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Being in Control of Your Own Relationships

So much is out of our control when it comes to love. As much as we would like to be able to force somebody to fall in love with us, one thing we just can’t control is other peoples’ emotions. Further, as much as we might want a romantic relationship to last, we simply don’t know what the future might hold.

But there are some things in your love life that can be controlled, and then used to help create vibrant, lasting romantic relationships. Here are some of the things you can control:

The amount of effort that you put into your love life.

You get from a relationship what you put into it, just like so many other things in your life. This is true whether someone is still involved in the dating scene or if they’re already in a solid relationship. It’s completely up to each person the amount of energy they’re willing to spend on love.

You and only you get to decide the amount of effort you’re going to expend to go on dates, to respond to messages, or to create an online dating profile. You are also in control of the amount of effort you choose to put into showing your loved one your appreciation and how deeply you care for them.

How low or high you set your standards.

You are the only one who knows the type of partner that would be best for you, and the qualities you look for in others so you can thrive in the relationship together. Don’t let yourself settle for someone who’s less than what you’re looking for out of loneliness, or because you think that they’ll be good enough for the short term and might change for the long term.

Conversely, try to be realistic about what type of person you think you need so you can be happy with them. Remember, nobody is perfect! The way you decide the necessary characteristics in a romantic partner versus what would just be nice to have is one thing you can control. It is something that can have a major impact on the course of your future love life.

Your level of honesty.

We’ve all heard the old saying that honesty is the best policy. Besides being an old saying, it’s the truth. Honesty is a critical component of healthy relationships, especially romantic ones. When you’re involved in a romantic relationship, you have control over discussing with your partner things like how serious you want the relationship to be, what your personal life goals are, and if you want to have kids someday.

It’s also up to you to decide if you’re going to be honest to yourself about your feelings for your partner. Being honest to yourself about what you want and need in the relationship and what you will give in the relationship will help you to know what you want in your life.

Your level of vulnerability.

It can be difficult to really allow someone into your life and your heart. This is especially true if your past includes hurt as a result of relationships. But the level of openness and vulnerability you choose to show in a relationship is totally up to you.

You control which aspects of yourself you want to show, and when you want to show them. You get to decide what you prefer to keep hidden until you’re feeling more certain and comfortable in this relationship. This aspect includes discussions about the number of people involved in your romantic past or revealing information about the challenges and traumas you may have faced.

The amount of love you give.

The main reason for people to find a romantic partner is to receive and to give love. You have control over deciding when to fall in love, and when you’re ready to use words to express your love to that special someone. You also have control over deciding who deserves your love. This should give you the confidence you need to share your heart with somebody who really appreciates and loves you.

Everyone deserves to experience love in their lives. You deserve to be happy and fulfilled.

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Learning from Romantic Relationships

Romantic Relationships

Having a significant other provides people with fulfillment, companionship, and someone to hang out and relax with. But being involved in a romantic relationship can also serve as a way to learn about yourself. You can learn more about who you are, and about who you want to be, not only as a member of the relationship, but as a person. Being in a partnership can allow you to discover very much about yourself.

Here are some of the key things you may learn:

How vulnerable you’re willing to be. A romantic relationship needs a certain level of intimacy to genuinely develop. Each person involved must be willing to trust each other with their heart. This involves letting down your guard and allows you not only to reap all of the emotional benefits involved in being in a relationship with someone, but also to be a worthwhile partner.

The type of person you are in your relationship reveals how vulnerable you are able to be. If you’re consistently distant, you’re likely feeling concern over being hurt. Another possibility is that you consider vulnerability to be a weakness. Conversely, if you’re willing to throw caution to the wind and dive right in, you may become too deeply involved too quickly, and may need to safeguard your heart more carefully.

How well you compromise. It’s often said that relationships involve both give and take. Unless you and your partner agree on virtually everything, you will not get what you want all the time. Learning how to defer properly to your partner is important.

Are you continually rolling over and giving the other person what they want in every situation, or do you find yourself always fighting to the death to get your own way? Are there some battles that are more important to you than others? Your answers to those questions reveal much about how well you compromise in your romantic relationship.

How you deal with conflict. Arguments are a component of every relationship, whether romantic or not. Couples who never disagree are likely holding in their reactions. It’s perfectly okay for you and your partner to argue occasionally.

The teachable lesson relates to how you deal with conflict. Do you find that you start all of the arguments, or do you retreat the moment you notice that a fight is brewing? Do you hold grudges and bring past misdeeds into every argument? How you argue is a very important point to consider.

