“There is more hunger for love and appreciation in this world than bread.” ~Mother Teresa

Indeed, it is true that a lot of people are starving for food but what hurts the most is when a person starve for love from someone they love so deeply. It’s heart crushing. I’ve been in a relationship with my boyfriend for over four years. We’ve had our fair share of great times and not so pretty moments, but this summer our relationship was put to the test.

During that time, I went through some major transitions with my career and personal development, all things that needed to happen for me to be the best version of myself.

Those months were filled with long hours of working and being alone, solely focusing on creating the future I wanted. I was in deep, chasing my dreams, and wouldn’t let anything get in my way.

Here are some things that happened to me and him along the way:

• As time went on, I noticed that my partner was slowly slipping away.
• It wasn’t that he wasn’t coming home or was nowhere to be found. He was responding to the fact that I had lost focus on him.
• I was failing my partner in the following ways:
• I didn’t say thank you for all the little things he did for me.
• I didn’t ask him how his day was. Instead, I was eager to share how my day went.
• When I faced an obstacle with my goals, I would be rude and short with him.
• Instead of greeting him with a smile when he arrived home, I treated him as if he was a burden getting in the way of the work I needed to do.
• Rather than planning and spending time with him, I would work late into the evening.

Lastly, I wasn’t present with him. When I did spend time with him, all I did was think about work.

My actions and behaviors were so self-centered that I stopped thinking about how he was doing, how his day went, and what he needed support with.

The end result was that he withdrew from me.  Here is how this went:

• At first, I thought he was no longer interested in me, but I eventually came to realize that I wasn’t even close to meeting his needs. And what he needed was simple appreciation.
• He had hinted at it several times in his own way, but I’d had blinders on.
• After months of neglect, my boyfriend and I sat at our kitchen table making small talk and slowly tiptoeing into the conversation of what was and wasn’t working in our relationship.

He said, “All I ever want is for you to appreciate me. I don’t need you to cook for me or get all dressed up or buy me things. All I want is to be appreciated.”

His honest and vulnerable declaration brought me to tears. I realized then that I had been causing my partner significant pain and suffering for no reason.

So, with my heart on the table, my eyes swollen from crying, and a common ground of love to move forward on, I told him this: “From now on, I will appreciate you—the big, the small, the silly, and imperfect. I will appreciate it all. I may not be perfect in my practice of appreciation, but I am committed to it, so much so that I have added it to my morning routine.”

Much like the gratitude journal I write in every morning, I now have a journal dedicated solely to all the things I value about my partner.

Every morning I set aside time to think of three things I appreciate about him. I do this even when I’m not feeling up for it. I take my time and feel every emotion that comes up as I write down my list of three items.

I also make an effort so show my appreciation in action. My partner’s love language is “acts of service,” meaning actions speak louder than words. He feels loved when I do things for him coupled with expressing my feelings for him, so I now strive to show him that I love him with acts that require planning and thoughtfulness.

The Value of Appreciation

I never thought that simply reminding myself how much I appreciate my partner would cause a ripple effect in how I interact with him, but it has.

Since starting my appreciation practice…

I easily forgive his mistakes, such as forgetting to do something I ask him to do to support me, or not being sensitive enough and open to my feelings when I feel overwhelmed. I’ve grown to love his mistakes because they remind me of what it is to be imperfect. After all, I’m not perfect, and I can’t expect him to be either.

I appreciate his faults and quirks. Like hitting the snooze button when he needs to get out of bed. And forgetting to eat throughout the day because he’s too busy teaching college students. And running behind schedule most of the time. We all have faults. His reminds me all over again why I fell in love with him. In all reality, we complement each other nicely.

Here are some other things I deeply appreciate about my partner:

• I appreciate his smile and his one-of-a-kind laugh.

In recognizing all that my partner does for me and my future, I feel a love so powerful that just thinking about it brings me to tears. When I recognize what my partner does and when I recognize how he feels, this is what happens in the relationship:

• My partner feels appreciated and cared for. He is more eager to engage with me, and more willing to be open and expressive with me. And he talks about the future more than ever.

