You need to learn to focus on yourself while being in a relationship. Relationships are about there being equality and about both people making an effort to make each other happy. Of course, sometimes you will need some space to focus on your own needs.
Even if you’re dating the person that you love and you want to have a future with them, consider what you need for yourself. Doing this before you even start a relationship can be smart.
Spending a lot of time with your partner shows you how to act when you’re with them but if you aren’t around them do you know what to do with your time? Maybe you get bored when they aren’t always around and even the things that you used to love to do on your own you might not like to do anymore. All of this means that you might be losing yourself in your relationship.
Losing Yourself
Losing yourself in a relationship means that you have lost touch of who you are and that you are too attached to your partner. When they aren’t around you don’t feel complete. Here are some signs that you might be falling into this relationship trap:
- No Longer Loving Your Hobbies
The things that you once loved to do are things you no longer want to do unless your partner does them.
- Distant Friendships
When you used to hang out with your friends you no longer want to do this because you are distancing yourself to be with your partner. You need to keep in touch with them.
- No Longer Individualized
Instead of referring to yourself as “me,” you say, “us.”
- Avoid Being Alone
You no longer enjoy hanging out with yourself and you don’t take time for yourself because it means you will have to be away from them.
- You Don’t Know Why You Do Stuff
When you do something, you make sure that it is a choice that is only for your partner even if it isn’t a good thing.
- You Have No Opinion
You stop having your own opinion and you only take on what your partner thinks or feels about something.
- Stress
Sometimes you used to be stressed but now you feel anxious all the time.
- You Feel Numb
You feel that you are not able to deal with your life unless you are with your partner. You are running on autopilot, and you feel numb all the time. You don’t even know why you act a certain way.
- Too Involved
You are too involved in your partners life. You don’t let them have their own self identity and you are in a relationship where you are too clingy and pushy. Sometimes this is a relationship that you will see in a parent and child and sometimes you become motherly to your partner instead of their equal.
- Talking About Them
The only things that you can do is talk about your partner. You tell your friends, family, and everyone you meet about who your partner is and what they do. Some might get tired of dealing with this.
- Is This Normal?
Losing yourself in your relationship can be unhealthy for you and your partner. You should give yourself to your partner but if you lose touch as to who you are and you become overly needy to them, this will be toxic and will not end well.
You should progress and grow as a couple, but you should also be an individual. Here are some things to do if you feel that you’re losing yourself in your relationship!
- Have Self-Care
Take time for yourself and know who you are. Do some self-care and do things that will make you feel good. Spend time alone without your partner.
- Reach Your Goals
Set some goals and reach them. Don’t give up on your partner but if you want to go to college, do it. Find out what you’re passionate about and focus on yourself for a while.
- Family Time
Have some family time and know that spending time with someone other than your partner is healthy. Don’t let your family become a second idea but spend time with them.
- Best Friend Time
You also need to spend time with your friends. Do something fun, go on a vacation or just have a sleepover. Most people have a good friendship circle but neglecting them isn’t good for either of you.
- Know Who You Are
Know who you are and know that you are an individual. Embrace your freedom and make sure that you are doing habits that give you power. Let your partner know what you want and what you need.
If you feel that you’re neglecting yourself, be able to talk about this. Tell them your ideas and your views and be open to talking about what you want and need. Your opinion should be heard, and you should focus on your relationship as you grow.
- Setting Boundaries
Always set boundaries and make sure that you are putting yourself first sometimes. Be careful that you are respecting yourself and your partner.
- Be Clear
Be clear about what is going on inside of you. Ask yourself these things:
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- Why am I losing myself?
- What is bothering you?
- Are you around your partner because you’re bored?
- Are you communicating properly?
Be clear to your partner about what you’re feeling and about what is happening now and what you hope for in the future.
- Future Thoughts
What do you want in the future? What do you want for yourself and for your partner? Where do you expect love to be later down the line? Plan your future thoughts and your goals.
- Notice How You Behave
Pay attention to body language and what is going on in your relationship. Are you constantly arguing about little things? Are you as happy as you could be? Notice your behaviors and make sure that you are not fearful of losing yourself or your partner.
- Date
Date your partner. Go out on dates as much as you can. Spend quality time with each other. You shouldn’t lose your partner just because you are trying to find yourself. Set back time to date your partner so that you can make your relationship healthy and strong.
- Reach Your Dreams
Challenge yourself to reach your dreams and put behind you thoughts that you can’t do it. Just because you are dating someone doesn’t mean that you have to lose who you are.
