Most of us women are, by default, a stickler for love affairs. We love the idea of falling in love and bask in the glory of being swept off our feet by those swoon-worthy souls with their perfect hands.
And when the going gets tough, we’re not ones to give up too easily on the relationships we’ve given our all to. But sometimes, as unwilling, and disgruntled as we might be about it, we choose to give up on love.
It kills us inside; it tears us apart. But we grit our teeth and go through with it. Women walk out on relationships they’ve built with their partners over years. They give up on a life they had built around their partners, a life of love they had woven with everything they had, even when it breaks their hearts to have to do it.
Women leave because, even in seemingly stable, happy relationships, their partners take them for granted.
Don’t get me wrong. These men aren’t douchebags, they aren’t bad at all. They’re good fathers and they support their family. But these men are so engrossed in work and going about their day, they’re not present for the love of their life.
As we get increasingly entangled in the humdrum affairs of our lives, we tend to overlook and neglect the little details.
We don’t pay as much attention as we should to those who form such a huge part of our lives.
It isn’t something we’re doing consciously. It just so happens that we let our circumstances get in the way of love. And we’re too caught up in our everyday charades to even realize that we need to put in more effort and invest ourselves and our time a little bit more in building a more fruitful, fulfilling relationship.
Men, we want to feel your presence, your passion.
Justice Schanfarber in his insightful piece writes, “Your wife is not your property. She does not owe you her soul. You earn it. Day by day, moment to moment. You earn her first and foremost with your presence, your aliveness. She needs to feel it. She wants to talk to you about what matters to her and to feel you hearing her. Not nodding politely. Not placating. Definitely not playing devil’s advocate.”
You know what we find most attractive? Your passion for life. And the fact that we’re a vital part of that.
Let us know that, from time to time. We want to know. We want to feel it and be a part of it. Pay attention to her. Pay closer attention to yourself. Delve deeper. Touch her with your full attention. Notice the most subtle sensations and emotions.
You cannot imagine how magical it feels to hear you pour your heart out.
Openness is sexy. We love listening to what you have to say. It feels fantastic to hear you talk about something you’re truly passionate about, to hear you blurt out every profound or silly little thought that might cross your mind. We want you to live in the moment, be fully present, with us.
“Hold my hand, look into my eyes, and tell me what you’re thinking.” Believe it or not, there’s nothing more heartwarming and reassuring than that.”
Take some time out every day, and be there, fully, completely there, for the love of your life.
As skewed as it might sound, this holds true for both sexes.
It isn’t just the men, but even women fail to be emotionally present in their relationships. We get so caught up with ourselves, and our own little worlds, we end up losing out on treasuring something that we hold so dear. So, irrespective of whether you’re a man or a woman, don’t forget to nurture your relationship. Let them know you’re there, that your relationship matters to you, and you’re willing to go the extra mile to keep the spark alive.
This piece highlights a crucial and often overlooked aspect of relationships. The idea that both men and women can unintentionally neglect their partners due to life’s pressures resonates deeply.
The emphasis on the need for emotional presence in the article is insightful. It’s a balanced view that acknowledges the role of both men and women in nurturing their relationships.
This article beautifully encapsulates the intricacies of love and relationships. It’s a powerful reminder that sustaining a fulfilling relationship necessitates conscious effort and dedication from both partners. I particularly appreciate the emphasis on presence and genuine communication. Such insightful reflections are invaluable in our fast-paced lives where we often take our loved ones for granted.
The author has articulated a profound truth about the dynamics of love and attention in relationships. It is indeed crucial to recognize and cherish our partners, and this piece serves as an eloquent plea to prioritize emotional presence over the mundane distractions of daily life.
Absolutely, Janitor! The notion of earning your partner’s soul through presence and passion is not just poetic but also deeply practical. This article beautifully illuminates the small, yet significant, ways we can nurture our relationships and keep the love alive.
Justice Schanfarber’s insights add a valuable dimension to the conversation about emotional presence in relationships. The notion that love should be earned daily through conscientious effort is profound.
Well, if earning someone’s soul is a daily task, I suppose love is now a full-time job! I guess I’ll add ‘be emotionally available’ to my to-do list right under ‘buy milk’ and ‘repaint the fence.’
The article provides an interesting perspective on relationships and the importance of being emotionally present. It’s a reminder that both partners need to continually invest time and effort to maintain a fulfilling relationship.
The notion that ‘women are sticklers for love affairs’ seems rather reductive and patronizing. Relationships are complex and both partners share the responsibility of maintaining emotional connection. It’s not just about men being more present; it’s about mutual effort.
Ah, yes, because clearly, the only thing holding relationships together is the man’s passion. Thank you, Captain Obvious, for enlightening us with such a groundbreaking revelation. Truly, where would we be without such profound insights!
I completely agree with this article. Emotional presence is indeed the cornerstone of any relationship. We all need to invest time and effort to make our partners feel loved and valued. This is a timely reminder for all of us.
Oh, the drama! If only life were as simple as holding hands and talking about your day. Relationships are a lot more complicated than this rose-tinted view suggests. Sometimes, no amount of ‘presence’ can save a sinking ship.
The article effectively addresses the need for mutual emotional investment in relationships. It’s a good reminder that maintaining a connection requires ongoing effort from both partners.
This article resonates deeply with me. The portrayal of emotional neglect within relationships is spot on. It’s essential for both partners to be fully present and invest in each other’s lives. Such insights remind us all to strive for genuine connection and intimacy.
This article paints an idealistic yet unrealistic picture. People are busy and sometimes being physically and emotionally present every single day is just not feasible. It’s not about being perfect; it’s about understanding and compromise.
I see your point, but isn’t the essence of the article about making small, consistent efforts rather than being perfect? Even busy people can find moments to show they care.
While the sentiment is well-intended, it seems rather reductive to suggest that the onus of relationship maintenance primarily falls on men. Relationships are complex and require mutual effort. To say that women leave because men are too engrossed in work oversimplifies the issue.
I agree with Bunny. The article does seem to place a significant burden on men. Relationships are indeed a two-way street and require both partners to be equally invested. Assigning blame to one side doesn’t reflect the intricacies of human relationships.
Amazing how we still need articles highlighting such basic yet crucial aspects of relationships. Maybe next week they’ll tell us the earth is round! It’s frustrating that we’re still having these conversations in the 21st century.
It’s somewhat comedic how the article assumes men don’t talk enough. Believe me, in some relationships, women might be the ones glued to their phones, binge-watching shows, or just as distracted! Let’s not perpetrate stereotypes under the guise of advice.