Advice for the Newly Married Couple

It is very easy to get married. It is much more difficult to be married. As regular life takes hold with its accompanying responsibilities, newly married couples often have to work harder to keep the fun and excitement of the relationship alive. Here are a few tips to keep your newlywed happy!

How problems begin.

Let your partner know if something is worrying you. Don’t let the problems build up. Even if you think they will be offended about what you say (such as that you don’t like the fact that he leaves he socks on the bookshelf in front of your college diploma) tell him right away and as calmly as possible. It is much better to face this calmly now rather than scream about it ten years down the road.

Let the small problems go.

People who live together get on each other’s nerves. This is a fact. Don’t let the insignificant day to day issues enrage you. Choose your battles and let the little things go.

Talk about finances and family issues early in the relationship.

If possible, discuss your financial and family details before you get married. Having the details of bills and budget ironed out before you settle in will help avoid big misunderstandings later. Also discussing the details of how your families will fit in to your lifestyle will save you a lot of headaches later.

Don’t air your dirty laundry.

If you are having problems with your partner, address it privately. Don’t put them down in front of others. It is a truly bad idea to give anyone a negative view of your spouse while you are fighting. This will only backfire on you down the road.

Fight Fair

If the two of you are having a disagreement, avoid dragging in old business or past problems. Don’t belittle each other and don’t run away from the fight. Take a breath and time to think before you speak. Don’t forget to apologize when the problem is settled.

Don’t Take Them for Granted

Appreciate your partner. Always remember to be grateful for everything they do for you. Everyone loves a compliment.

You can keep the romance in your life alive by treating each day as if it were your first date. This constant care of your relationship will help your love survive anything.

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Is an Arranged Marriage Suitable for You?

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It is almost unheard of in our modern society, but some marriages are set up by the families of a young couple. The parents of the couple agree to meet and then introduce the bride and groom to each other. In a sharp contrast to olden times, this couple is allowed to converse and decide if they want to commit to the marriage.

Years ago, the couples in the arranged marriage had little to no input and frequently did not even meet until the wedding day. As we all know, each and every relationship needs to adjust, and compromises have to be made so that the couple can move forward. A question that comes is how long the initial flurries of flirtation and excitement can last, and do we put too much stock and value in these things.

Marriage based on Love

Some people are raised on the idea that a successful marriage is based on a magical love experience. This sets us up for a serious disappointment. Marriage is hard work and definitely challenging, even if you are a good match with your partner. This probably comes from the fact that too often people commit to a partnership based largely on chemistry and sexual compatibility. Thus, when the initial stages of a marriage are over, the couple is left with the harsh reality of day-to-day life together.

Arranged Marriage

So is it settling to disregard sexual chemistry and let someone make the choice for you. Is there such a thing as good enough when it comes to marriage. Can family take the struggle out of the equation for you? Something that is becoming increasingly more common is the consultation of a matchmaker to help find a life partner.

Obviously for this to work a great deal of trust must be placed in the matchmaker and the client must be open to the idea of marriage as a process and work on building trust and a marriage.

Comparatively speaking

Research has shown that most love marriages have a few ups and downs during the first decade of the partnerships. This may be because it is within the first few years of togetherness the shine comes off the marriage and people get down to the business of living.

Conversely, in the arranged marriage, love and happiness truly blooms somewhere around the first five years. As the couple gets to know each other, they can fall in love without the blur of hormones blinding them to the maintenance of their marriage.

What about divorce?

In the case of the arranged marriage, it is harder to give up on a relationship. This is because a considerable amount of investment has gone into putting the partnership together, so the couple has many other things to consider. These influences can help a couple make the decision to work out things between themselves.

Could an arranged marriage be for you?

Consulting a matchmaker or asking your parents to find you a match is not the way to resolve your life just because you are having trouble finding a match by dating. An arranged marriage does have the components of a successful marriage by finding a partner for you that is compatible on other areas of your life instead of fixating on physical attraction.

How Love is Beneficial in One’s Life?

