dating scene is always evolving. Follow these six tips on how to deal with dating after a divorce for a happier and healthier you.

Love Yourself

Divorce is never easy, and you may come out of yours feeling less than great about yourself and everyone around you. Put yourself first and create situations where you know you’ll feel good. Book a spa appointment, take a girls’ weekend, or tackle the redecoration project you’ve been putting off.

Forget About Your Ex

If you find yourself thinking about your ex too much, whether it’s wondering who he’s with or what he’s doing, take steps to move on and focus on more productive thoughts. If you can’t move past your ex, it’s not fair to consider a relationship with a potential new partner. A love psychic can help you think through and work past issues with your ex.

Explore New Things

This is the perfect time to give yourself another chance. Try new things and open yourself up to new experiences. Give yourself a goal of trying just one new thing each month, whether it’s a class or an activity group, and see where it leads you. Chances are you’ll like at least some of the new things you try, and you may unintentionally meet a new friend or romantic interest along the way.

Be True and Prepared

First dates and new relationships come with many getting-to-know-you questions. Previous relationships and divorce are sure to come up as you become acquainted, and it’s best to have simple, straightforward answers ready. Remember that it’s only fair to share the truth, but your date doesn’t need or want to hear the dirty details.

Build a Support System

A solid support system is critical to your emotional and mental wellbeing, and it can be important for your sense of safety, too. Your support system might include a trusted friend or two who join you when you try new things, or it can include a confidante who you check in with a few times a week. Build your system in a way that works best for you and be sure to get the support you need.

Prepare To Take Risks

Once you’ve gotten over lingering ex issues, consider going on a date as practice for future relationships. Even if you’re not ready for something serious, it’s important to relearn what it’s like to be around someone new. Use this as an opportunity to meet new people and get comfortable putting yourself out there.

Treat this as a chance to boost your self-confidence, too, as you work on improving yourself for your own sake as well as that of a potential partner. If you do meet someone special, an authentic psychic can tell you if he’s the one.  Dating after a divorce is fraught with many challenges. Approach dating thoughtfully and with an open mind to find the most enjoyment in your new life.

Have you noticed that when you are doing something that you are passionate with, time seems to just pass while taking your fears and worries with it? Or how, after accomplishing something, the artists are blooming and inspired? Maybe you’ve even experienced the flow of love or sexual energy after spoiling in a creative endeavor. This is not a misconception: Having a creative hobby that you are passionate about– whether it’s cooking, dance, or visual art — is a great way to practice self-love, strengthen your second and fourth chakras, and generally have a juicier life.

And the juicier we feel about ourselves, the more visible we are to potential partners. Creative play makes us more attractive, creates receptivity in the field and “attraction” chakras, as well as cultivates all-important self-love.

How Creativity Affects the Energy Field

Our aura, or energy field, is one of the main points of attraction between us and another. This is true for any kind of relationship. Though you may not be able to see auras with your naked eye, your own energetic antennae will pick up the vibration of another’s field. We’ve all felt this, and whatever is present in our aura will be sensed by others as well. So, it makes sense that when we are feeling the pleasure of artistic endeavor, our field becomes “shinier” and more attractive.

Two chakras in particular, the second and fourth, contribute to the receptivity and “good vibes” in our energy field. The second, or sacral chakra governs our feelings, sexuality, creativity, and self-love. As one of the lower chakras, it is instinctual and primal.

The fourth chakra, or heart center, governs our love for others and how we give and receive love. Both of these chakras are stimulated by the creative process and are essential to have at maximum operation if you want to attract love and passion that is in alignment with your true self.

Creativity, Self-Love, and Attraction

Creativity is a primal and essential part of being human. It is related to the procreation — the connection to the second chakra. Creative work strengthens self-love via the surrender to the creative process. As you immerse yourself in doing something that brings you joy, endorphins and other neurotransmitters are released by the brain. This allows relaxation and a sense of well-being — all of which help you to attract a love that is good for you.

Let’s look at a real-world example. Lisa was a visual artist but found it hard to be disciplined around her art. She had a bit of the tortured artist stereotype going on, often thinking: “If I’m an artist, I have to suffer.” We did some energy work around this belief, and she started to have a more positive connection to painting. As she gave time to her art every week, I noticed that overall, she was happier and more relaxed, and was kinder to herself in other ways.

Lisa had also been single for quite a while and had a history of emotionally abusive relationships. I encouraged her to paint through some of her pain and to allow her creative spirit to help her heal. Even though her paintings became quite dark, her aura remained strong and vibrant as she honored her feelings and also her artistic self.

After a few months of commitment to her painting, Lisa met a man at an art opening. He was not her “type,” but because she was open and happier with herself, she was receptive to developing a friendship with him. A few fun outings later, the relationship began to deepen and is healthy. They are both artists and both take time in their busy lives to play with their creative spirit.