How independent or dependent you can be. Some people lose themselves in the partnership when they’re involved in a romantic relationship. They leave their distinct self behind as they take on their partner’s hobbies, friends, routines, and friends. Other people keep a stranglehold on their independence and push their partner away so they can hold on to their autonomy.

But it’s possible to strike a balance between the two extremes. The way you adapt as an individual person when you’re joining your life with someone else can show how high of a value you place on your own self. It can also serve as a reflection of how you believe people are supposed to act and behave when in relationships.

How true to yourself you are when in a relationship. It can be rough to being alone. But you should never be willing to settle, regardless of how much you want to be with someone. And you should avoid trying to become the type of person you think other people will want to be with.

It’s certainly okay for people to show the sexiest, best, most most attractive components of themselves when beginning a relationship. But it’s important to make sure that throughout the process, you’re being true to yourself.

How you receive love and give love. A romantic relationship is usually all about love. So, one more critical lesson can learn about is how you receive and how you give love. The way you want to be cared for yourself can differ greatly from the way you choose to show your partner that you care.

Understanding these differences is important as you seek someone to be with long term. When you and your partner genuinely understand the ways the two of you receive and give love and then act on this knowledge, your relationship will be a successful and fulfilling one.

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Dreaming of an Unfaithful Partner

Envisioning an Unfaithful Partner

If you have every woken up angry at your partner because you had a dream that they were unfaithful, you’re not alone.  Many people have had this experience. There they are, blissfully slumbering, enjoying a few hours in dreamland, when suddenly, there it is; the vision of the love of your life in the arms of someone else.  It’s horrifying, not uncommon, and more often than not, completely untrue.

Even when a dream like that turns out to be true, you might not actually be psychic.  More than likely, it means that you have picked up on some subtle clues and hints noting the changes in your partners behavior. Signs include any sudden change in their appearance, a new wardrobe or cologne.  These signs may have been collected by your subconscious and then manifested into a dream.  This type of dream is usually caused by stress or anxiety.

If you dreamed that you caught your love in the arms of another, it means that you are worried about something you find lacking in your own life, something that is making you doubt your own self-worth.  If you dream that you are the unfaithful one, it means that you are feeling pangs of guilt caused by other things.  Most of the time, these dreams aren’t even related to your relationship.

If there is anything in your waking life that you feel uncomfortable about; not working as hard as you should (no one’s looking anyway) or you looked the other way when someone needed you, or you ignored a phone call from a family member, this guilt can lurk in your subconscious and come out as a dream of something you would never do.

The dreams of your love in the arms of another come from a place of fear.  The fear could be coming from anything. Problems at work, a forgotten bill or parking ticket or any kind of fear can pop up as the fear of being cheated on.

It is also possible that your dream of infidelity comes from a fear of abandonment. When you are a child, you are almost powerless when it comes to the details of your life. If you lose a parent through divorce or death, you can feel as if you were left behind.   If you moved around a lot when you were young, you may feel displaced and insecure about your friendships.

Thus, these insecurities can appear again as a dream of being the victim of a faithless spouse.  And even though your dream is not rooted in the reality of your relationship, it is healthy to think about what could be causing your dream. Work on the problems like trust and fear.  If these problems, go unresolved it can unravel events strongest of relationships.

While working on yourself and your lack of trust or by visiting problems that you are facing and facing your fear, you will be working on your relationship along the way. Having a strong inner self can help to make your relationship stronger and can help to keep away unnecessary drama.

No matter who is the villain in the nightly drama of your dreams, it is valuable to revisit the specifics of your dreams. Very often the cast of characters in your dream symbolize the people in your waking life.   Making these connections can help guide you through your feelings of anxiety and insecurity.

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When Valentine’s Day Has You Down

Valentine’s Day Has You Down

Valentine’s Day is indeed the most romantic and sweetest day of the year, but with all that romance comes a lot of pressure—and probably some unmet expectations. That’s because you may have built up in your mind how your partner should profess their love for you. You may also compare yourself to other people and their celebrations.

If Valentine’s Day ends up leaving you feeling more disappointed than loved, here are six things you can do to work through your disappointments and make your relationship stronger.

  1. Check Your Expectations
    You may have certain expectations when it comes to Valentine’s Day, but maybe what you really need is a reality check. Were you expecting diamonds and a gourmet dinner when you know that your partner is stressed out over money? You may be expecting too much. Were you expecting a marriage proposal when you know your partner isn’t ready for marriage? You may be expecting too much.