- Communicate
Communicate with your partner what you like and what you need. Tell them the things that you don’t like. Know your worth and be who you are.
- Don’t Always Agree
You don’t always have to agree with everything your partner says or does. Speak up about what you are feeling and make sure that you are telling them when you disagree. This is a healthy thing, and it is how you gain respect from them.
- Be First
Instead of always putting your partner first, put yourself first sometimes. Learn to understand who you are and what you need.
- Do it Again
Set a routine to do things that will keep you fit and healthy. Keep yourself busy when you need to and take time for yourself. Go out and exercise, take a class, get a massage, or do whatever you need to do to make you feel beautiful.
- Love Yourself
Love yourself and make sure that you are accepting your flaws and the flaws of your partner. You need to respect each other the same.
- Trust Them
Trust your partner and make sure that they can trust you.
- Don’t Neglect Each Other
Even when you are finding yourself, don’t neglect your relationships. Spend time with your friends, family, and your partner. This can keep you being who you are while being with those you love.
- Use Your Intuition
Listen to what your gut feeling is telling you. Everything in the relationship won’t be perfect and that is okay. Don’t let this bother you. Communicate openly so that you can keep your identity strong.
- Communicate
Always be open to talking to your partner. Tell them what you’re feeling.
Final Thoughts
It takes two to make a relationship work. You shouldn’t be the one that is always having to put the effort into the relationship. You deserve to be able to grow and to be able to speak up for what you want and need.
Stand up for yourself when you need to because you deserve to have a good relationship. The behaviors and feelings that you have are important and this is what gives you respect. Respect your relationship and yourself as an individual. Don’t lose yourself along the way and learn to find yourself in everything that you do.
Well, if this isn’t the ultimate ‘Relationship for Dummies’ manual. Next, we’ll get a step-by-step guide to remember our own names. Seriously, though, is it that hard to recall that being clingy isn’t a healthy relationship dynamic? Thanks for pointing out the obvious, I guess.
What a remarkable piece! The advice on maintaining individuality within a relationship is both thoughtful and poignant. The article effectively highlights the importance of personal space, self-care, and mutual respect, which are often overlooked in romantic partnerships. I particularly appreciate the emphasis on continuous communication and setting personal goals. This is a must-read for anyone aspiring to build a balanced and fulfilling relationship while staying true to themselves. Kudos to the author for such insightful guidance!
This article is an invaluable resource for anyone who feels they might be losing their sense of self in a relationship. The outlined signs of losing oneself are incredibly accurate and well-articulated, making it easy to identify areas of concern. The actionable steps for reclaiming one’s identity, from self-care to setting boundaries, are empowering and practical. It’s refreshing to see such a balanced perspective that encourages both individual growth and healthy relationship dynamics. Highly recommended reading!
What a load of simplistic drivel! Maintaining individuality while being in a relationship is just common sense. Do we really need an entire article to explain basic human behavior? This is redundant and utterly banal.
Oh, hooray! Another piece telling us how to ‘find ourselves’ as if we’re all hopelessly lost without a map. Haven’t we read this same advice a million times before? Yet, somehow, we’re still apparently clueless. Ironically, this repetitive guidance might just be the reason we keep losing ourselves in the first place.
The article provides thoughtful insights on maintaining individuality within a relationship. Balancing personal needs with partnership dynamics is crucial for a healthy bond.
It’s interesting how the article highlights the importance of self-care and setting boundaries. These aspects are often overlooked but are essential for personal well-being.
The recommendation to spend time with family and friends is vital. It’s easy to forget about other relationships when engrossed in a romantic partnership.
The signs of losing oneself in a relationship are well-articulated. It’s a good reminder to stay aware of these indicators.
I agree. Recognizing these signs early can help prevent deeper issues in the relationship.
Exactly. Awareness is the first step towards rectifying any imbalance in a partnership.
I found the tips on setting boundaries and being clear about one’s feelings particularly useful. These are practical steps for anyone feeling overwhelmed in their relationship.
Absolutely. Clear communication can resolve many issues before they become major problems.
Indeed. Boundaries and clarity are fundamental for mutual respect and understanding.
The guidance provided here is quite valuable. It’s pivotal to balance personal growth and relationship commitments. Many people, especially younger couples, could benefit from these insights. The structured advice on setting boundaries and maintaining self-care is particularly practical.
I find this article enlightening and crucial. It’s a powerful reminder that individuality should never be overshadowed by a relationship. Each person should maintain their uniqueness and continue to grow personally. Bravo for bringing attention to such an important topic!