What Happens When You Don’t Appreciate the People in Your Life

When you don’t appreciate others, your relationships suffer in the following ways:

• The other person feels unimportant and may withdraw from you.
• When your partner feels unappreciated, any talks of the future will be met with resistance. Would you want to build a future with someone who doesn’t appreciate you?
• Animosity may build up in the relationship, on both sides.
• The person feeling unappreciated may find other places, things, or people to seek appreciation from.
• Being unappreciated can lead to unnecessary arguments and resentment.
• Lack of appreciation may completely ruin and end the relationship.

How to Start Appreciating the People in Your Life

If you’ve recognized that you could make a little more effort appreciating the people in your life, dedicate a notebook solely for this purpose. Start your day by jotting down three things you value about this person. At the end of thirty days, give them your notes of appreciation. Rinse and repeat.

But appreciation doesn’t just live within the mind. Sure, it’s wonderful to think about all the things you value about someone, but when you don’t vocalize or show your appreciation, it means nothing.

You can start appreciating others in your life by:

• Leaving them notes thanking them for who they are and what you appreciate about them.
• Saying thank you and acknowledging the little things they do every day.
• Giving specific examples of what they have done and how that has enhanced your own life.
• Appreciating their flaws and quirks. The little imperfections are what make people unique. They may feel insecure about them. Let them know how you appreciate their imperfections, and why.
• Giving someone a hug when they help you out or put a smile on your face.
• Doing something unexpected; brighten their day by buying them a cup of coffee or stopping by to let them know that you love them and appreciate them for being in your life.

Like Tony Robbins said, “Trade your expectations for appreciation and your whole world changes in an instant.”

Appreciation strengthens the bonds you have with others, no matter the relationship. It replaces a mindset of not having enough with being grateful for everything you have. And most of all, it creates space to be thankful for the little things in life.

“When you’re in love, all that you can see is the greatest quality of the guy and yes! Maybe he’s that tall, dark, and handsome but then he’s the most selfish guy you have ever met. Would you stay? Of course, you will! Because you’re not aware how selfish they are.”

How do you define a really great sexual experience? Is it between two people who have an emotional and physical connection? Or is it uninhibited and a little bit dangerous? Is it shared by people who are equally interested in each other’s pleasure? However, you define great sex, you probably know what bad, unfulfilling sex feels like. Often that’s because you’re with a guy who’s a selfish lover. Are you wondering just how selfish he is?

Check out these nine behaviors and see how many apply to him:

1. He Always Expects You to Initiate
   He may say it’s because he never knows when you’re in the mood, but a good partner would be able to recognize the signs or know just what to do to get you in the mood. Part of being a selfish lover is being a lazy lover who never initiates sex.
2. You’re on Call
   A man is a selfish lover if he expects you to be on call, sexually. This means that he expects you to be ready for sex whenever he wants it. And if you don’t want it too, he tries to make you feel guilty about it.
3. He Only Likes One Position
   If you’re with a guy who’s only interested in one sexual position, his favorite, you are with a man who is selfish in bed. Sure, certain positions work better for some than others, but he should be interested in the positions you like, too.
4. He’s Only Nice When He Wants Some
   Have you ever been with a guy who acts like a total jerk, but somehow becomes a sweetheart when he wants sex? That’s pretty manipulative and it definitely means he’s a selfish lover. Relationships take work, but if he only puts in the effort when he wants sex, you need to move on.
5. He’s Inpatient When Your Body Doesn’t React as Expected
   Humans aren’t robots and that means your body won’t work the same all the time. When it comes to sex, your body may not always respond the same way, and that’s totally fine, except to a selfish lover. If your body isn’t doing what he thinks it should, he’ll respond with a bad attitude.
6. He Likes to Take Shortcuts
   There are many different ways to be pleased in bed, and it’s fun to incorporate new tricks and toys to spice things up. But if your partner is looking to use whatever hurries you along, he’s a selfish lover.
7. He Doesn’t Care About Your Orgasm
   If he’s using your body as a means to an end—his end—he’s a selfish lover. If he rolls over and falls asleep after his orgasm, without making sure you’ve had one too, you’ve guessed it, he’s a selfish lover.
8. He Likes to Put on a Show for Himself
   Have you ever been with a man who spends more time staring at his reflection in a mirror than looking into your eyes? Yes, he’s a selfish lover because he cares more about how he looks than how you feel.
9. It’s All Physical and Not Emotional
   The physical part of sex is easy—a selfish lover knows which parts go where. The emotional part is what’s challenging. If you’re looking for a purely physical relationship, then you have nothing to worry about. However, if you want that emotional connection during sex with your partner, and he’s not giving it to you, he’s selfish.