The thing about expectations is that if you don’t share what yours are, they aren’t going to be met. You partner isn’t a mind reader, and if Valentine’s Day wasn’t celebrated in a way you saw fit, it’s likely because you didn’t communicate your expectations. You should have said something.

  1. Acknowledge the Positive
    Instead of focusing on what your partner didn’t do, or the ways they fell short, redirect your attention to the ways they showed their love. Not everyone speaks the same romantic language—your partner refilling your car’s washer fluid may be a labor of love even if you don’t interpret the gesture that way.

Perhaps your honey bought you flowers, but they aren’t your favorite ones. Or maybe your beloved opted to go out for dinner when you wished they had cooked for you. Let’s be honest: These are not real disappointments.

  1. Resist the Urge to Be Passive Aggressive
    Being direct with your feelings is hard work. It forces you to be vulnerable and it puts you in an uncomfortable position of believing you are worthy of expressing your needs. As a result, it may feel easier to be cold or give the silent treatment to your partner in the days after Valentine’s Day instead of communicating your disappointment. But being honest and open is worth more than a dozen roses. In fact, having the courage to express yourself will bring your relationship to a more authentic place.
  2. Talk to Your Partner
    Explain to your partner how you feel post-Valentine’s Day. Don’t blame or point fingers. Use “I” statements to express your disappointment and take responsibility if you didn’t share your holiday wants with them. This way, your partner won’t feel attacked, and they will be more open to hearing your feelings. You never know, maybe they were expecting you to do something for them!
  3. Share Your Romantic Wants
    Use this situation as an opportunity to share your perspective on Valentine’s Day—and romance in general. Share what gestures you find romantic and be curious about what your partner has to say on the topic. You both want each other to feel loved and cared for; you may just have different ideas of what that really means. This is a great chance for you two to connect and deepen your understanding of your respective love languages.
  4. Reevaluate the Relationship
    If all of the above just doesn’t apply to your particular situation, then you may have a bigger issue on your hands. Maybe you did clearly express your needs, and your partner chose not to listen. Perhaps you said how much you love Valentine’s Day and you really wanted to do something special, and your partner just didn’t seem to care. If your disappointment runs deeper than just this holiday, examine if this is the partnership you want to be in.

The Effects of Modern Technology on People Relationships

Effects of Modern Technology on People Relationships

Technology has massively improved our collective ability to communicate, but if we’re not careful, technology will ruin relationships. While technology allows us to keep in touch with faraway friends and family and can help us “see” them via video chatting, it can also help us ignore the people in the same house, neighborhood, and town. Making plans, checking in with your partner or finding a date is as easy as sending a text message. However, is using technology to make plans or to express affection as good as talking in person?

The digital strides we’ve made may allow us to stay in touch with everyone, but they can harm our real-life connections. Keep yourself in check by making sure you don’t let the following four actions become bad habits to the point where technology ruins relationships.

Paying More Attention to Your Devices Than to In-Person Conversations 
Everyone has been guilty of this at some point or another. You’re at home with your partner hanging out or you’re at dinner with friends and you can’t stop looking at your cell phone. Maybe there’s work drama playing out over email. Maybe you “need” to check this week’s fantasy football picks or maybe Instagram is beckoning.

Whatever the reason, looking at your phone while you’re spending time with other people is not only rude, but it also signals to those you’re with that they’re not really all that important to you. Don’t dismiss your friends and loved ones. Instead, learn to detach from your device when you’re together.

Keeping Up with Friends Only Through social media
Facebook makes it so easy to stay in-the-know about what’s going on in your pals’ lives. But simply “liking” or commenting on friends’ statuses and photos certainly aren’t enough to keep a true relationship going. For acquaintances, digital correspondence is fine, but you shouldn’t congratulate your best friend on her engagement via wall post.

Make the effort to reach out to your friends over the phone, or even through email. If time is tight, wait until you have a few free minutes before reaching out.

Bringing Your Phone to Bed
Technology ruins relationships in the bedroom and there’s nothing less sexy than bringing your phone to bed. When you’re scrolling your news feed, engrossed in the mundane world of social media, you’re signaling to your partner that you’re not interested in having sex. (If you’re not, this is a great way to avoid it.) However, if you want to be intimate, put your phone away and make your bedroom a tech-free sanctuary for sleep and sex only.

Comparing Your Relationships to the Ones You See Online
To compare is to despair. It’s all too easy to take in the photos and posts you see on social media and assume that everyone else has a happier relationship, life, and family than you do. It only seems that way because most people don’t post pictures of their fights and frustrations. They don’t take pictures of their messy bathrooms or the dirty dishes that have been in the sink for three days.