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Do you feel yourself falling in love? If so, never resist it. Only few things are better for your health than being in love! Love is good for both physical and mental health. You don’t have to MAKE love to gain these benefits – FALLING in love is enough! Researchers from all around the world have given evidence showing that people of all ages benefit from being in love.

Some of love’s benefits are just self-evident, while other benefits are mysterious, but every stage in an emotional relationship, from the first romantic spark to long-term, deep-rooted relationship, comes with its own rewards. Here are just a few benefits.

Love is Good for Your Heart Health

Love is not only good for the emotional indicator, but it’s also good for that thing beating in your chest. Positive emotional feelings, particularly in the long-term, has been shown to reduce the risk of heart attacks, especially in men. A study in American Journal of Medicine, in which research data was collected for about 10,000 men, showed those who felt “being loved and supported” by a partner had a decreased risk of heart attack, even in cases other factors existed, such as senior age or elevated blood pressure.

Meanwhile, San Diego State and the University of Pittsburgh studies indicated that women in good marriages had a much lower risk of cardiovascular disease than those who were in stressful relationships.

Need more evidence that love is good for your heart health? A 2013 Finnish study by the European Journal of Preventive Cardiology revealed that marriage reduced the risk of heart attacks for both genders men and women of all ages. The researchers studied 15,000 cardiac cases over 10 years and concluded that acute events were 58% to 66% higher in single men, and 60% to 65% higher in single women, compared to those living a stable relationship.

SEX is Good for Your Immune System

Apart from the obvious reasons that sex improves our mood, researchers have found a link between frequent sexual intimacy and how strong our immune system is. A Pennsylvania study showed that participants who engaged in sex once or twice a week had higher levels of Immunoglobulin A—which is an important asset for preventing illness—than peers who didn’t. However, the study continued to conclude that for those who engaged in sexual activity more than twice a week had low levels of Immunoglobulin A, as well.

Hugging Lowers Your Blood Pressure

Did you know that hugging your beloved ones can actually help lower your blood pressure? Studies have indicated that couples who held one another’s hands for a period of 10 minutes, followed by a 20-second hug showed healthier reactions to emotional triggers, in addition to, lower heart rates and lower blood pressure, compared to those who got involved in stressful situations. In addition to hugging, non-sexual caresses cause high blood pressure-relieving benefits for women.

Love Helps Banish Cancer

A study conducted by University of Iowa researchers who discovered that, ovarian cancer patients who were in emotionally “satisfying relationships” were gifted by increase in frequency of “natural killer” cell activity that smashes cancerous cells as part of immune system’s response in comparison with those who lacked emotional support.

Long Term Relationships Still Have a Chance

In a 2008 TED talk, a biological anthropologist at Rutgers University Helen Fisher revealed that, she scanned the brains of lovers who were madly in love and learned that there was a positive effect for love on the gray matter that produces the neurotransmitter dopamine—a natural chemical that helps send signals in the brain. According to Fischer, lovers who in long-term relationships, have showed “similar patterns of neural activity to those who still in early-stage romantic love.”

Studies also indicated that other romantic activities such as kissing, hugging, and cuddling have also caused triggering the production of the hormone oxytocin, which helps us remain in love. Also, a study by At Bar-Ilana University in Israel led by psychology professor Ruth Feldman indicated that “the increase in oxytocin during the period of falling in love was the highest ever found.”

LOVE may not be the cure for everything that disturbs you, but speaking of your health, Cupid could be cure for many physical issues.

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5 Reasons You Always Date the Wrong People

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Love is one of the most beautiful, natural things in the world. It leaves you vulnerable in the best possible way. It allows you to experience life as never before. It provides a feeling you can’t put into words. But, regrettably, love also happens to be a tricky (and, at times, evil) bitch.

Navigating through love and relationships is one of life’s inevitabilities. However, I hear people constantly choosing the wrong romantic partners. Now, this doesn’t directly pertain to one gender over another. Statistically speaking, all genders equally waste time on worthless relationships.

If your love life isn’t bringing you happiness, maybe one of the following factors contributes to your poor decision-making when determining a suitable partner.

