When sadness strikes, especially if you’ve been sitting at the singles table for a while then you may be tempted to clutch onto a relationship that you’re sort of sure isn’t really right for you. Perhaps there is someone in the periphery who is attracted to you, but you’re not attracted to them, but the idea of seeing them is becoming desperately tempting.
Perhaps your feelings of ambivalence are based on the idea that getting involved means at least you’re not single anymore! When you get this urge to “settle,” re-read the list below and you may change your thinking. Truly, it’s never a good idea to settle for the wrong relationship just to have a relationship – but we all get the urge.
Don’t settle…
It takes more energy to be in a bad relationship than the right relationship. Get ready to feel run down and “not quite right” if you are putting your energy into something you know deep down, isn’t really what you want.
It will hinder your personal growth and take time away from working on yourself. Self-growth and expansion only goes two ways – out or down.
Your time will be compromised because you will need time to see this other person. It won’t be long before you feel crowded and overwhelmed if you’re not head over heels in love. You will grow to resent the person you picked on a whim. The initial courting period is a very important time for both people to decide to go further.
You won’t be open to a deep and lasting love that is healthy for you. Other available people, who could be right for you might walk right by you … You must be available for love to receive it.
What Does it Mean to be in a Relationship?
Being in a relationship isn’t everything you think it is. If you’ve been single for a while, you may be under the illusion that when this incredible relationship finally shows up, you’ll suddenly be smarter, make more money… you’ll have a whole new life and be a whole new you. These things may or may not happen, but they won’t happen because of a relationship.
Seeking Validation
It doesn’t prove you’re a lovable person just because you’re in a relationship. Grasping for love from any adult partner who comes along may be an attempt to finally get the validation you could not receive as a child. No partner can survive under this outsized expectation.
Listening to Your Intuition
You might miss the big promotion. When you go against your instincts repeatedly, eventually you won’t be able to hear your intuition. You won’t be as sensitive to what is happening around you. This dulled intuition will affect more than just your love life.
Making Your Own Anxiety
There is always a consequence to our actions. Anxiety is a clue to what is really going on inside. Knowing that you are just holding on to someone until something better comes along or because you are afraid of being alone, will create unease and even anxiety as time goes on.
Throwing yourself into something out of fear tells the universe that you don’t trust that good things are coming.
Take all the energy you wish you could spend on that special someone and throw it back into the world. Spend time with family and friends and know that even though you may be technically “single” you are not alone. You are a part of this beautiful love affair called life. You are brimming with this miracle of existence all on your own.
The insights provided here are quite valuable. The emphasis on personal growth and intuition is particularly noteworthy. Often, we overlook our inner voice, which can guide us towards healthier choices in love and life.
Another day, another oversimplified article with tired clichés. The idea that one should just ‘wait for the right relationship’ without addressing the complexities of human emotions and social pressures is frankly naive. Not everyone has the luxury of endless waiting.
This piece is an invaluable guide for those struggling with the temptation to settle in a relationship. It beautifully balances the psychological insights with practical advice, making it a compelling read. The emphasis on self-growth and listening to one’s intuition resonates deeply.
I couldn’t agree more with you both. Transforming the energy we might waste in a wrong relationship into self-improvement and cherishing our existing connections is a wonderful strategy. This article is a beacon for those seeking true contentment.
Absolutely, Drake! The idea that being alone doesn’t equate to being lonely is such a liberating concept. It’s crucial for everyone to understand this to build healthier emotional foundations.
This article eloquently underscores the significance of self-worth and personal growth over the societal pressure to be in a relationship. It’s a powerful reminder that settling for anything less than genuine and mutual love ultimately hinders not only our emotional well-being but also our potential for true happiness. Truly inspiring and thought-provoking.
This article raises important points about the consequences of settling for a relationship that isn’t right for you. It’s crucial to prioritize personal growth and self-awareness.
I wholeheartedly agree with the article’s perspective. It’s crucial to understand that settling for a relationship out of desperation can be detrimental to both personal growth and happiness. One should always strive for meaningful and compatible connections.
The point about seeking validation through relationships is particularly insightful. Understanding the root of our desires can help us make healthier choices in love.
Oh, sure! Because the universe is just sitting there waiting to reward your patience with the perfect partner. If only I’d known sooner that all I need to do is trust in the cosmos and ignore any potential relationships that aren’t absolutely flawless. What a plan!
While the article touches on some critical points about personal development and relationship dynamics, it lacks a nuanced discussion on how to navigate societal expectations. What are practical steps one can take to balance the desire for companionship with the need for meaningful connections?
Oh, great! Another article telling me to be single forever just because I don’t have a perfect match. Thanks for the pep talk, but some of us prefer companionship over this endless quest for self-actualization.
It’s a thoughtful reminder that relationships should enhance our lives, not complicate them. The temptation to settle can often lead to more harm than good.
Agreed. Quality of life should always come before the desire to be in a relationship. It’s better to wait for the right person than to compromise on your happiness.
While the advice is solid, it seems to assume that being single and waiting forever for the ‘right’ person is the ideal state. Maybe there’s value in experiencing relationships, even flawed ones, for personal development.
I agree with you, Christiana. Relationships, even imperfect ones, can offer lessons and personal growth opportunities that solitude might not provide. Balance is key.
Ah, the old ‘settling is bad’ argument. So revolutionary! Next, you’ll tell me water is wet and fire is hot. Thanks for the groundbreaking insight, truly. Guess I’ll just be single forever and acquaint myself with every cat in the neighborhood.
This article seems overly pessimistic about relationships. Not every suboptimal relationship leads to disaster. Sometimes, people can grow together and eventually find happiness even if it wasn’t love at first sight.
This article is a literary balm for the soul. In a world where we are constantly pressured to conform to societal standards, its message stands as a testament to the virtues of self-respect and patience. Settling for a relationship due to fear or societal pressure diminishes one’s essence and hinders personal growth. Well articulated!
While the article offers valid advice on not settling, it would be interesting to see more on how to build self-love and resilience while being single.
The emphasis on listening to intuition and avoiding anxiety by not settling is vital. Our gut feelings often guide us more accurately than we give them credit for.