While social media is a way for people to share their lives, know that what they are sharing is curated—you’re seeing the best of the best. If you start feeling down about yourself and your relationships while viewing social media, it’s time to take a long break from it before technology ruins relationships.

Is Your Boyfriend Cheating with Your Best Friend?

Boyfriend Cheating

Your boyfriend and your best friend—the two people you’re supposed to trust the most are copping off behind your back. What could be worse! Although it’s true that sisterhood is supposed to prevail in this day and age, people commonly betray each other in horrible ways such as this.

The worst thing is that it challenges your trust in both women and men. It can be hard to enter into a relationship the same way, and it is now more difficult to seek solace from your girlfriends. According to Kuriansky, cheating is the ultimate betrayal; but how do you respond without stooping to their level?

Here are some coping methods to use in your time of darkness.

You Deserve to be Angry

You shouldn’t give in to urges to beat your best friend about the head no matter how much they hurt you. You should go to therapy instead, seeking the help of a professional guide to get through this trying period in your life. Also, don’t forget that you still have some real friends, so you should confide in them.

The pain will pass, but to paraphrase the advice of divorce attorney Stacy Phillips, you should be sure to allow it to pass before you get settled into your next relationship; otherwise, you will only bring anger and resentment into that other person’s life, potentially ruining your chances to have a good shot at it.

Notice the Silver Lining

Remember that the only thing that has changed in your life is that you have discovered the truth. Your boyfriend was sleeping with your best friend anyway; you have merely put an end to the ignorance.

Yes, it hurts that you still believed you had a good thing going on for so long only to have the rug pulled from beneath your feet in such a manner. Picking up on the advice of mentor Joan Bramsch, your goal should now work towards the acceptance of this silver lining.

It’s worth bearing in mind that this doesn’t have to be an absolutely terrible thing: it can be a learning curve. In the next point, we look at how to build upon your experience in a natural and healthy way.

Think Over Your Past Decisions

This isn’t your fault, but there are some judgements that you should review. For instance: How solid was your relationship with your partner? Similarly, how solid was your relationship with your BFF? Looking back, were there any signs that you decided to brush under the carpet? Were there any signs that now stand out as seeming suspicious?

This isn’t something to do too early on; you need to give yourself time to get over it first. But reviewing your judgement can help to assess the situation from an objective viewpoint before heading into your next relationship. That way, you can learn to spot ugly behavior before it manifests into something toxic.

Some Signs

This situation can be one of the most mind-blowing a person can encounter. If you’ve no idea what telltale signs you’re looking for, here are some helpful pointers.

  • Your BFF is making less effort to speak to you, and something seems off when she does talk to you.
  • Your BFF laughs a whole lot at your boyfriend’s jokes—even when they’re not funny.
  • Your BFF is asking a great deal of questions about your partner that seem to overstep certain boundaries.

Of course, your boyfriend is also to blame—it takes two to tango, after all—so in that case, you need to confront his behavior. With both parties, you need to be wary: never confront them outright, but just ask sly questions like, “I know you’d never betray me,” etc.

Distance from your best friend can work wonders. If you believe she is crushing on your man, spend a bit of time apart. If you believe your boyfriend is crushing on your BFF, be sure to ask yourself whether or not that is the relationship for you. He could well be the common denominator, after all—and you don’t need that kind of negativity in your life.

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Effects Of Technology In Relationship

Technology In Relationship

Technology has massively improved our collective ability to communicate, but if we’re not careful, technology will ruin relationships. While technology allows us to keep in touch with faraway friends and family and can help us “see” them via video chatting, it can also help us ignore the people in the same house, neighborhood, and town.

Making plans, checking in with your partner or finding a date is as easy as sending a text message. However, is using technology to make plans or to express affection as good as talking in person?

The digital strides we’ve made may allow us to stay in touch with everyone, but they can harm our real-life connections. Keep yourself in check by making sure you don’t let the following four actions become bad habits to the point where technology ruins relationships.

  1. Paying More Attention to Your Devices Than to In-Person Conversations 
    Everyone has been guilty of this at some point or another. You’re at home with your partner hanging out or you’re at dinner with friends and you can’t stop looking at your cell phone. Maybe there’s work drama playing out over email. Maybe you “need” to check this week’s fantasy football picks or maybe Instagram is beckoning.