1. You Want What You Can’t Have.

While the thrill of the chase may or may not be part of our DNA, people, especially men, love a challenge. As a result, people who refuse to invest emotionally, or withhold physical or emotional affection as a tool to manipulate their lovers into doing what they want, can become an obsession. Like a gambling addict running a losing streak, men often date a partner long after there’s any hope of breaking even, much less coming out ahead.

What You Can Do to Change

The first thing you can try to do is accept suitors are not trophies, they are people, and not all people are worthy of your time. No matter how attractive or accomplished they may be, it’s no excuse for letting them treat you like dirt. So, the next time you find yourself falling for someone who does not reciprocate your feelings, step back and take a look at what you think it is that makes them so perfect. Consider how they don’t meet your needs—or worse, treat you with disrespect. Does a little voice in your head start making excuses for their bad behavior? That’s a sure sign they’re not the one. Turn up the volume on your common sense to drown out that misguided little voice and move on to someone who truly appreciates you.

2. Commitment Phobia

Some guys subconsciously seek out inappropriate partners because it gives them an out. As much as they protest, they’re looking for love and long-term romance, the reality is, they’re terrified of being tied down. Why? It often boils down to fear of boredom or the feeling they may miss out on someone who might be “a better catch.”

What You Can Do to Change

If you view a relationship as something static that isn’t going to change once achieved, you’re dooming yourself to failure. Healthy relationships grow and evolve, and like a shark, must constantly move forward to remain vital and alive. That said, not even the best relationship is going to be perfect all the time. Are you going to be bored occasionally? Yes. And they will get bored with you, as well. But rather than allowing yourself to fall into a romance-scuttling rut, you can learn to recognize the signs of ennui and shift direction. It doesn’t have to be something crazy. Even a subtle change can get you back on course. And about “missing out?” If you start dating someone who is a good match intellectually, physically, emotionally, and spiritually, what could you possibly be missing out on?

3. Beauty as the Beast

Is the media to blame for your poor romantic choices? Partly. Advertising, the Internet, and the cult of celebrity have created a feminine ideal that is as highly appealing as it is virtually unattainable. More and more often, gorgeous women with toxic personalities are seen as the “it girls” of their generation. Physical flaws are erased, while emotional shortcomings are glamorized.

What You Can Do to Change

While there’s no quick fix for this, there’s such a thing as too much media. Turn off your devices and reconnect with your moral compass. Think about how you truly want to be treated, as a living, breathing, feeling, thinking human being. It’s OK to be the hero in your own story, but the most authentic and fulfilling lives are lived as non-fiction. Meet people in the real world. Have a face-to-face discussion. You may learn that a charming person is more satisfying to the soul than all that hype you’ve been ingesting.

4. Mommy Not So Dearest

It’s normal for those who grow up in a dysfunctional family to subconsciously recreate their parental role models’ unhealthy relationships to attempt to heal the psychological wounds, negligence, or abuse they suffered as children. In the best of all possible worlds, every child would get the love and care they need and deserve, but that isn’t the case. Men who grew up with distant, cruel, or even abusive mothers often continue to seek out love from inappropriate or emotionally unavailable partners to fill a hole in their hearts left by their moms.

What You Can Do to Change

People tend to idolize their parents. As a result, the most challenging thing many of us must do is accept our parents are only human and have limitations. Another thing that many find difficult to understand is that you had no control over your parents’ relationships, with each other, or with you as a child. The first step in moving forward is to admit that while your mom may have been incapable of showering you with affection, you deserve to be loved. Reaching this conclusion may require help. There’s nothing shameful about seeking out some sound counseling to guide you to make healthier love choices in the future.

5. Sexual Double Standard

Contrary to popular opinion, women aren’t always looking for Mr. or Ms. Right. Sometimes, “Mr. or Ms. Right Now,” is as far as they want to go. Historically, women usually believed that sleeping with someone would lead to a committed relationship and was associated with love—and it was women who were disappointed and heartbroken. These days, the table turns both ways: women might also not be in “relationship-seeking mode” and can be just as interested in the release and pleasure afforded by a quick physical hook-up as a man might be.

