Dating can be fun! You get to meet new people and see if they’re a match for you. But the road to love is also filled with bumps and potholes, many of them occurring on the first date!
Check out these nine first date mistakes. Have you made any of them?
1. Standing Them Up (Getting Stood Up)
Have you ever had a date with someone, only to have them not show up? Or have you made plans with someone and then changed your mind at the last minute? Unless you can’t get to your phone to cancel your date, you need to show up. Even if you’re not feeling it, you made a promise, and you need to go through with it. If possible, try calling and canceling in advance, but never leave someone hanging because you’re not ready to date, feel insecure, or lack interest.
2. Choosing The Wrong Location
When choosing a site for your first date, make sure it’s the kind of location that allows you and your date to get to know each other. Go for dinner, coffee, or head out on a hike. These are all great options. If you’re having a meal together, choose a place that isn’t too pricey or cheap. No one likes a showoff or a cheapskate! How about an art gallery? You can talk about the various pieces on display; that way, you don’t have to talk about yourselves the whole time. Don’t take your date to a noisy club. You don’t want to spend the entire night yelling in each other’s ears or, worse yet, not talking at all.
3. Dressing Inappropriately
Make sure you know where you’re going, so you can plan your outfit accordingly. Don’t be afraid to dress up a little and treat yourself to a haircut or facial. But, of course, that means you’ll need to leave the sweats at home (unless you’re doing something physical). Guys, wear a nice shirt. Ladies, it’s okay to show a little skin and experiment with your make-up, but remember, you’re making a first impression, and you want it to show you have class.
4. Giving Them Gifts
Guys, you don’t need to show up with three dozen roses and a massive box of chocolates on the first date. Likewise, ladies, you don’t need to buy him a gold chain. These gestures make you look desperate (and a little crazy). Instead, wow your date with witty banter and good manners. Keep it simple. If the date goes well, you’ll have other opportunities to give them or exchange gifts down the road.
5. Heavy Conversation
Keep the conversation light on the first date. Avoid the temptation to talk about nasty exes, the medications you take, religion, politics, and money. Of course, you can disclose a little about your past (where you’re from, what you studied in school, your hobbies, etc.), but never offload your life’s baggage on them before the appetizer arrives.
6. Being Overcritical
Don’t scrutinize your date too much. Don’t obsess over how it went or what each word or gesture meant. It’s the first date! Don’t dismiss them if they didn’t wow you. Everyone is nervous on a first date, even you. If you go on a second date (and maybe a third, fourth, etc.), they may unwind, and you’ll get a better sense of who they actually are.
7. Being a Bad Listener
When it comes to a first date, you should listen more than talk. Move the spotlight off yourself and on to the other person. It’s a conversation, not a monologue! And keep your eyes on your date in an appropriate manner. Don’t look at the hot server or the game on tv. Leave your phone in your pocket, don’t answer calls, and don’t respond to texts.
8. Overindulging in Food and Drink
Don’t drink so much that you get sloppy and inappropriate. Don’t eat so much that you spill on yourself or your clothes get uncomfortable. Show a little self-control. No one is going to find you charming if you’re intoxicated and eating everything in sight.
9. Not Following Up
If you want to go out with them again, call them the next day. It shows them you’re interested, and if you are, don’t play games by waiting three days to call or waiting for them to contact you. Finally, if you had a great time, make sure the other person knows it. Plan for your second date and ways to get to know them even better!
Dating is supposed to be fun! You have a wonderful opportunity to meet new people and explore new venues or experiences with a person that might be a special match for you. By learning 9 of the most common and troublesome first date mistakes, you can ensure you never waste your time or your emotions again!
A very enlightening read! The suggestions about choosing the right location and avoiding heavy conversations on a first date are particularly astute. It’s clear the author understands the intricacies of social interaction and the importance of making a good first impression. I appreciate how the article encourages authenticity while also promoting thoughtful consideration of the other person’s feelings. This kind of balanced perspective is exactly what modern dating advice needs.
The article offers practical advice, especially on location selection and conversation topics. It’s essential to create an environment conducive to getting to know one another.
The point about not overindulging in food and drink is quite valid. Self-control is definitely key in making a positive impression.
I agree. It’s about maintaining decorum. Excesses in behavior can be off-putting on a first date.
Absolutely. It’s about showing your best self without going overboard. Moderation is essential in making a good impression.
This article is a goldmine of practical advice! It’s refreshing to see such a well-rounded approach to first dates, with emphasis on mutual respect and avoiding common pitfalls. The point about listening more than talking is especially valuable—it’s a crucial component of effective communication that so many overlook. Kudos to the author for creating a guide that is both insightful and approachable.
Well, this sure was a revelation! I had no idea I wasn’t supposed to discuss my medication and my nasty ex on a first date. Clearly, sarcasm aside, if someone doesn’t already know these things, perhaps they’re not ready to date.
While I agree with most points, I think the advice about not bringing gifts is overly generalized. A small, thoughtful gift can show consideration without appearing desperate. It’s all about balance.
Oh, the irony of these ‘do’s and don’ts’! Hilarious that we need a guide to navigate something as natural as a date. Next thing you know, there’ll be manuals on breathing and blinking!
Is it just me, or does this article make dating sound like a minefield rather than an enjoyable experience? While these tips might be practical, they also seem to strip away the spontaneity and joy of getting to know someone new. It feels overly prescriptive.
I found this article quite informative. It’s essential to be mindful of these common mistakes. A lot of people can benefit from these practical tips to navigate the dating world more smoothly.
Seriously? Do people need to be told not to get drunk on a first date? The fact that such basic advice is necessary tells me all I need to know about the state of dating today. Pathetic.
The emphasis on being a good listener is commendable. Active listening not only shows respect but also helps in building a connection.
A balanced approach to dressing appropriately and avoiding heavy conversation seems crucial. First impressions often set the tone for future interactions.
A pretty comprehensive list, but it’s all common sense, really. If you need to be told not to get sloppy drunk or not to stand someone up, you probably shouldn’t be dating in the first place. Seriously, who raised some of these people?
It’s interesting to see how common courtesy and good manners are emphasized. Simple gestures like showing up and following up can indeed make a significant difference.
This article has some really good advice! It’s true that first impressions are vital, and avoiding these mistakes can truly set the stage for a successful relationship. It’s refreshing to see dating advice that emphasizes respect and consideration.
The tips are somewhat helpful, but they also seem to cater to stereotypes. Not everyone is looking for someone to ‘show a little skin’ or ‘wow with witty banter.’ People are unique and diverse; perhaps the advice could reflect that more?
I agree, Toodles. It feels like the article is stuck in a certain era. Modern dating is much more nuanced and diverse than these tips suggest.
You both raise good points. While basics like showing up and listening are universally good advice, the execution of some tips could definitely be more inclusive and contemporary.
Great, let’s all follow these rules and turn dating into a bland, flavorless experience. Because nothing says romance like a checklist of do’s and don’ts.
Haha! Good point, Celia! Maybe we need a rulebook just to keep things boring. How about adding ‘Don’t laugh too hard; it might scare them away?’