Whatever the reason, looking at your phone while you’re spending time with other people is not only rude, it signals to those you’re with that they’re not really all that important to you. Don’t dismiss your friends and loved ones. Instead, learn to detach from your device when you’re together.

  1. Keeping Up with Friends Only Through social media
    Facebook makes it so easy to stay in-the-know about what’s going on in your pals’ lives. But simply “liking” or commenting on friends’ statuses and photos certainly aren’t enough to keep a true relationship going.

For acquaintances, digital correspondence is fine but you shouldn’t congratulate your best friend on her engagement via wall post. Make the effort to reach out to your friends over the phone, or even through email. If time is tight, wait until you have a few free minutes before reaching out.

  1. Bringing Your Phone to Bed
    Technology ruins relationships in the bedroom and there’s nothing less sexy than bringing your phone to bed.

When you’re scrolling your news feed, engrossed in the mundane world of social media, you’re signaling to your partner that you’re not interested in having sex. (If you’re not, this is a great way to avoid it.) However, if you want to be intimate, put your phone away and make your bedroom a tech-free sanctuary for sleep and sex only.

  1. Comparing Your Relationships to the Ones You See Online
    To compare is to despair. It’s all too easy to take in the photos and posts you see on social media and assume that everyone else has a happier relationship, life, and family than you do. It only seems that way because most people don’t post pictures of their fights and frustrations. They don’t take pictures of their messy bathrooms or the dirty dishes that have been in the sink for three days.

While social media is a way for people to share their lives, know that what they are sharing is curated—you’re seeing the best of the best. If you start feeling down about yourself and your relationships while viewing social media, it’s time to take a long break from it before technology ruins relationships.

How to Have a Great Relationship, Now

Great Relationship

As a psychic advisor, I am receiving a lot of calls about love and relationships. The truth is that we all want to be loved. We all want to have love in our lives and yet at times we treat love as though it’s a lottery ticket. We’re just waiting to see the winning numbers, when instead we should just walk with love. We treat love as though it’s something to possess or something that proves to us that we are worthy. And yet, we are all worthy of love, aren’t we?

Sometimes we lose the experience of being in relationship because we are so busy looking to get somewhere in a relationship—that promise or that ring, that wedding day, that shared dwelling place. There is never a guarantee. Yet there are some things we can do in order to make the most of the romantic relationships we’re in.

Here are my top five suggestions:

  1. Rather than worry about what they might do tomorrow, be present with them today.

It is easy to get caught up in worry when we are attached to someone—worry that they will leave, worried that we will make a mistake, worried that this might not be “the one.” Instead of worrying about the future, be present, enjoy the moment and take it all in. Why forgo the happiness you could have today by worrying about not having it to tomorrow?

  1. Stop trying to control their behavior, thinking it will guarantee the outcome you desire.

You could be controlling your partner in many ways. Do you tell them who they can socialize with and how often as a means of trying to guarantee their loyalty and fidelity? Do you try to control what they eat, how they dress and how they spend their money? If you love them, let them be themselves. Nothing destroys a relationship faster than someone trying to control the relationship and their partner. You can’t prevent deception with control. If they are going to deceive you, they will find a way, no matter how much control you think you have.

  1. Stop taking turns 

Stop playing the “whose turn is it” game. If you’re keeping track of how many times you did the dishes or how many times, they took out the garbage, you’re missing the point of a relationship. Relationships aren’t always 50/50. That means you both won’t be putting an equal amount of effort into it all the time. But that’s okay. It’s about taking care of each other, not keeping score. If you lose some of that pride, you may improve your relationship!

  1. Stop editing your partner’s words to fit your own story. 

Don’t read between the lines and look for insults where there are none. Listen to your partner’s words and ask for clarification when needed. There is nothing worse than being in a relationship that lacks communication and understanding.

  1. Don’t put the failures of your last relationship onto this partner.

Don’t bring the woes of your last relationship into this relationship and don’t compare your current partner to your last partner. Every person deserves a fair chance. If you’re waiting for this partner to make the same mistakes as your last partner, or repeat the same patterns, you are potentially damaging your relationship.

Think of it as a pair of old glasses. If your old glasses cause you to draw comparisons between your current partner and your old partner, put on a new pair of glasses! If you can’t help but make comparisons, you should consider resolving the issues from your previous relationships before trying again with someone new.

Many people call psychics because they want to know what the future holds for them. But nothing is static, and nothing is etched in blood in the universal fabric, so I suggest you call a psychic and ask about improving your present situation, first.