What You Can Do to Change

All genders can and do enjoy sex without commitment. If you keep getting your signals crossed, confusing love and lust, you may have to update your romantic radar to include partners who “just wanna have fun.” How? By learning to pay attention to what they’re actually telling you rather than what you want to hear. Just as no really does mean no, when someone says, “I’m not interested in a relationship, but I’d love to hook up,” chances are, they are telling the truth.

Whatever the reason for ending up in a lopsided relationship, there’s no reason to have to stay in one. Instead, take your newfound understanding, and move forward, knowing that with the right intent and perspective, your forever person will find their way into your life.

Don’t Be Too Stressed for Sex

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You know how it goes: It’s another evening, you both are home, but you’re tired. Your kids are never asleep. You feel uncomfortable in your body. Work is stressing you out. It’s an old story for anyone in a long-term relationship. There are so many reasons not to be intimate, especially when the pillow and the remote are so tempting and undemanding.

A healthy sex life is an important part of a relationship. Neglecting it and your partner can cause your relationship to falter and fray. Here are a few tips:

Help out

Where does stress come from? Some think that it’s unfinished housework; things that have piled up and other to dos that have gone undone. Your partner may be more pliable if they have less to do before they can relax. Besides, making sure your partner has a bit of wiggle room is always romantic.

Warm it up

Research shows that you are more likely to achieve climax if your feet are warm. It is unknown what the correlation is, but the coziness is definitely key. It may be that your feet are cold in times of stress. So warm up your feet and warm up the bedroom!

Perhaps a demonstration?

For some reason, it is hard for us to tell people what we want. This can be a problem when it comes to communicating wants and needs to a partner. Don’t be afraid. If you are close enough to someone to be in the situation in the first place, you should be able to tell or at least show what you want.

Something new

Trying out something new in the bedroom will not only brighten the spark in your relationship it will also go a long way to reducing your stress. You don’t have to go to extremes, like taking a gymnastics class or involving hardware, just change the few things. Maybe select some toys together or watch a spicy movie. Get a couple’s massage and let your instincts be your guide.

Intimacy is more than sex

Physical contact is just as intimate as sex. Cuddle and hug more. Close contact releases a chemical called oxytocin that helps put you in the mood for love.

Final Thoughts

Though sex does not make a relationship good or bad, making sure that you are being intimate can really change your relationship for the good. It is important that you take time to be intimate both in and out of bed in order to make your bedroom a place of joy and peace. Try out the things on this list and you can have a happier, less stressful life.

8 Signs You’re Too Attached to Your Man

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Whether you’re in a relationship or simply crushing on a guy, there are clear signs that you’re too attached to him. Even if he’s as obsessed with you as you are with him, your actions could be dangerous. You don’t want to develop unhealthy feelings or end up getting hurt.

Many people (especially women) equate loving a man with perpetual giving, submitting, and acquiescing. A woman may seem to have an endless supply of love to give to others but little to offer to herself. She tends to submit, thinking her role is to support rather than take the lead. Unfortunately, she often acquiesces her power in the relationship to help her man feel more powerful and remain dominant. A woman’s identity should not be dependent on proving her love. Nor should a man’s identity be defined by how well he provides. When a woman overly relies on feeling fulfilled by doing everything she can to make her man happy, she seldom realizes how little she gets in return.

The following signs will hopefully give you a bit of insight into behaviors that suggest you love your guy a bit too much:

Standing On Your Head To Make Him Happy

If your man is grumbling, distant, and uncommunicative, don’t take it as your cue to jump up and start catering to his needs. Fluffing his pillow or spending hours in the kitchen fixing his favorite meal won’t cure his woes. It will only exhaust you. Yes, he might seem like your everything. But doing “everything” for him demeans and enables him. Should you continue on this path, your man will likely see you like his mother rather than his lover and partner. Women often feel overly responsible for their men’s wounds and moods, worrying that they either caused or amplified them. In her eyes, she must have done something wrong to force him into silence and detach from her. A woman, therefore, sees it as her duty to nurture him into a mood change and may experience unnecessary shame or guilt.

