Do you know a man that you find unregistrable? Do they make you excited and weak? Being with an older man can be fun and it can be different than other relationships that you have been. Being with someone older can have ups and downs and you need to make sure that you are dating someone that is older for the right reasons.
There can be red flags when it comes to dating older men and you need to make sure that you have rules when it comes to who you date.
What Will it Be Like to Date Older Men?
Are you interested in dating someone that is 15 or 20 years older than you, but you don’t know what it will be like? Once you decide to do this, know that it can have its pros and cons. The relationship will be one that might have a strong attraction but there are things that can cause certain uneasiness when it comes to dating someone that is so much older than you.
What kind of generational gap is there with this person? If you dated this person in 10 years instead, would you feel the same about it? There is a huge gap when it comes to dating someone that is even 10 years older than you. Think about what you will be doing in 10 years and see if you feel that you would still be interested in the person as you are now.
Meeting an older man might cause you to compare the age of them with who you are right now. You have to figure out if you could date them in 10 years and still be happy. Older men are going to have gone through their own life already and their own relationism. Maybe he had a life of work and now he is calm and retired. You need to figure out what you want out of this relationship.
Most of the time older men are past the drama and they aren’t into mind games. An older man will apologize when they are wrong, and they will not have the egotistical side that they had when they were younger. Chances are that they are more secure in who they are and have no problem with committing. Are you ready for the long-term commitment?
Problems with Dating Older Men
Here are some of the problems with dating older men:
Baggage
These men will have a large past and they will often have baggage. Most of them will probably have children that might even be your age. If he is someone that keeps himself up, you might not even see the real age gap until you meet his older children.
Less Flexible
Men that are older are not as flexible as younger men. They have their own ideas, and they are set in their ways. They have their own experiences, and they are open to figuring things out. They don’t want to change, and they want to keep things in their life how they are.
What to Do and Not to Do When Dating an Older Man
Dating an older man might not be a big deal but it can be different if you are younger. It is important that you make sure that you have things that you can connect with each other. Remember that relationships are hard and if you are with someone that is settled and set, the struggles might be harder.
Dating someone that is older can still work out for you, but you need to make sure that you understand what you are going to deal with and what to expect in the relationship. This should be able to help you to figure out what to do and what not to do when dating an older man:
Discuss Dating
You need to figure out what dating means to you and to him. If you are 20 and you are dating someone that is 40, you need to find out if this is going to be long-term or if they are still looking.
Have this discussion right away so that you know what to expect. This can end up being a reason for breaking up later and you don’t want to get into some kind of mess.
Don’t Make Him Do What He Doesn’t Want
Once you are invested in the relationship know that you will not be able to make him do things that he doesn’t want. If he just wants to have casual dating, don’t expect him to marry you. Be honest with him if your feelings are starting to change and let him know.
Older men have a lot of emotional baggage from the past and they are the ones that are going to be in control of the relationship and where it goes and doesn’t go.
Learn from Him
Take time to learn from the person you are dating. They have more knowledge than you and they can teach you things. He might tell you often that he knows more because he is older and the older, he is the more right he will probably be.
Be You
Don’t lose who you are in the relationship. A younger woman will often be attracted to an older man who can give them guidance, but this should never make you lose who you are.
If you feel that you believe in something and you don’t want to change your mind, don’t. Remember, he has been through a lot of things and what he tells you or tries to get you to change is probably based on experiences in his life.
All relationships should be based on happiness and as long as you are happy with who you are, he shouldn’t be able to change this in you.
Remember Your Youth
Even if you are dating someone older, don’t forget that you are younger. If you want to do things that you can do and he can’t do them, do them without him. Remember if you marry him though, he is going to keep getting older.
Don’t Talk About His Age
You need to make sure that you don’t throw his age up in his face. Even though you are younger and can-do things, you knew this when you made the decision to date someone older. Don’t talk about his wrinkles or how he acts. This can be hurtful.