This article is just a sample of some of the advice I offer my callers. If you want to learn more about yourself and how you can love better, call me.

Can You Make Your Relationship Last?

Relationships

It’s a cliche that says, “It’s better to have loved and lost, than to have never loved at all” Well… in contrary to a Walt Disney movie, love isn’t always everlasting. ‘Happily, Ever After’ is now a thing of fairytales.

With divorce rates skyrocketing and the ‘seven-year itch’ tingling after only three, finding ways to keep longevity in a relationship can be quite daunting and many opt to head for the hills rather than commit the time and effort to salvage their relationships.

According to the government census, 3.6% of every 1,000 people were divorced in 2006 and fewer than 5% of divorcing couples sought marriage counseling. There are several things couples can do to keep their relationships healthy, passionate, and long lasting. Up for the challenge?

Communicate:

Talk to you partner! Lack of communication can make or break relationships, whether it be friends, family, or significant others. Communicating thoughts and feelings, whether good or bad, can be healthy in a relationship.

Your partner may not like some of the things you have to say, but if you have enough respect and love for each other, they will take your feelings and opinions into consideration. Holding feelings or concerns back can lead to stress, resentment or even hatred for the other person.

Keep Dating:

You’re both extremely busy with family and careers and really don’t have much one-on-one time? Make time. Initially dating is part of a courtship, but as time passes, couples feel that going out to dinner or catching a movie is no longer necessary.

Choose a day of the week to be your ‘date night.’ This will give you the chance to get away from the stresses of work and home life and allow you to spend alone time together. These dates can strengthen your relationship and give you a chance to catch up.

Remain Intimate:

At first the sex was new, exciting, and passionate. Now it’s monotonous, boring and something you can do without. Sex alone can put a strain on a relationship. When a partner is bored or loses interest, they may stray.

Keep your sex life fresh by doing little things to excite your partner. Come home early from work and have a candlelit dinner prepared. The catch…? Serve him in lingerie. Sex shouldn’t feel like a chore or an obligation. Be open to trying new things sexually.

Refer to a Kama Sutra book or even a close friend for advice and find out about new techniques you can try in the bedroom. This could surprise and even turn your partner on, while showing them that you are making an effort to keep the passion in your relationship.

Before throwing in the towel on your relationship, realize what it is that you have together and that will help you determine if your relationship is worth the fight. Besides…nothing good ever came easy!

Breaking the Barriers from Friends to Lovers

Breaking the Barriers from Friends to Lovers

Although tricky, the line between friendship and romance can be crossed. It is nothing new for friends to have a hidden crush between them. This crush may be held back by fear of losing the friendship all together. Along with the fear is excitement, because, after all, what could be more exciting than a romantic partner who is also a good friend? It can be done if you follow a few guidelines.

 Maintain Honesty

By entertaining the possibility of romance has already changed the perspective of your friendship.  You may feel that you have to hide your thoughts from you potential partner. If you would tell your friend anything, why change things now?

If honesty has played a major role in the friendship, keep to that.   Be honest by discussing the change in the way you view your friend.  Let them know that above all, you treasure your friendship. A great romance can blossom on the foundation of your friendship

Assume Nothing

Don’t assume that your friend knows about your feelings. You can’t assume that your friend will forsake all others, so don’t expect him/her to act as if you are there one and only if you haven’t discussed it.

Keep open the lines of communication.   If you both want your friendship to change into romance, be honest.  If your friend doesn’t not share your feelings, honestly discuss your disappointment, and move on.

Lip Service to Change

If you friendship begins to bloom into love, treat them like a lover.  Step up your meetings from casual to date like.  Take the initiative by being romantic. Honor this change as special as your love is for each other.

Things to Consider

It is widely thought that men and women can’t be friends in the first place. The belief is that men can’t view a woman as anything but a sex partner and that women can’t fully communicate with a man without trying to conquer him through seduction. There are few things to think about if you want to cross this barrier.

Whenever you are spending time together as friends, initiate some touching by offering a back rub or lightly touching him/her while you are talking.  Make sure you are dressing as if you would for a date. This may help your friend look at you from a different perspective.

If things don’t take off from there, start a discussion about becoming more than friends just to see how your friend feels. Be prepared to back up your assertion that you can remain friends if the feelings aren’t mutual.

Before you start the process ask yourself if you really mean that this will not ruin your friendship and if you can handle the disappointment if your relationship doesn’t change the way you want to.   Acknowledge that your feelings might not be reciprocated.  Know that you are taking a chance.  No matter what happens, be true to yourself.

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