Looking Up to Him and Looking Down on Yourself

Many women put men on a pedestal because of a collective legacy of feminine degradation. After all, myths tell us that the sun shines brightest, and the moon only glows because of the sun. For centuries, women have been brainwashed into believing a man’s intelligence is superior to all other genders. This conditioned belief is difficult to purge even for the most liberated and accomplished woman. If you place your guy on the highest rung, thinking he is more intelligent, capable, and ultimately more important, all that admiration will make you look and feel pathetic. Your adoration will likely only fuel an already too big ego and will only erode your sense of self-worth.

Abandoning Your Friends to Spend Every Waking Minute with Him

The worst thing a woman can do is deny herself time with her friends or from her hobbies. Concerned her partner will miss her too much, unable to fend for himself, she may get anxious over being met with disapproval if she spends too much time away from him. If you are the type to only contact friends when your mate is away or hang up the phone abruptly when he comes through the door, you might be damaging other relationships. For example, your friends are probably annoyed by your rude behavior. You also could be missing out on precious time to develop your favorite hobbies. When things aren’t running smoothly in a relationship, self-care practices like spending time alone or with good friends are essential. Make sure to listen to your friends when they offer support and advice.

Your Goals Don’t Matter As Much as His

Prioritizing your partner’s goals and abandoning your goals, whether a career choice, an educational opportunity, or a spiritual journey, only derail your quest for personal fulfillment. Perhaps you sacrifice too much to encourage him because you believe he deserves success more than you or because you don’t believe in yourself deep inside. However, if you put your personal goals on the back burner too long, your dreams will simmer away, and you may end up resenting both him and yourself.

Kissing Up Too Often

No matter what you believe, kissing up to your man won’t tame the beast in him. On the contrary, he will lose respect for you and complain even more. It is common for a woman to side with her mate, even if she knows he’s wrong, support poor decisions or refrain from giving advice. She may think she is proving her love and faith in him by keeping silent. If you find yourself the one to always say sorry first, taking the brunt of the blame for all arguments, you will lose self-respect, and your self-image will crumble. Sure, you may believe it is easier just to let him think he’s won, but he has lost something valuable too – his respect for you.

Submitting to Sex

Love and sex are simpatico in a woman’s mind. Yet, thinking a man has affection on his mind when he pushes or coerces her to have sex is not “lovemaking.” Letting a man have his way with you doesn’t honor the sacredness of true intimacy. You will likely feel used and even abused if, after countless times of saying “no,” you ultimately submit. Sex is an expression of love, not a duty. Remember, you have the right to say “no” at any point of intimacy, and he must stop, or it may be considered abuse.

He Gets Everything; You Get Nothing

He’s got every power tool available, a basement full of music equipment he doesn’t play, and just brought home a new Harley-Davidson saying it will save on gas. You? Your wardrobe consists of clothing found in the local thrift store, and you bought it with the change you had to dig out of the bottom of your purse. To make matters worse, you can’t help bringing him home “a little something” from time to time. Women who are in the practice of indulging their mates while denying themselves feel undeserving. They appear vicariously gratified just knowing their mate has it all. Just seeing him happy is enough for her.

Dismantling Your Boundaries

Some women let their mates push them into agreeing to do things they know will prove disastrous. For example, inviting his best friend to camp out in your living room for a month because their spouse kicked them out for being a slob. Maybe your guy brought home two stray dogs because they looked lonely should push you to set some limits. But no matter how frustrated you feel, you don’t have the heart to tell him this behavior is disrespectful and forces you to do extra work. So instead, you stay silent, not wanting him to think you are being “difficult.” But if you invariably dismantle your boundaries to accommodate your partner’s fragile heart, your heart will brim over with resentment. Loving someone means you respect him enough to set limits, expect that he treats you with respect, and makes compromises in as many meaningful ways as you give to him. A woman may have to fight her inclinations to submit and sacrifice in the name of love. If she yearns to receive love, she must first love herself enough to ask for what she needs and stop giving endlessly, thinking it maintains her space in his heart.

It is vital in every relationship to have balance, especially when it comes to parity in time, effort, and affection. Love is not an endless supply. It takes hard work, patience, and reciprocity. Set healthy boundaries and make sure you both respect one another’s limits. This will prevent you from overtaxing yourself or getting hurt. Finally, make sure you form your sense of identity and have a clear vision of your dreams and goals. A man worthy of your time and love will find ways to nurture and support you, as will for him.

