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When to Give a Second Chance

Have you ever made a mistake and been given a second chance? Now,second-chance-at-love-600x315 Will you give another chance to someone who hurt you? While there are many instances where a second chance is not warranted (infidelity, thievery, abuse, deception, etc.), there are also many instances where a second chance is justified. Before you decide to call it quits for good, consider these eight reasons why you should give them a second chance.

1. Someone Else Had Ulterior Motives
Your decision to cut them out of your life may have been encouraged by someone with ulterior motives. Perhaps a single friend wanted you to be single too. Perhaps someone wanted the opportunity to make a romantic move on you. No matter the reason, if someone seemed all too eager to help you sever the relationship, you should question their motives. What do they have to gain? Listening to them may have pushed a good person out of your life.

2. You Gave Up Too Quickly
When a relationship isn’t going well, sometimes it’s easier to just walk away from it rather than try and fix it. But all relationships have their ups and downs and you could have just given up too quickly. If you don’t give them a second chance you could be missing out on an amazing relationship.

I am sorry message

3. They Have Sincerely Apologized
You know what a good apology is—it’s one that specifically addresses the wrongs committed against you and acknowledges your feelings. A sincere apology comes from someone who takes responsibility for their words and actions and makes an effort to rebuild what they’ve destroyed. If someone has wronged you and made a sincere, thorough apology, they deserve a second chance.

4. You Were Wrong Too
Chances are you were not innocent and something you said or did (or didn’t say or didn’t do) contributed to the end of the relationship. If that’s the case, perhaps they (and you) deserve a second chance. If you can both admit to your mistakes, sincerely apologize to each other and work on moving forward, you can rebuild the relationship.

istock_000016766104xsmall-300x1995. You Still Have Feelings For Them
When a relationship ends, the feelings between the two people involved don’t instantly go away. Sometimes they do disappear over time, but if time passes and you still feel strongly for them, it’s time to consider giving them a second chance. Just make sure the feelings you have are healthy ones. If they treated you poorly or disrespected you in any way, you need to reevaluate those feelings.

6. Change is Possible and Probable
Is it likely they’ll change their ways? Have they already started to? Change is a good-faith gesture that shows they’re focused on their self-improvement. Could you love the new-and-improved version of them? If so, a second chance shows that you have faith in them and support them on their journey towards personal development.

7. Circumstances Were Beyond Their Control
Life can get in the way of love. Relationships may take a backseat to familial, educational and financial obligations to the point where one person decides to walk away from the other. When circumstances are beyond a person’s control, they are just doing their best to survive and get through their challenges. They deserve a second chance, and what’s more, they deserve the kind of care, affection and attention a close friend or partner can provide.

boy_parents8. There Are Children Involved
Many people are in relationships that they just can’t walk away from, and often that’s because children are involved. As a parent, every decision you make, good or bad, impacts your children, so that means you need to work extra hard at relationships that directly impact them. They see and hear more than you know, and working out differences with someone close to them (a parent, grandparent, etc.) teaches them tenacity, perseverance and love.

Not all failed relationships should be thrown away for good. But in order for you to determine who deserves a second chance and who doesn’t, you need to trust your intuition and tap into it. That’s not always an easy thing to do, but it’s necessary if you want to surround yourself with truly good people who inspire, uplift, love and support you for all the right reasons.

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