We all encounter energy vampires every day. These people lack emotional control and empathy, and often can be quite narcissistic. They drain your energy regardless of their awareness of the toxic situation. Interactions with an energy vampire leaves you feeling exhausted, sad, anxious, annoyed, and overwhelmed. They can occur in a variety of situations from the work place to your family to the vulgar stranger at the gas station.
Energy vampire traits
- Difficulty letting people feel like themselves
- Tendency to blame others for their problems
- Drama kings and queen
- Constant one-upmanship
- Overshadowing your problems to focus on how to solve theirs
It isn’t always easy to identify energy vampires because every situation is different. You may notice when your friend is acting out, but other times it can be a culmination of years of events to spot an energy vampire in your family.
Dealing with energy vampires
Become an observer: We all are entitled to fluctuating moods and bad days. But notice how often your loved one owns their drama. Do they try to fix the problem immediately or frequently dismisses it and repeats the bad pattern? We all get mood swings and can be impulsive, but only healthy people take responsibility for their actions. You may want to create an energy map of people with whom you interact. Following any interaction, ask yourself about any impacts on your energy field. You should feel uplifted, neutral, or drained. Uses these feelings to set boundaries for future dealings.
Be factual mindset, instead of assuming things: Use your facts to form a puzzle as to how to converse with this person. Establish ways to healthily check in with your loved one about problems or concerns in their life. Try saying “I’m not sure if you are aware, and “I’m confident you are intentionally acting out, but lately I have been feeling…” or “When I reach out to you, I wanted to know how you were feeling or if I have done something to annoy you because I feel…” You may find your friend apologizes sincerely or acts distant. Their response will be correlated to their tendency towards energy vampirism.
It’s ok to take a break: Your friend can be going through something so intense that they need to focus on themselves to avoid accidentally hurting anyone else. You don’t always have to break up with this person, but how they handle an honest conversation with them about their impact will be quite telling if this is someone you should keep in your life or not. Sometimes taking a break from a person in pain can be quite therapeutic for the both of you and provide critical perspectives that can help you to know and understand what you are dealing with.