One big issue common to countless romantic relationships between men and women is, “Does he ever listen to me?”

It’s common for a wife to complain, “My husband never listens to me!” Or for a girlfriend to vent to her best friends, “My boyfriend never pays attention to what I tell him!” Or for an engaged woman, who’s been discussing wedding plans with her fiancé for months, to ask him a question about a detail they’d discussed earlier, and he has no clue what she’s asking about!

Did he listen to anything she said?

Here are seven common issues men may have when it comes to listening to their romantic partner, along with some easy pointers about how women can address these common issues.

She talks too much. Often, women have so much to say that the pertinent facts get lost in the details of the story. If a man has to listen to his girlfriend gush about that cute top she saw at the store, how her sister is expecting a baby, and that she had a rotten day at work just to find out what’s for dinner, he can be left completely overwhelmed by the end of the saga and wonder what just hit him.

So, try to keep it short. Don’t roam on about every little thing, especially if you’ve noticed that he has little interest in frivolous details.

He’s heard it all before. A man may think there’s nothing new to hear, so he automatically tunes out mid-sentence. According to him, it’s just old wine in a new bottle.

When you have to go into detail, try to make it interesting to him. Grab his attention with a new anecdote or a funny story he hasn’t heard before.

She’s nagging. One of the commonest complaints men have is that their partners nag them. Since they’re used to the general trend, they think there’s nothing different about what she’s going on about this time around.

Stop being predictable. Don’t get on him and nag about the same old stuff. If he hasn’t gotten the message by now, it’s time to change your stance or get him to move his butt by trying a new approach.

He doesn’t like to be controlled. Men feel that if they listen to a woman to follow her instructions, it’s a sign that he’s putty in her hands, and she’ll take undue advantage of the situation. Once he gives in to her demands, he’ll be her puppet on a string.

When you want him to listen and follow through on instructions, don’t order him around. Ask him nicely and check to see if he’s understanding what you’ve told him. Finally, act as if the ultimate decision rests with him.

There are more pressing matters. If a woman is trying to talk while a man is doing something he considers more important, like watching the end of a football game, the last thing he wants to do is turn off the TV and tune in to his partner.

Don’t even try talking to him when he’s got the TV on. Eliminate all distractions or wait until the game’s over before you start having your say.

He has a short attention span. Often, men can’t keep their focus on what a woman is saying for too long. They rarely have the patience to give a woman their listening ear.

So, when you’re talking, try and get him to maintain eye contact with you. That way, if his mind starts to go off on a rabbit trail, you’ll see it by the glazed or wandering look in his eyes. Call his attention back onto you before continuing.

The topic is of little interest to him. If she insists on raving to him about the designer watch her boss’ wife was sporting, or the chandelier earrings her friend’s rich boyfriend surprised her with, that may be something a man has little to no interest in hearing.

Stay alert and pause at suitable intervals to ensure you have his attention. Avoid monologues and give him a chance to have his say too. Actively seek his opinion and ask him for relevant feedback, so that you know he’s not just physically present while his mind is elsewhere.

These easy tips will make the common issues of men listening to women easy to address. They can help the woman he loves become the one he’ll always listen to even when he is busy with his own stuff.

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Something you should consider when you are wondering if you should give someone who has hurt you another chance is whether or not you have been given a second opportunity.

There are certain instances where second chances are not possible. There are also occasions when a second chance could and should be given.  Before you decide to completely move on, you should take a look at a few reasons to forgive.

Someone else is part of your decision

Think for a moment if you are at all being influenced by a third party who may want you to join them in their situation.  If there is someone in your life who is trying desperately to help you sever ties, they may have an ulterior motive.

You may have given up too quickly

Examine the relationship. Did things just get rough or did something major happen? Sometimes it easier to just walk away rather than iron out the rough spots.  Before you move on, take a minute to see if things can be repaired by a second chance.

Apologies were given.

You know what a sincere apology is.  If you have received one of these and it makes note of the specific offense and how it affected you, then the person involved wants to make amends. This type of sincerity deserves a second chance.