Does Your Partner Love Your Pet?

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You’ve finally found the smart handsome guy that you have been looking for. You both have a lot of things in common except, he DOES NOT LIKE PETS. But, before you pre-judge your relationship, you need to know a few things and then you can make your decision whether to end the relationship and find another partner who adores pets or to stick to your new relationship and learn how to adapt to the new situation.

Why doesn’t your partner get along with your pet?

Not everyone loves pets, some are allergic, some have a negative experience with pets from childhood, some are just uncomfortable with them, some are unfamiliar with how to deal with them. They already have their own experience, and your precious pet is not going to change it!

BUT what if you are obsessed with your pet? What if your pet sleeps with you in bed? What if your animal sits with you on the couch? What if you bring them with you in your car? However, are you willing to ruin your relationship for your pet? Of course not, nobody wants even to think about it.

Before you let yourself fall in love, pay attention, this is a very important issue to discuss with your date right from the start, just make it clear to any date or even any potential date, that you are a completely committed pet parent.

You don’t have to stay single just because your partner doesn’t like your pet. And no need to get rid of your pet because there is no chemistry between your new partner and your dog! There are so many great men in the world who are proud and devoted pet owners.

Signs that your pet is ruining your relationship:

Your partner refuses to help with the pet.
If you argue a lot about your pet’s related issues.
Your partner started to ask whether you like your pet more.
You cancel on your partner, to spend more time with your pet.
Your partner mistreats your pet and shouts a lot at him.

What if you are new to having a pet attached to a relationship, there are some techniques for you and your partner to learn in order to adapt.

Compromise

Also having a pet involved in your relationship is good to understand and know your partner more, because pets are good excellent judges of character, and if an animal doesn’t like someone, there’s probably a good reason. You can also learn more about someone by how she/he treats animals, so it’s a good chance for you to know more about your date.

It’s easy to give your pet a lot of attention and care if you are single, but if you are in a relationship, you will have to make compromises. You will need to alter things a little bit such as walks, grooming and feeding times.

Also, sleeping with your pet in bed, may be too much for some people. You can buy a comfy pet bed and put it on the floor or even an ottoman, so your pet is still near you.

Allergy

Your partner may not be a pet person because of allergies. He/she may have a medical condition that prevents them from communicating with a pet. To solve that problem, you simply plan to have your own space away from your pet and consider having an outdoor pet house for your pet.

Being unfamiliar

Your partner is unfamiliar with pets because he didn’t grow up with one. He is not a pet hater, but he hasn’t been taught how to live with a pet in the same place. But as a pet owner, how will you help him adapt with your pet? The answer is very simple: teach him how to deal with them. Help him know how to give them a bath, feed them, walk them, and play with them.

Jealousy

Your new partner may get jealous of your pet. He/she needs to know that they are number one in your world. Help your partner see you have time for everyone in your life before he comes and asks you if you love your pet more!

Adopting a pet

What if both of you like pets? If so, why not think about raising your own pet. Believe it or not, raising a pet together may take your relationship to the next level. However, you need to discuss whether you both are willing to take a pet’s responsibilities together. You need to know who is going to pay for the pet’s food, vet’s bills, and clean after the pet.

You also need to plan ahead and discuss if the pet will stay in an indoor or outdoor house. Also, things like walking the pet and giving him a bath should be addressed.

And the most important thing you need to discuss is if you both have the time for this newcomer or not, and if not, you need to plan ahead to manage your time and share the pet’s responsibilities.

You also should have in detail discussions about why you need a pet at this stage. Is your partner planning to buy a new house with a nice backyard or maybe you are both feeling bored, and you need something new in your life.

To close

Being a pet owner is one of the greatest things that can happen to any of us, but if having a pet will result in ruining your relationships, than you need to make some sacrifices. For example, if you are the one who decided to bring the pet into your relationship, then you need to do a little extra work and spend more time to care for your pet.

It is not necessary that you and your partner agree on everything. You may find that your partner is simply less in love with your pet than you are, and this is acceptable as long as this doesn’t affect your relationship in a negative way.

