When sadness strikes, especially if you’ve been sitting at the singles table for a while then you may be tempted to clutch onto a relationship that you’re sort of sure isn’t really right for you. Perhaps there is someone in the periphery who is attracted to you, but you’re not attracted to them, but the idea of seeing them is becoming desperately tempting.
Perhaps your feelings of ambivalence are based on the idea that getting involved means at least you’re not single anymore! When you get this urge to “settle,” re-read the list below and you may change your thinking. Truly, it’s never a good idea to settle for the wrong relationship just to have a relationship – but we all get the urge.
Don’t settle…
It takes more energy to be in a bad relationship than the right relationship. Get ready to feel run down and “not quite right” if you are putting your energy into something you know deep down, isn’t really what you want.
It will hinder your personal growth and take time away from working on yourself. Self-growth and expansion only goes two ways – out or down.
Your time will be compromised because you will need time to see this other person. It won’t be long before you feel crowded and overwhelmed if you’re not head over heels in love. You will grow to resent the person you picked on a whim. The initial courting period is a very important time for both people to decide to go further.
You won’t be open to a deep and lasting love that is healthy for you. Other available people, who could be right for you might walk right by you … You must be available for love to receive it.
What Does it Mean to be in a Relationship?
Being in a relationship isn’t everything you think it is. If you’ve been single for a while, you may be under the illusion that when this incredible relationship finally shows up, you’ll suddenly be smarter, make more money… you’ll have a whole new life and be a whole new you. These things may or may not happen, but they won’t happen because of a relationship.
Seeking Validation
It doesn’t prove you’re a lovable person just because you’re in a relationship. Grasping for love from any adult partner who comes along may be an attempt to finally get the validation you could not receive as a child. No partner can survive under this outsized expectation.
Listening to Your Intuition
You might miss the big promotion. When you go against your instincts repeatedly, eventually you won’t be able to hear your intuition. You won’t be as sensitive to what is happening around you. This dulled intuition will affect more than just your love life.
Making Your Own Anxiety
There is always a consequence to our actions. Anxiety is a clue to what is really going on inside. Knowing that you are just holding on to someone until something better comes along or because you are afraid of being alone, will create unease and even anxiety as time goes on.
Throwing yourself into something out of fear tells the universe that you don’t trust that good things are coming.
Take all the energy you wish you could spend on that special someone and throw it back into the world. Spend time with family and friends and know that even though you may be technically “single” you are not alone. You are a part of this beautiful love affair called life. You are brimming with this miracle of existence all on your own.