You were also in the wrong

It is entirely possible that you were not completely innocent in the events.   If you said or didn’t say something that ended the relationship, it is possible that you both need and deserve a second chance.  If both parties agree, you can apologize and move on.

There are strong feelings involved. 

Sometimes when a relationship comes to an end, the feelings just don’t disappear.  If, after a significant amount of time passes and you still have these feelings, you may want to consider giving a second chance. Just be sure that these feelings are healthy.

Is change possible or probable?

How likely is it that the person will change or want to fix things? Will they be willing or able to make the kind of improvement that will work in your relationships favor? If so, a second chance is warranted.

There were circumstances working against their favor

We all know that life can get in the way. Sometimes problems such as family and finances can wear down both parties and one decides to walk away.  If the problems involved survival and unforeseen challenges, they may need and deserve a second chance.

Children are involved

Sometimes there are some relationships that you can’t just let dissolve. This is usually because children are a factor.  As you know, every parent’s decision affects the children.  This means that the relationship between the parents should be taken into considerations. If this relationship has dwindled, an effort should be made to give a second chance or at least repair the situation.

Life is far too short to simply move away from a quality relationship because a wrong has been done. If there is any way to forgive and move on, you should consider giving it a try.  If there is truly a meeting of the minds and genuine feeling, you should give a second chance.

You have probably heard the old cliche about nothing lasting forever.  But what if you had a way to make your man fall for you over and over and over?

It’s not a secret that guys don’t like a routine or a set pattern. The do enjoy having someone who keeps them guessing and makes them work for their attention. They love a bit of a challenge. Here are a few ways to leave a lasting and vivid impression.

• After a brief tryst, don’t overburden him with information and get him out the door as soon as possible.
• Don’t let him know that you would like a relationship. Instead steer him in the opposite direction.
• Once you have dismissed him, begin to reveal a little about yourself. Chances are he will start trying to draw you in.
• Pull away when you see him start to pursue you, but just a little. Some guys relish the thrill of the chase. Pulling back will definitely get their interest.
• Be strange. A wild card is intriguing, and people will wonder what you will do next.
• Pick a unique location for your date. Choose something that he will find exciting or just a little scary.  The fear response is very close to love
• Keep him guessing about your feelings. Let him know in subtle ways that you are being pursued by others.
• Hold back if he suddenly cancels plans. If he acts like he doesn’t care, show him that you don’t either.
• Tell him about your ex but do not overdo it.
• Let him know what you are looking for but don’t be overly detailed on the first date.
• Show some interest but don’t let him think you are throwing yourself at him.
• Text him back if he texts you but don’t always be the one texting first.
• Do not always be available when he calls you. Show him that you are busy and that you have other plans.
• Make plans with other people and do not cancel on them just to go out on a date with him.

Don’t be afraid to let him see he you check out other men. Do this carefully and not at all once you are in a relationship. A little bit of jealousy and playing hard to get will go a long way.

Conclusion

Making a man fall in love with you takes a little time and patience. Learn to love yourself and then others will fall for this and love you back.

Be strong and confident and get what you want in life and in dating. Do not give in and become attached to just anyone but make sure that you keep your values and standards high when it comes to love and dating.

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If you want to be successful in dating, body language is everything. It’s more important even than your physical appearance. Solid body language is the best way to make a strong first impression and get him or her to notice you for the right reasons, so its importance can hardly be understated. Here are some basic but essential tips to help you sharpen your body language:

Eye Contact

In any social situation, eye contact is an important tool for connecting with other people. Looking into someone’s eyes signals that you’re present, you’re listening, and you’re open to creating a relationship.

By contrast, looking away (especially at your phone) while someone is speaking with you can be a sign that you don’t care or aren’t interested. Also, it’s super rude. That’s why eye contact is a key body language tactic for dating if you really want to show someone, you’re ready for more.

Bite Your Lower Lip

A little bit coy, a little bit sexy, this move is especially enticing. It’s flirtatious without being overtly forward and works especially well if you’re a woman. Try it and find out for yourself.

Play With Your Hair

This one is typically more of a female thing—as some guys don’t really have enough hair to do this—and it’s another coy signal of flirtation. Playing with your hair works exceptionally well if you have long luscious locks that your potential partner likely wants to run his or her fingers through.

