Using your intuition is something that tends to be generally frowned on by our society. Most decisions are made with our reasoning, rather than our gut instincts. Sure, sometimes there are so many decisions to make throughout the course of the day that we go into autopilot mode, use our instincts and hope for the best, but it’s not often that we use our gifts. And that’s a shame because intuition is a finely crafted tool, honed by millions of years of evolution.
But when you meet someone for the first time, no amount of reasoning will help you to determine if they’re “the one”, or even if you like them or not. This is when that tool, your intuition, can be the most useful. It’s really the only tool you have available to use because even the best conversation with the person doesn’t mean that you know them. You left relying on your gut instinct, and that doesn’t have to be a bad thing.
Here are a few tips on how to use your intuition to find “the one”.
Vibes and nonverbal cues
One study stated that at least 93% of communication is nonverbal. Now, the study itself was a bit flawed, so it’s very likely that this number isn’t quite accurate. Rather than focusing on the number, let this be your take away: the way that we determine whether we like someone or not and what sort of vibe we get from them is through nonverbal communication. The first impression is made with things like posture, clothes and hair. From there, you’ll get a vibe.
Interpreting vibes can be tricky. When you first meet someone, you could notice that your nerves tingle and your face is flushed. Of course this COULD mean that this person is your soulmate, but it could also be some other signal, such as a warning. So understandably, it can be hard to read the initial signals that your intuition puts off.
One thing you can do to make your intuition’s meaning clearer is to flip a coin.
This method isn’t about chance. But while it’s in the air, you will notice that you’ll hope for a specific outcome. Whatever you’re hoping for is how you feel. That’s your intuition talking. Go with it.
Why does this work? Well to answer that, you’ll first need to know more about what ancient people believe about soulmates. Many ancient people thought that soulmates were actually one soul that was split into, as is exhibited in Plato’s twin flame separation theory. They thought that logic, thought and reasoning could actually keep a person from finding and being reunited with their soulmate (which probably sucked for Plato). So, forcing yourself to make a decision forces you to use your intuition and trust your gut, rather than reasoning.
Write it out
After a date, you’re left wondering if you’re actually falling in love with them, whether it’s just lust, or if it’s something else entirely. Since we know that obsessing over it isn’t the answer, what can we do instead?
Sit yourself down and write it out. Write down everything you feel about the date, and the person in question. Is this a person you want to spend as much time as possible with, or just sleep with on occasion?
This is a free writing exercise with no structure or intention outlined. Just write down whatever comes into your mind, even if it’s embarrassing. This will let you figure out what your intuition is saying. But don’t plan it out, censor, or edit yourself. Otherwise, the point of the writing is lost.
Pay attention to warnings
Your intuition can act as an instinct to warn you about danger. If something feels wrong or you feel panicked, this is your intuition speaking to you. You can use this instinct when it comes to dating and relationships, too. It doesn’t matter if you’re with a person who seems great, if something feels “off” with them, pay attention to that feeling.
Don’t just go tell the person that something is off with them, as this could obviously be confusing and hurtful to them. Instead, think about your interactions with them. Your intuition is likely throwing up flags about something that you’ve missed. If you think about it long enough, you’ll probably be able to determine what it is that feels “off”.
People tend to think of instincts as something primal, something that we don’t use thought and reasoning with. But it’s more like that intuition kicks in before reasoning. In order to find your soulmate, you’ll need to use both your intuition AND your reasoning to weed through some of the people who aren’t right for you. You’ll have a lot better chance of finding your soulmate if you use your intuition properly!