It is almost unheard of in our modern society, but some marriages are set up by the families of a young couple. The parents of the couple agree to meet and then introduce the bride and groom to each other. In a sharp contrast to olden times, this couple is allowed to converse and decide if they want to commit to the marriage.
Years ago, the couples in the arranged marriage had little to no input and frequently did not even meet until the wedding day. As we all know, each and every relationship needs to adjust, and compromises have to be made so that the couple can move forward. A question that comes is how long the initial flurries of flirtation and excitement can last, and do we put too much stock and value in these things.
Marriage based on Love
Some people are raised on the idea that a successful marriage is based on a magical love experience. This sets us up for a serious disappointment. Marriage is hard work and definitely challenging, even if you are a good match with your partner. This probably comes from the fact that too often people commit to a partnership based largely on chemistry and sexual compatibility. Thus, when the initial stages of a marriage are over, the couple is left with the harsh reality of day-to-day life together.
Arranged Marriage
So is it settling to disregard sexual chemistry and let someone make the choice for you. Is there such a thing as good enough when it comes to marriage. Can family take the struggle out of the equation for you? Something that is becoming increasingly more common is the consultation of a matchmaker to help find a life partner.
Obviously for this to work a great deal of trust must be placed in the matchmaker and the client must be open to the idea of marriage as a process and work on building trust and a marriage.
Comparatively speaking
Research has shown that most love marriages have a few ups and downs during the first decade of the partnerships. This may be because it is within the first few years of togetherness the shine comes off the marriage and people get down to the business of living.
Conversely, in the arranged marriage, love and happiness truly blooms somewhere around the first five years. As the couple gets to know each other, they can fall in love without the blur of hormones blinding them to the maintenance of their marriage.
What about divorce?
In the case of the arranged marriage, it is harder to give up on a relationship. This is because a considerable amount of investment has gone into putting the partnership together, so the couple has many other things to consider. These influences can help a couple make the decision to work out things between themselves.
Could an arranged marriage be for you?
Consulting a matchmaker or asking your parents to find you a match is not the way to resolve your life just because you are having trouble finding a match by dating. An arranged marriage does have the components of a successful marriage by finding a partner for you that is compatible on other areas of your life instead of fixating on physical attraction.
This article offers a fascinating insight into the contrasting dynamics of arranged marriages and marriages based on love. It’s intriguing to see how arranged marriages can build a strong foundation over time, emphasizing trust and compatibility beyond initial chemistry. The notion that love can bloom as the relationship matures is both comforting and thought-provoking. Indeed, it challenges the common belief that magical love must exist from the outset. Well-articulated and enlightening!
As someone who has deeply researched the sociology of relationships, I found this article to be remarkably balanced and insightful. The comparison between love marriages and arranged marriages sheds light on the evolving nature of marital dynamics. It’s true that the initial euphoria in love marriages often fades, leading to unexpected challenges. On the other hand, the structured, methodical approach of arranged marriages appears to foster long-term stability and mutual respect. This piece serves as an excellent reminder that there are multiple pathways to a fulfilling marital life, each worth considering.
Oh, so now we’re supposed to believe that letting someone choose our life partner is better? Next, we’ll be reverting to dowries and marrying off children before they hit puberty. Please, let’s move forward, not backward.
Oh sure, let’s just let our parents dictate our whole lives. Worked out so well in the past, didn’t it? Because who doesn’t love the idea of marrying someone you’ve never met just because your mom thinks they’re ‘a nice boy.’
I can’t believe we’re still having this conversation in the 21st century. This is just another way to control people’s lives, especially women’s. No amount of ‘research’ can justify taking away someone’s right to choose their own partner.
It’s fascinating how arranged marriages have evolved over time. The modern approach seems to blend tradition with contemporary values, allowing individuals to have a say in their own future while benefiting from family support. This fusion might be a pragmatic solution to the complexities of modern relationships.
Indeed, Kelly. It appears that introducing autonomy into an age-old practice might offer a balanced approach to finding a life partner. The pragmatic aspects, combined with familial involvement, could provide a strong foundation.
The notion that matchmakers or parents can ‘choose’ a suitable partner is absurd. Love and chemistry are not commodities that can be pre-arranged. The very idea undermines personal freedom and the experience of finding true companionship.
While the concept of arranged marriages might seem archaic, the statistical data suggesting higher longevity in such marriages compared to love marriages is compelling. It raises intriguing questions about the foundations upon which we build lasting relationships.
Hilarious! So, the secret to a lasting marriage is to let Aunt Gertrude pick your spouse because she’s ‘got a good eye for these things.’ Maybe we should let her pick our lottery numbers too!
This is a fascinating exploration of the dynamics between arranged marriages and love marriages. It seems like we often underestimate the concept of partnership and overemphasize romantic love. The idea of a matchmaker’s involvement is intriguing as it introduces a structured approach to what is often seen as a spontaneous decision.
But doesn’t that diminish the authenticity of the relationship? Trust and connection might grow over time, but isn’t there a risk of lifelong dissatisfaction if the initial spark is forced?
Absolutely, the structured approach could mitigate the emotional upheavals that come with love marriages. It’s worth considering!
The role of trust in both matchmakers and the process itself is crucial for arranged marriages. It raises questions about how much external influence should be involved in such a personal decision.
There’s a valid point made about the unrealistic expectations set by the ‘magical love experience.’ Recognizing that all marriages require effort, regardless of how they start, is important for long-term success.
While it’s easy to romanticize love marriages, it’s evident that they come with their own set of challenges. The article makes a valid point about the foundation of a relationship being more than just chemistry. Perhaps we need to re-evaluate what we prioritize in a lifelong partnership.
The article touches on the importance of long-term compatibility versus short-term attraction. Whether through dating or arranged marriages, understanding and valuing deep compatibility seems essential for a successful partnership.
The article provides an interesting comparison between love marriages and arranged marriages, highlighting the different stages of development in the relationship. The notion that arranged marriages might lead to love over time versus the initial attraction in love marriages can provoke thoughtful consideration.
It’s intriguing to see research suggesting that arranged marriages may develop stronger bonds over time without the initial ‘blur of hormones.’ This challenges many modern preconceptions about relationships and compatibility.