Graze Their Thigh or Arm

Brushing your hand against your date’s thigh or arm is a harmless way to get some physical contact without being inappropriate. He or she will know that you’re interested on a more carnal level while you’re still keeping everything playful and light.

Uncross Your Arms

Having your arms folded over your chest is a clear signal of standoffishness. Even if you don’t mean to come off as closed off, holding this position will send that message. Be aware of your arm placement and make sure they stay loose at your sides or gently folded on the table in front of you.

Body Language, the Universal Language

Remember, body language is something that most people can understand. When someone smiles, we know that they are happy and when someone is frowning, we know they are sad. The way that you control your body language can tell your potential date or your partner about what you are feeling.

Always be aware of what kind of body language you are giving out to those that are around you so that you can be sure not to run off someone that you hope to have more time with.

True romance is a gamble. While some relationships seem to materialize without any effort, many require us to step outside our comfort zones. Some of us fall for people who seem too good to be true, only to discover they really are too good to be true. Others are intimidated by the idea of taking salsa dance lessons or going on a blind date set up by your brother’s roommate’s cousin to find that “special someone.”

But the important thing is to keep trying. Here are some places you may have been overlooking as you seek romance:

Online

For the past decade, online dating has experienced a seismic shift from cautious to widespread acceptance. More than 50 percent of Americans know someone who met their partner over the internet through online dating. A similar percentage recommends dating sites as a viable, respectable way to meet other singles. Besides online dating sites don’t overlook general social media as an avenue to find romance with someone that has similar interests to yours.

Mutual Friends

While some couples do still meet through mutual friends, this trend is also dramatically changing. Fewer couples have been meeting through friends over the last 20 years. Many singles automatically rule out the option of being set up with someone through “that” friend who always seems to know someone who’d be “perfect for you! “

And don’t forget that when you make a new friend, you’re not just linked to them, but to their entire social network including their family, friends, and co-workers. All those warnings aside, your friends may know best!

At Work

Though they can be complicated, office relationships still do happen. Even star employees can make the most out of an office romance while continuing stellar performance on the job. Open conversation by offering compliments when deserved or offering help when needed. But always remain aware of your company’s employee handbook or list of policies, which may state that employees aren’t allowed to be romantically involved.

Around Town

Being anywhere outside of your home increases the chances you’ll make interpersonal connections and meet someone new. Go out and spend time in cafes, libraries, and other local hangouts around town. Does your town have a sports team? Become a fan. A book club? Sign up. Biking or running groups? Join in! Bird-watching? Video-gaming? Whatever your interests, find a way get involved. It’s the perfect opportunity to make connections with new people. Those connections may even evolve into something more.

At School

Many couples also still meet at school. Whether the school is large or small, it generally includes people of similar age and background to yours. Some couples only see each other at school. With little time to spend together outside the classroom, trying to be romantic may be a daunting task. But don’t be discouraged. Romance can be created anywhere, even at school. You don’t always need a romantic setting to be romantic.

Anyone who has ever been disappointed in a relationship knows how hard it is to find the “right” person. Making yourself date-able is only half the battle. The other half is knowing where to make that fateful connection.

Marriage is hard work and there is no guarantee that it will be a success. As hard as it is to realize, the early days of blissful romance do not last forever.   But as hard work is its own rewards, an investment in a marriage will yield many benefits.

The things that are most vital to a relationship are communication and connection and intimacy.  The connection helps you feel close to your partner.  This is because your shared values as well as a concern for your needs brings you together.

Communication skills are also important because it helps you understand each other as well as making yourself understood. The vulnerability that accompanies intimacy helps trust evolve and grow. All of these things are generally present when a couple gets married.  Can it be sustained over years? It can if you build in good habits for a good marriage.

Show your partner you are happy to see them.

Really express your love when you see your partner.  Give them a warm embrace along with your full attention and let them know how glad you are to be next to them. Not only is this a physical sign of your love, but it also helps release oxytocin which is a hormone that helps you bond with your partner.

Always be grateful

When you retire for the night, be sure you show your appreciation for something your partner has done for you.  You can even leave a little note for them. This expression of gratitude is a sign of your appreciation and reinforces your own feelings of love.