Ways to Connect to Your Creativity

Many people protest that they aren’t creative. This isn’t true — it isn’t even possible! But many of my clients are cut off from their creative impulse, and this shows up in sluggish chakras and limited thinking about life in general — including expectations around love.

Our creative muses are always waiting for us. I help clients connect to what might be a good outlet for them through Tarot and intuitive readings. We can also look at the astrological chart to help find innate but perhaps latent talents or divine best directions.

Often, I start by just having the client make a list of what they loved to play and do in childhood. With a bit of thought, people are often surprised to remember that they wrote endless adventure stories as a child, or played dress-up, or loved to make their own comic books. Children are creative, but our original artistic longings often get buried in time.

Janine was a woman in her late 50s who came to me because she felt frustrated in love and in life generally. She had suffered a bitter mid-life divorce and had been a workaholic since. When I looked at her aura, it was clear that her fourth and second chakras were undernourished, and that her relationship to herself had never really bounced back from the divorce. I asked her what her self-love practice was, and she just stared at me.

“I take a bath once in a while, sometimes make myself a nice meal. But — who has time for self-love? I’m not sure I even know what that is!”

We had a few sessions together and discovered that she had a childhood passion for acting out stories. I asked her if she’d like to explore theater. Though she didn’t feel she could commit to auditions, we hit upon the idea of an acting class. A part of her lit up at the thought. Though she was inclined to dismiss it, we made a contract that she would try it out.

The class focused on improvisation and was filled with interesting people of all ages. As Janine came for her sessions, I could see her chakras opening, and her joy was apparent. The class made her laugh and called out her creativity. Because it was a structured event that she paid for, she felt committed to going. This worked better for her than trying to come up with a creative practice at home (which was clearly indicated by her astrological chart).

Janine made new friends in the class and ended up beginning a relationship with her teacher. At our last session, the relationship was blossoming along with Janine’s new respect for her creative self. She has even encouraged her daughter to return to a high school photography hobby.

Do the simple writing exercise above to help you uncover the inner creative spirit that awaits you. As you make time for loving expression of your artistic longing, you will find more joyful relationships entering your life.

In the ever-present age of pressures from social media, television, film, and your peers around you to be perfect, it can prove difficult to be aware of whether or not your taking the time needed to simply slow down and love yourself. And if you’re having a problem with loving yourself, it’s going to then be difficult to give love to your children in return.

Of course, this doesn’t mean that you don’t love your children. But what it does mean is that if you’re ignoring yourself and putting the needs of your children before your mental and physical well-being, it could lead to problems in the future. Simply put…it’s important to take care of and love yourself, which will make giving love to your children easier and more genuine.

A good place to start when trying to be conscience of loving yourself more would be to be less hard on yourself…less judgmental. Of course, parenting is a tough gig, and you’re bound to run into problems and frustrations along the way. The important thing to remember is to not get so down on yourself. If you’re being judgmental towards yourself, that can likely lead to your children learning to be judgmental towards themselves as well. If you treat yourself in an unloving manner, your children will be more likely to do the same themselves, resulting in low self-esteem and a judgmental perception of themselves.

Loving yourself will automatically translate into being a loving parent in return. Taking the time for self-love and awareness will also leave a lasting positive impression on your children. This is why it’s so important to take the time to love yourself. In taking time to love yourself, however, that doesn’t mean you must ignore your child’s needs in favor of your own. It’s about creating a balance. In creating a balance, you can put aside time for yourself and working on your self-love as well as making the time to use that love of self when spending time giving love to your children.

Setting aside time for yourself can be difficult, but that doesn’t mean it’s impossible. Communication is key in any relationship…including one with your children. Let them know that you need a bit of time by yourself for a while. You can suggest they do things to keep themselves busy like reading a book or playing with their siblings in another room. It’s important to be firm with them but also to help them understand that mommy or daddy needs a little break to rest, recharge, and focus on themselves.

As a parent, it’s important to realize that you must learn to respect your own feelings and needs along with the needs and feelings of your children. Understanding that it’s not being selfish if you need some alone time to focus on loving yourself is also a vital key to making sure you take the time to actually do it.

Often times we get caught up in the lives of our children so much so that we forget that we really need to slow it down sometimes and make sure we are taking care of ourselves as well. In taking care of ourselves, we can then use that self-love and give love more freely and genuinely to our children.

So, when it comes to loving yourself and taking the time out needed to effectively do that, remember, it’s not because you’re being selfish or neglecting the needs of others. In fact, in being aware of our need to love ourselves before we can give love to others, we are being self-responsible. And in turn, those who are self-responsible and self-loving have an excellent chance at raising children who will grow up to be caring and personally responsible themselves.

It’s been for a little while since you dated. You were hitched, or in a long haul, submitted relationship, and after that, for unknown reason, it finished. All of a sudden, you wind up in another world in which the standards of dating have changed and you are uncertain how to begin to find new love.