Change Your Mantra, Change Your Life

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It’s part of human nature to talk to ourselves. The key is to discover what we are saying and figuring out if the message is right. When we change from a negative message to an empowering one, we can alter the course of our lives. For me, I know I’m going to talk to myself, the question is: What am I saying?

Becoming mindful of the messages we rehearse allows us to modify them. Adopting a new mantra empowers transformation as we internalize a new life script. Here’s how it works. Let’s say you regularly tell yourself that you’re stuck or that you don’t know what to do next. On the surface this may look like discouragement and worry. Underneath it is an internal script made up of messages replaying in your mind and heart that shape how you think about yourself and how you respond to your situation.

Your Mantra Keeps You Positive and Strong

Do you buy new outfits to change your look as the seasons change? Do you change your mantra just as often as you can? If not, it may be time to. That’s because the same mantra doesn’t always work for us, year after year. If your well-being or path towards change is feeling stagnant or slow, it may be time to change things up. Ask yourself these questions to see if it’s time for a change:

1. Am I happy?
2. How is my health?
3. Am I using my creative energy?
4. Do I have a good life?
5. Do I enjoy the company of others?
6. Do I pay my bills on time?
7. Do I have a savings account, and do I put money into it regularly?
8. Do I like my job?
9. Do I have good friends who treat me as well as I treat them?
10. Do I have a Plan B?
11. Do I have a strong sense of self?

11 is the Number of Enlightenment

You should ask yourself these 11 questions because 11 is the number of enlightenment. If you’ve answered “no” to any of these questions, you are not working toward your highest good and it’s definitely time to change your mantra. Mantras are a sound that you can say out loud or in your mind to bring a sense of peace and joy to your life. It is also possible and a good idea to have positive affirmations that can be used as mantras to deal with special needs that occur at different times.

Some of My Favorite Mantras

One of my favorite mantras is from the lovely Tim Gunn. He says, “Make It Work.” This can be used when frustrated and, in a mood, where you are feeling like there is no way to get it done.

“I am bigger then my problems” is another mantra that lets you release negative thoughts about situations and allows you to find peace of mind so that you can accomplish your task.

“Today I will live in the moment” helps you take it one day at a time to develop what is needed to stay focused.

“Challenges and hurdles allow me to rise to my highest self” means that you are ready to take on a good challenge.

“I give as good as I get” makes you think about whether you give freely or with condition. This mantra rings in karmic energy.

“I will have ‘me’ time today.” How often do you really take time for yourself? Life moves so quickly that we often find ourselves too tired to do anything other than the daily grind.

Positive and Strong

If used properly, mantras work throughout our lives to keep us positive and strong. Mantras are the keys that unlock worry, ease the mind and release more mental energy. When we commit to taking care of ourselves on all levels (mind, body, and spirit), we find that we can run like a finely tuned machine.

Decode what Your Dreams Mean

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While some dreams are mysterious, understanding the meaning of our dreams is more than a mystery–it can be downright baffling. What we’re dreaming about can suddenly change. Our dreams can include outrageous elements. Our dreams can be very scary and terrify us with frightening images. The fact that dreams can be so rich and compelling is what causes many to believe that there must be some deeper meaning to our dreams.

Whether you get to know your dreams more intimately through understanding the messages that come from the subconscious to the conscious mind or not, dreams are an important part of your being, and can contribute greatly to your health and to your happiness.

Dreams are a valuable source of information that’s available to anyone who desires to decode their symbolism. Dreams are a place where you can learn about yourself. Some say that dreaming is more honest than our waking consciousness and that in our dreams we reveal our true feelings—especially about the most important issues in our lives.

Finding the meaning of your dreams is a very personal exercise. Once you can understand how your own associations work, you will have the ability to interpret your dreams. Many people believe that a single dream can have multiple levels of meaning woven into it.

Keep a Dream Journal

If you are interested in figuring out the meaning of your dreams, create your own dream journal and dream dictionary. Keep a journal next to your bed with a pen and write down everything you remember about a dream as soon as you awaken from it.