Be empathetic

Instead of being a “right fighter” and fixating on your side of an argument, take a minute to see their side of the issue.   Take a minute to actually hear and restate their concerns. It is absolutely all right to ask them to do the same

Listen mindfully

Listen to your partner when they are upset. Do not try to fix their problem. Just listen. Many times, they just want someone to hear their point of view. Ask them what they need from you.  Sometimes it’s just a kind ear.

Sweet nothings matter

There are certain things your partner needs to hear from you. These are those words that make them feel valued and loved.  Once you know what these words are, let them hear them from you often. These words are the fuel that will help keep your romance going.

Memories are important.

Share your memories with each other.  Tell them about the things you always think about when they are thinking of you.  Share these thoughts with them. These happy moments will help strengthen the bond between you.

Don’t be afraid of change

Change happens. It’s the only constant in life.  Talk to each other about change in each other’s lives, keep an open mind and an understanding heart. Ask them for their impressions of the change in each other.

Share your dreams

If you feel that you have lost touch with each other, ask them what their dreams and hopes are.  Once again, be open and honest.  Listen to what they are saying without jumping to conclusions.  Ask them what they would like to achieve over the next several years.  Perhaps ask what you can do to help them reach their goals.

Remember that partnership means both of you. Any partnership needs attention and work to survive.  Do not ever stop trying or stop listening to what your partner needs or wants.  This doesn’t have to be hard work. Just a few words and hugs can keep a romance alive and growing.

Dating someone new after a divorce can be a difficult decision to make. Whether your marriage lasted for decades or only a short time, you’ll find that the dating scene is always evolving. Follow these six tips on how to deal with dating after a divorce for a happier and healthier you.

Love Yourself

Divorce is never easy, and you may come out of yours feeling less than great about yourself and everyone around you. Put yourself first and create situations where you know you’ll feel good. Book a spa appointment, take a girls’ weekend, or tackle the redecoration project you’ve been putting off.

Forget About Your Ex

If you find yourself thinking about your ex too much, whether it’s wondering who he’s with or what he’s doing, take steps to move on and focus on more productive thoughts. If you can’t move past your ex, it’s not fair to consider a relationship with a potential new partner. A love psychic can help you think through and work past issues with your ex.

Explore New Things

This is the perfect time to give yourself another chance. Try new things and open yourself up to new experiences. Give yourself a goal of trying just one new thing each month, whether it’s a class or an activity group, and see where it leads you. Chances are you’ll like at least some of the new things you try, and you may unintentionally meet a new friend or romantic interest along the way.

Be True and Prepared

First dates and new relationships come with many getting-to-know-you questions. Previous relationships and divorce are sure to come up as you become acquainted, and it’s best to have simple, straightforward answers ready. Remember that it’s only fair to share the truth, but your date doesn’t need or want to hear the dirty details.

Build a Support System

A solid support system is critical to your emotional and mental wellbeing, and it can be important for your sense of safety, too. Your support system might include a trusted friend or two who join you when you try new things, or it can include a confidante who you check in with a few times a week. Build your system in a way that works best for you and be sure to get the support you need.

Prepare To Take Risks

Once you’ve gotten over lingering ex issues, consider going on a date as practice for future relationships. Even if you’re not ready for something serious, it’s important to relearn what it’s like to be around someone new. Use this as an opportunity to meet new people and get comfortable putting yourself out there.

Treat this as a chance to boost your self-confidence, too, as you work on improving yourself for your own sake as well as that of a potential partner. If you do meet someone special, an authentic psychic can tell you if he’s the one.  Dating after a divorce is fraught with many challenges. Approach dating thoughtfully and with an open mind to find the most enjoyment in your new life.

Have you noticed that when you are doing something that you are passionate with, time seems to just pass while taking your fears and worries with it? Or how, after accomplishing something, the artists are blooming and inspired? Maybe you’ve even experienced the flow of love or sexual energy after spoiling in a creative endeavor. This is not a misconception: Having a creative hobby that you are passionate about– whether it’s cooking, dance, or visual art — is a great way to practice self-love, strengthen your second and fourth chakras, and generally have a juicier life.

And the juicier we feel about ourselves, the more visible we are to potential partners. Creative play makes us more attractive, creates receptivity in the field and “attraction” chakras, as well as cultivates all-important self-love.