Online dating for women looking to start over can be scary. Any relationship that is older than a smartphone—that is to say, around 10 years or more—is one that started before a great shift occurred in how people meet their love interests. People have been meeting online for longer than that, of course, but as recently as 15 years ago, it was still (unfairly) considered strange. Now, it is normal, and it comes with its own rules and language.

This can be scary to navigate, especially because after leaving a long relationship—one in which you may have thought you’d be in forever—you can be emotionally vulnerable. Unfortunately, vulnerability is one of the primary sources of prey on the internet: It’s something that the worst among us can exploit for their own bitter or misogynistic ends.

Those kinds of people don’t have to bother you, though, if you are strong and sure of yourself. One way to become the strong person you want to be is to meet with a spiritual advisor to understand your strengths and weaknesses before diving back into the dating pool. It can help you swim.

Online Dating Tips for Starting Over

When you are ready, here are a few things to keep in mind when you decide to dive back into dating:

Be honest, even if you think others aren’t. Starting an online dating profile is an exercise in temptation. I want to be in better shape and plan to be, so it is okay if I say I already am, right? Sure, a little exaggeration is acceptable. After all, we all put our best foot forward when meeting someone.

We might tell a white lie about pretending to like indie movies when we see nothing but rom coms—but making an aspirational profile will just end up backfiring. You are who you are, and there is nothing to be ashamed of. You are a woman who has been out of the dating arena, and now you are back in. Don’t hide what shouldn’t be hidden.

Don’t think the next date has to be “the one. “You’ve been in a relationship for a long time, and for a lot of people, that means there was a certain comfort in having someone near at all times, even if the romance was gone. We are social creatures, and we get used to people. We get used to having someone there in the morning.

When online dating after a divorce, it is easy to say, “Well, I don’t see a long future with that guy; he works weird hours.” But you shouldn’t let that stop you. This isn’t about “he might be the one.” It’s about giving yourself a chance to rediscover who you are when you are dating.

You don’t have to meet a spouse right away. Nor should you believe that that’s the goal. If you do, you’ll put too much pressure on yourself and will never get started.

Don’t take rejection personally. So many people are just flipping through and making snap judgements. You might be doing the same. Others may have more solid reasons. It’s easy to think that any rejection is a reflection of you, but that is a non-empathetic way of looking at it.

Remember that many people are in the same situation you are in. They might be scared, frightened of rejection, or nervous about acceptance. Maybe they are new to this.

Everyone has their own story, and it doesn’t always revolve around you. Shake off rejection and keep moving forward. If you are confident in yourself, it shouldn’t bother you.

Don’t take the jerks personally. You’ve probably heard that online dating can be a cruel world in which bitter and petty people take out their anger on a whole gender and abuse you with names if you have the audacity to turn them down. Unfortunately, that can be true. It’s not many people, but that doesn’t mean it isn’t shocking and sickening when it happens to you.

On many sites, you can report someone for verbal abuse, but remember: It isn’t about you personally. It has nothing to do with you as a person. Don’t let it throw you off from discovering yourself. You shouldn’t let anyone define you, much less the creepiest and the smallest.

Go slow—you aren’t part of the on-demand economy. When online dating, there is a lot of pressure to act. After all, you’ve been matched up with someone, and they are messaging you. But that’s not how it works.

Whether you are using a more relaxed site like eHarmony or Match or a supposed hookup site like Tinder, you are allowed to go at your own pace and turn things down if you want. There isn’t an Uber for dating. You have full agency over your choices, and you can’t let anyone pressure you into anything.

It can be like a normal relationship. You might think that everything has changed, but that’s not totally true. The modality has changed, but not the people. You can go on a date and then talk on the phone a few times before meeting again, just like before. You can talk on the phone first (some people suggest that to get a better feeling — but it is up to you!).

You don’t have to feel pressure to act in any way. You also don’t have to be calm. You can be butterflied and excited and nervous and dreading it and bursting with anticipation at the same time. Human emotions haven’t changed. You don’t have to pretend that we are in a world that is somehow less fraught with excitement, irrationality, and the joy of falling in love.

Be Yourself

The most important tip is to be yourself, and the best way to do that is to know yourself. It can be hard to understand who you are when you’re single if you have been part of a couple for so long.

Even people who are fiercely independent begin to see themselves as part of a pair, even if just out of habit. That’s normal and being cut adrift from that can be jarring.

Talk to a Spiritual Advisor

That’s why so many people turn to spiritual advisors: psychics, tarot readers, astrologers, and more. We can help you discover your fears and your hopes, and how to achieve them. We work with you to understand what you need and what your path is.

We give you the confidence to stretch out, plug in, boot up, and start dating. We work with ancient wisdom to give you the most powerful and important gift of all: the power of self-definition.

Dating has always been a rough world, and the rise of internet-based protection can bring out the worst in people. But it can also bring out the best. Tenderness and kindness still exist, they don’t have to be blotted out by cruelty. You can find the joy and the sweet terror of a new relationship as long as you are true to yourself.