So much is out of our control when it comes to love. As much as we would like to be able to force somebody to fall in love with us, one thing we just can’t control is other peoples’ emotions. Further, as much as we might want a romantic relationship to last, we simply don’t know what the future might hold.
But there are some things in your love life that can be controlled, and then used to help create vibrant, lasting romantic relationships. Here are some of the things you can control:
The amount of effort that you put into your love life.
You get from a relationship what you put into it, just like so many other things in your life. This is true whether someone is still involved in the dating scene or if they’re already in a solid relationship. It’s completely up to each person the amount of energy they’re willing to spend on love.
You and only you get to decide the amount of effort you’re going to expend to go on dates, to respond to messages, or to create an online dating profile. You are also in control of the amount of effort you choose to put into showing your loved one your appreciation and how deeply you care for them.
How low or high you set your standards.
You are the only one who knows the type of partner that would be best for you, and the qualities you look for in others so you can thrive in the relationship together. Don’t let yourself settle for someone who’s less than what you’re looking for out of loneliness, or because you think that they’ll be good enough for the short term and might change for the long term.
Conversely, try to be realistic about what type of person you think you need so you can be happy with them. Remember, nobody is perfect! The way you decide the necessary characteristics in a romantic partner versus what would just be nice to have is one thing you can control. It is something that can have a major impact on the course of your future love life.
Your level of honesty.
We’ve all heard the old saying that honesty is the best policy. Besides being an old saying, it’s the truth. Honesty is a critical component of healthy relationships, especially romantic ones. When you’re involved in a romantic relationship, you have control over discussing with your partner things like how serious you want the relationship to be, what your personal life goals are, and if you want to have kids someday.
It’s also up to you to decide if you’re going to be honest to yourself about your feelings for your partner. Being honest to yourself about what you want and need in the relationship and what you will give in the relationship will help you to know what you want in your life.
Your level of vulnerability.
It can be difficult to really allow someone into your life and your heart. This is especially true if your past includes hurt as a result of relationships. But the level of openness and vulnerability you choose to show in a relationship is totally up to you.
You control which aspects of yourself you want to show, and when you want to show them. You get to decide what you prefer to keep hidden until you’re feeling more certain and comfortable in this relationship. This aspect includes discussions about the number of people involved in your romantic past or revealing information about the challenges and traumas you may have faced.
The amount of love you give.
The main reason for people to find a romantic partner is to receive and to give love. You have control over deciding when to fall in love, and when you’re ready to use words to express your love to that special someone. You also have control over deciding who deserves your love. This should give you the confidence you need to share your heart with somebody who really appreciates and loves you.
Everyone deserves to experience love in their lives. You deserve to be happy and fulfilled.
This reflection on control in relationships is insightful. The practical advice about not settling and being realistic about standards is particularly valuable.
This article is truly insightful and resonates deeply with me. The elements of control detailed here, such as the effort put into love and the level of honesty, truly highlight the importance of personal responsibility in relationships. It’s a great reminder that while we can’t control everything, we do have the power to shape our romantic lives through conscious and deliberate actions. Kudos to the author for presenting such profound wisdom in an accessible manner!
I found this article to be both enlightening and empowering. The emphasis on setting realistic standards and being honest with oneself and one’s partner are critical insights for anyone seeking a meaningful relationship. The discussion on vulnerability and the conscious choice of how much love to give are especially poignant. This is a fantastic guide for navigating the complex terrain of love and relationships. The author does a commendable job of blending practical advice with philosophical depth.
Ah yes, because it’s just that easy to control our love lives. Let me just adjust my ‘vulnerability’ knob and set my ‘standards’ level. Problem solved! Next, I’ll control the weather and world peace!
I find the suggestions here to be a bit idealistic. Not everyone has the luxury of being honest or vulnerable, especially if they are dealing with past trauma or difficult circumstances.
The points made in the article are thought-provoking. It’s interesting to consider the aspects of a relationship that we have control over, such as effort and honesty.
I agree, Michelle. Focusing on what we can control seems like a practical approach to love.
Indeed, Michelle. The emphasis on personal responsibility in a relationship is refreshing.
A commendable attempt at addressing the complexities of love, but it oversimplifies human emotions. The analogy of input and output is too mechanistic for something as enigmatic as human relationships.
While the article provides some practical advice on the control we have in our romantic lives, it seems a bit simplistic to boil down complex human emotions to mere effort and standards.
I completely agree, Slim. Love is far more nuanced than a checklist of what we can control. It takes deep understanding and connection beyond mere effort.
Ah yes, because love is just an algorithm of effort and honesty. Next time, let’s have an article on how to solve world peace by just smiling more. Very enlightening indeed!
This piece is refreshingly optimistic! It’s empowering to think about the aspects of love that we can control. Honesty and vulnerability are indeed the bedrock of any thriving relationship. A worthwhile read!
Oh, great! Another article telling me I need to put in more effort and be more honest. Because clearly, the problem isn’t the toxic dating culture but me not trying hard enough. Thanks for the obvious advice, Best Love Psychics!
I appreciate the holistic approach taken in the article. It covers various dimensions of control in love, from effort and standards to honesty and vulnerability. These are essential facets for anyone pursuing a meaningful relationship.
Ah, the whimsical notion that love can be controlled. What a delightful fairy tale! Seems more like wishful thinking than practical advice. Perhaps we should start by controlling gravity next?
A well-written piece. The idea that honesty and vulnerability are critical for a healthy relationship resonates deeply. It’s a reminder that emotional courage is as important as any other factor in love.
While the article offers a modicum of useful advice, such as maintaining standards and honesty, it fails to account for the dynamic and often unpredictable nature of human emotions. A more nuanced approach would be welcome.
The article provides a balanced perspective on the role of individual agency in romantic relationships. While it’s true that we can’t control others, our own actions and standards are within our grasp.
This article is such a breath of fresh air! It’s incredibly empowering to realize that we do have control over many aspects of our love lives, rather than feeling helpless.