How Creativity Affects the Energy Field

Our aura, or energy field, is one of the main points of attraction between us and another. This is true for any kind of relationship. Though you may not be able to see auras with your naked eye, your own energetic antennae will pick up the vibration of another’s field. We’ve all felt this, and whatever is present in our aura will be sensed by others as well. So, it makes sense that when we are feeling the pleasure of artistic endeavor, our field becomes “shinier” and more attractive.

Two chakras in particular, the second and fourth, contribute to the receptivity and “good vibes” in our energy field. The second, or sacral chakra governs our feelings, sexuality, creativity, and self-love. As one of the lower chakras, it is instinctual and primal.

The fourth chakra, or heart center, governs our love for others and how we give and receive love. Both of these chakras are stimulated by the creative process and are essential to have at maximum operation if you want to attract love and passion that is in alignment with your true self.

Creativity, Self-Love, and Attraction

Creativity is a primal and essential part of being human. It is related to the procreation — the connection to the second chakra. Creative work strengthens self-love via the surrender to the creative process. As you immerse yourself in doing something that brings you joy, endorphins and other neurotransmitters are released by the brain. This allows relaxation and a sense of well-being — all of which help you to attract a love that is good for you.

Let’s look at a real-world example. Lisa was a visual artist but found it hard to be disciplined around her art. She had a bit of the tortured artist stereotype going on, often thinking: “If I’m an artist, I have to suffer.” We did some energy work around this belief, and she started to have a more positive connection to painting. As she gave time to her art every week, I noticed that overall, she was happier and more relaxed, and was kinder to herself in other ways.

Lisa had also been single for quite a while and had a history of emotionally abusive relationships. I encouraged her to paint through some of her pain and to allow her creative spirit to help her heal. Even though her paintings became quite dark, her aura remained strong and vibrant as she honored her feelings and also her artistic self.

After a few months of commitment to her painting, Lisa met a man at an art opening. He was not her “type,” but because she was open and happier with herself, she was receptive to developing a friendship with him. A few fun outings later, the relationship began to deepen and is healthy. They are both artists and both take time in their busy lives to play with their creative spirit.

Ways to Connect to Your Creativity

Many people protest that they aren’t creative. This isn’t true — it isn’t even possible! But many of my clients are cut off from their creative impulse, and this shows up in sluggish chakras and limited thinking about life in general — including expectations around love.

Our creative muses are always waiting for us. I help clients connect to what might be a good outlet for them through Tarot and intuitive readings. We can also look at the astrological chart to help find innate but perhaps latent talents or divine best directions.

Often, I start by just having the client make a list of what they loved to play and do in childhood. With a bit of thought, people are often surprised to remember that they wrote endless adventure stories as a child, or played dress-up, or loved to make their own comic books. Children are creative, but our original artistic longings often get buried in time.

Janine was a woman in her late 50s who came to me because she felt frustrated in love and in life generally. She had suffered a bitter mid-life divorce and had been a workaholic since. When I looked at her aura, it was clear that her fourth and second chakras were undernourished, and that her relationship to herself had never really bounced back from the divorce. I asked her what her self-love practice was, and she just stared at me.

“I take a bath once in a while, sometimes make myself a nice meal. But — who has time for self-love? I’m not sure I even know what that is!”

We had a few sessions together and discovered that she had a childhood passion for acting out stories. I asked her if she’d like to explore theater. Though she didn’t feel she could commit to auditions, we hit upon the idea of an acting class. A part of her lit up at the thought. Though she was inclined to dismiss it, we made a contract that she would try it out.

The class focused on improvisation and was filled with interesting people of all ages. As Janine came for her sessions, I could see her chakras opening, and her joy was apparent. The class made her laugh and called out her creativity. Because it was a structured event that she paid for, she felt committed to going. This worked better for her than trying to come up with a creative practice at home (which was clearly indicated by her astrological chart).

Janine made new friends in the class and ended up beginning a relationship with her teacher. At our last session, the relationship was blossoming along with Janine’s new respect for her creative self. She has even encouraged her daughter to return to a high school photography hobby.

Do the simple writing exercise above to help you uncover the inner creative spirit that awaits you. As you make time for loving expression of your artistic longing, you will find more joyful relationships entering your life.