Find Things to Do Together
You will have to find things that you enjoy doing together. Since he will be older, there will be things he likes to do and since you are younger, there will be things you like to do. Find things that you can both do together and embrace the differences in ages that you have. Learn to have fun in all things you do.
Don’t Ask Him to Go Everywhere with You
Doing things with your partner is important but when a man is older, he won’t want to do everything that you do. He probably won’t even have the energy for it. You have to keep this in consideration when dating someone so much older than you.
Find things that you can do together that will be fun for both of you. Go fishing, to a coffee shop, wine tasting and other fun activities.
Be Ready for Stares
People will talk about you and stare at you for dating someone older. You might even have family that tell you how ridiculous this is. Be ready for their reaction and don’t be upset that you get a strong reaction.
Most of the time you will have people that are going to judge you for dating someone so much older than you and you need to be ready to accept these feelings and judgements.
Don’t Change Your Mind
If you want to be with someone older, then do it. Don’t let the opinions of others cause you to not date someone that you like. Choosing someone to love is up to you and if you are happy to be with him then be happy with him.
The way that you feel about him should validate your feelings and if you love this person for who he is and if love how you feel with him then nothing else should matter.
Listen to Your Feelings
As you get further in your relationship make sure that you notice your feelings. Are you in an emotional intimate relationship with him? What does your future hold?
Make sure that you answer these questions and make sure that you and he are on the same page together. Don’t let him pressure you into things that you don’t want and the same goes for you for him.
Don’t Just Assume You Know His Feelings
Dating someone older can be different and if you both started the relationship casually, it doesn’t mean that he won’t develop feelings for you and want to be serious. Don’t assume that he feels a certain way about you.
You need to have communication and not let there be a barrier when it comes to talking to each other. You need to make sure that your communication is always open.
Understand His Baggage
An older man is going to have more baggage than you and you have to accept this. He might have children and grandchildren and many ex-wives. All of this is going to come about when dating someone that is older than you and you have to learn to accept these issues.
Don’t Get Overwhelmed
Even if he has a lot of baggage, you have to learn to deal with it and not let it get you down. You have to be able to deal with his children being upset at your age and you have to know that relationships are hard work. Don’t get deeply involved with each other until you are ready.
Each person is going to be different, and the relationship will really depend on how mature you are. The more time you spend with your partner the better you will be able to understand each other.
Be Loving
Be loving with each other and make sure that you show affection. Don’t let things get in the way and make sure you are touching, holding each other, kissing and being close to one another.
Don’t Make Him Jealous
When another guy looks at you or hits on you, don’t make your man jealous. This can cause your relationship to end and be over. Older men don’t like to play games and so if you are trying to have a good relationship, avoid this.
Have Fun Together
Have fun with your partner. You are younger and you can find fun things for you and your partner to do. Don’t worry about how you should dress and all those things but learn to laugh and make things fun and happy.
Don’t Be Immature
Make sure that you aren’t acting like a teenager. You need to not have tantrums and not to throw fits or make demands. He is not your parent.
Be Intimate
It is important that you are intimate with your partner. He might want you to be the one to initiate this since you are so much younger. Don’t hold back from showing him that you love him. Have sex and enjoy time in the bed. Play games together and enjoy his body.
Know His Limits
Remember that he is older than you and he will have limits that you don’t have. This can be a lack of sex drive, issues with his health, joint and back pain, and other problems that older men have.
Know that these things can stop you from being able to be as intimate as you want. This can be hard when dating someone older, but it does happen.
Treat Him the Same
Make sure that you are treating him like you would any other romantic partner. Hold on to the idea that you are dating and make sure that you have the right mindset in the relationship.
Other Questions:
Here are some questions you might wonder about:
- How do you know an older man likes you? Older men aren’t afraid to express their feelings and they won’t play games. They will tell you what they feel about you.
- Is dating an older man better? It can be better because of the stability but it can be hard because of the age difference.
- What do older men want? Love and to be in a committed relationship.
- What age difference is, okay? You can date someone that is 20 or more years older than you.