When You’re Just the Backup

When You’re Just the Backup

Are you in a relationship where you are always wondering if there might be another girl as a plan? Instead of allowing yourself to be with a guy that might cheat on you, you have to figure out what is happening with your relationship.

Do you wait all day and he never calls you back or he ignores you when you need him? If you have a guy that isn’t taking care of you like you deserve, then chances are you are just a backup and not the priority.

Am I a Backup?

There are signs that your partner might be keeping you around until he finds something better. If this is happening, you need to step up your game and demand something better. Stop trying to figure out if you are a backup or if you are going to be a priority to him.

Here are some ways to fix this kind of relationship:

Find out the Risks

Love is never guaranteed and no matter how good you are to someone; chances are that you will never get back what you put into the relationship. A man might date you and then later down the line decide he has changed his mind about you. This could have happened because he wanted the challenge but then he got you.

When you are a backup, this means that you are not someone that is more important in the relationship. You have to look at the relationship and see what is causing you to feel this way.

Look At His Feelings

Does he tell you and act like he loves you or does he just like having sex with you? When you are someone that is a backup, he will find time for you when he wants to have a roll in the hay but when you need him, he isn’t there.

Plan something fun and see if he goes with you and if it makes him happy. See if he is having a fun time or faking it.

Know Your Worth

One thing that people often do is settle because they don’t know their own worth. You have to figure out who you are and what you want. Don’t let your self-esteem issues make you a backup plan. Don’t be a backup plan for anyone.

One of the most desired traits that a person can have been good self-esteem. Find someone that is there to make you feel good about yourself.

Ask Him

Ask him. You can come out and ask your partner if he sees you as a backup plan instead of constantly wondering about it. Take time to talk to him. If you feel that you aren’t being treated fairly then tell him what you want and how you want to be treated.


If you believe that your boyfriend loves, you then you can move forward in this and you can find out what is holding the relationship back. If he is in love with someone else, you need to find out if he is lying to you.

The situation is one that you need to learn to work through because you don’t want to be wondering if he loves you or not. You have to hold him accountable.


If you are always trying to figure out if you are second in his life, then you might need to figure out what you are doing. Maybe you are just insecure or maybe you are someone that he doesn’t really love.

Figure out which it is and what is making you feel like this. There might be some things going on in the relationship that need to be worked through before you move on to the next stage.

Leave Him

Being a backup plan is never enough and if this is happening then you need to get out while you can. If you have feelings that are constantly confusing, then you need to move on to someone else that makes you feel good about yourself and your relationship.

If you can work out the differences that you have, that can be an option but if he loves someone else then you might just be a backup. Maybe you need to take a break and see where things go later down the line.

Don’t be with someone that makes you feel like a backup plan no matter how lonely or desperate you feel. You never want to be with someone that doesn’t treat you like you deserve. Remember, sometimes guys act like this because they are confused about what they are feeling and because they don’t want to be lonely either.

When you walk away from a relationship where you don’t feel like you matter, you will realize your worth and you will make them see how worth it you are. Sometimes this has to happen but hopefully you can naturally learn to fall in love together.