Be sure to leave plenty of space so you can later add impressions and interpretations of what the dream may have meant. With the added impressions and interpretations, this journal becomes your own personal dream dictionary.

But when it comes to decoding dreams, professionally written dream dictionaries can help, too. So can dream interpreters, who have both psychological and metaphysical knowledge of dreams and their meanings.

But in the end, you are the only one who will be able to decide what you think your dreams really mean. Each person has their own symbols and connections that their own mind thinks about and uses to communicate via dreams. So only you can know for sure what your dreams mean.

Humor and Happiness

Enjoy dreaming! Your dreams can be a place of entertainment where you can enjoy yourself. It’s been said that the healthiest people are those who are happy. Use your dreams as a means to achieve that happiness. Dreaming can put you into a positive mood that can last all day. That positive mood can affect your psychological structure and lead you into all kinds of positive experiences.

Use your dream journal in a way to have fun with what you’ve written, and even laugh at what you’ve written! Let the dreams and your accounts of them amuse you. The dream world is limitless. You may even be able to learn how to lucid dream, which means that you’re aware you’re dreaming and can be in control of your dreams.

Pay close attention to your dreams. You may gain a deeper understanding of yourself and of your feelings. Look at it this way: dreams can act as keys to the doorways you have within yourself. Open those doors!

The I Ching and it’s History

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The sixty-four archetypes of the I Ching (Book of Changes) has been a part of this book of wisdom since 1070 BCE. These archetypes include all the six-line combinations of yin and yang that make up the hexagrams that are the basis of the I Ching. Yin and Yang are the symbols of perfect balance. They signify female and male, light and dark. The hexagrams are symbolic of the sixty- four types of relationships.

The hexagrams can be viewed in a myriad of ways. If you divide them, they become trigrams that represent the basic elements of earth, thunder, wind, fire, mountain, lake, and sky. It is from the trigrams that we get Feng Shui, the art of placement.

Myths of the I Ching

The myths that are around the beginnings of the eight trigrams are part of the I Ching. One is about the first emperor of China, Fu Hsi. He is said to have seen a turtle emerge from the Yellow River. He knew that wisdom comes for the observation of nature, and he realized that the eight symbols he saw on the turtles back were representative of the reflection of the movement of life on Earth through energy.

There are other myths connected to Fu Hsi’s examination of nature. He saw signs and symbols everywhere and he identified trigrams in all of these. He linked this knowledge to balance of yin and yang.

This isn’t the only occurrence of tortoises and their role in divination. There is evidence that the shells of the tortoise were heated to the point of cracking. These patterns were read. There are artifacts that depicted the demarcation of interpretation. These are on display at the National Museum in Taiwan.

Shang Dynasty

Then there are legends about the queens of the Shang Dynasty who were descendants of an ancient family of diviners These women read the shells of live turtles. This legend may be factual as archeologists compile information. Even in Chinese traditions it states that the combination of yin and yang and the mythology of creation in China created the basis of I Ching.

King Wen at the end of the Shang Dynasty used his imprisonment as on opportunity to focus on the trigrams. He put them together to make the sixty-four hexagrams. He assigned meanings to the combinations and gave them names. His son added some interpretations which helped move the I Ching towards the way it exists now.

Contributions of Confucius

It was Confucius, a hundred years later, who took the existing form to a new level by adding his own commentaries based on his mediations. This Book of Changes was part of the ancient oral traditions of China. It is said that they were composed int the Eighth Century BCE. It was 1300 years before the specific interpretations came into use. It was spared from destruction because it was considered a great classic.

Han Dynasty

During the Han Dynasty the I Ching was studied by scholars, and at the turn of the millennium, new additions were made in regard to the lines in the trigrams.

Current I Ching

The current I Ching is still basically the same as it was in 168 BCE. The subtle changes happened around 300 AD. Despite its ancient wisdom, the Western World didn’t fully embrace it until a relatively recent 150 years ago.

Currently the most common way to cast the I Ching is to toss three coins six times. This creates the hexagram. The more traditional way uses the selection and sorting of fifty yarrow stalks. After the coins or stalks are cast, the interpretations are then gleaned from the book itself.